"angel"---me??? :)

Its amazing sometimes how a small thing can hav such a major impact on ur life...
Sometimes, life changes wth a fraction of a second n even before u know it ,u r a different person altogether...living a drastically changed life, very different frm the one before the "fraction of tht second"...:)
It never ceased to amaze me how ppl change soo much, how they can make sucha important decisions within a matter of minutes...
would they regret it later?
would they feel they never really wanted it?
would they think of it as a bad deal?
Most ppl who know me would know tht i think with my "heart" most of the times...n maybe thts the reason tht ive succumbed to a lotta bad deals in life...maybe made some wrong desicions too...but never really thought of it as wrong, cos i for one dont like to regret things i'd cherished (once upon a time)...
Besides i always believe tht in life thr r no wrong desicions...they r juss desicions, whethr they r wrong or right is purely subjective...its juss something u think is best for urself n for the others involved in any given situation or circumstance...so where does the question of it being a bad or wrong decision come??
People who dont know me too well think tht i usually listen to my mind...:)
i wish!!!...but thn again,sometimes mebe thts the best thing to do... oops ,sorry--thts me digressing!
So we were speakin bout how a small thing can change lives...
Someone sent me a e-card yest wch said "thanks for being my angel"...well tht did bring about a strange sorta satisfaction, the kind u experience whn someone thinks of u as a important part of life...weirder still i had absolutely no idea how i'd helped this person n why i was being called his "angel" n tht confused me all the more...:(
Later in the evening, i did manage to catch "mr X" online and ask hiim about it...n thn it struck me tht here was a friend who i'd not been speakin 2 for a long time now...he had moved to anothr town n we had drifted apart...no contact, no mails n juss a few offliners once in a while...we spoke about old times and only thn i realised how a small thing said can make such a significance in a persons life...
Whn i asked him bout the angel bit, he reminded me of how i had helped him out whn he was goin thru a bad phase...n tht he could never thank me enough for it :)
More than him being happy, i was happy...was happy tht atleast i'd been of help to someone , someone who valued the lil assurance id given in sucha a big way :)
In life, we all hav such "angels" in the form of friends, who keep helping us spread our wings , helpin us learn to fly, helpin us to be angels for someone else...
N tht set me thinkin,
sometimes we become angels n we dont even know it :)

*smiles*

"LAGE RAHO..."

Today was one of those funfilled, laughter packed sundays...
I started off being the lazy pri tht i usually am on weekends ...no sunday mornin has ever seen me waking up before 9 (wch in itself isnt soo bad is it?)
The day started off with a surprise phone call from a close friend who announced his return which was scheduled not before the coming friday morning!
So tht in a way was a pleasant surprise...and i always like it when people seem genuinely happy to come back home esp from a foreign land...(blame it on the patriot in me)...the rest of the day was pretty fun...
A couple of my friends and me got together to watch the much awaited "lage raho munnabhai" and needless to say , it was awesome...
Sanjay dutt has as usual done full justice to the character and i must say tht guy has turned out to be a fine actor...i always liked him right frm his "saajan" and "khalnayak" days and knew he wud make it big someday...he rocks at comedy n all u guys who hav watched "munnabhai MBBS" will know wht im sayin:)
Arshad warsi aka "circuit" is a riot...n i couldent help wish i had atleast one friend like him in life who wud agree wth me even whn im at my craziest worst and would fight anyone who dare go against me even if i am looney enough to say tht cannibles are strictly vegetarians or uh..um..uh..tht brad pitt proposed his undying love for me or ummm...tht people can actually survive the gobimanchurian i (claim to)cook without makin those funny faces while eatin it or throwin up within 15mins thereafter ...:( sigh!


Vidhya balan looks gorgeous and has proved tht she can not only stun ppl by her "parineeta" appearance but also amaze thm wth her "modern girl" personality...
The rest of the characters ,boman irani, diya mirza,jimmy shergil, abhishek bacchan (in his 2mins role) hav also done full justice to their respective parts...ohh and not to forget our very own "dilip prabhavalkar" aka "bapu" has played a almost real life role of gandhiji...
Apart frm the fun element, jokes n hilarious dialogues, the movie also sends a message through...it speaks bout the gandhian theory of nonviolence and how it is always victorious in the end...it shows how reverse therapy never fails to work...:).
It also stresses on how we people of the so called modern age hav forgotten the small things in life wch actually make all the difference...the respect for elders, the gratitude for our parents upbringing...
Another thing i liked bout the film is how murli manages to bring about awareness about the superstitious crap wch many ppl are soo very easily vulnerable to...(ekta kapoor!! go watch it NOWW)...
Thrs one scene in which gandhiji tells murli to go and tell his lady love who he actually is before she gets to know it frm boman...how true!!!
whats more painful than getting to know ur love has cheated you, is getting to know it from someone else...
But in the end our warmhearted,sweetnatured murli does succeed in getting his lady love---thanks to no other than "bapu" himself :)
In a nut shell---its a awsome movie, hilarious to the core, light and fun to watch...n yess it does keep u askin for more (unlike some movies whr u juss wait n wait n wait for the cliched ending -(wch comes after a good 3and a half hrs)only because u paid 150 bucks...tsk tsk!! bet ull know wht im referrin to...sigh! neways)
This movie managed to get us all smiling ad the smile lasted for a long time even after the movie ended...thanks to the company of friends who kept mimicking circuit's famed"bhai tu tansion nahi lene ka aa" dialogue...:D
The day ended by a long walk on the beach,eating golgappas, bhel and makka at the stalls , and long conversations...
And yess it IS true! its these small things in life which make all the difference!! :)

and life goes on!!

Once again, i find myself at the crossroads of life!!
Why doesent life cease to confuse me even though ive given up on it??
Why does it still come up with new surprises and makes them even more obvious exactly when im tryin to ignore thm??
Why does it put forward choices wch i dont feel like making anymore n yet dont feel like losing??
True! life gets all the more complex wth each coming day n the confusions never cease...
Sometimes i wonder, rnt we even given the right to make the smallest decisions of our lives?? nothin seems to be in our hands, in our control...yet we often like to believe we can do something about it...
A simple arguement brought about many a realisations today...a simple conversation made me think a lot about the way i am wth the people around me...maybe all im doing is neglecting those who caree soo much for those who dont at all...those were the exact words n they stung!! stung bad! ...
because somewhr i knew they might be true!
Asif things werent enough, i was lectured on how i hav this superinferiority complex tht makes me feel tht i cant deserve any good and how i doubt life whn it brings pleasant surprises along...yeah right!!Next il'l be told im crazy n ahud be admitted in some asylum...hmph!
Life these days is all about arguements..how i shud get rid of my trust issues , how i should believe in love,.perhaps also..easter bunny .tooth fairy..n santaclaus too...(no?? err i thought the rest wud follow suit..lol!!)
And thn if ive changed soo much, why do i still care? why does it still hurt to see a close friend goin away? why does it still sting when someone proposes to me n i hav to say tht i probably cant tk it more than a good friendship??why is thr still a probably?? why do i still get misty eyed when i watch those "ultra corny" movies wch always manage to hav a happy ending??why dont i no longer believe in happy endings??? why has my faith in "good things happen to good ppl" dwindled soo much??

Why does it hit when my family says ive changed?? why dont i hav anything to say when ppl ask me for explanations, reasons and advice...even though i did hate it soo much myself once upon a time?? why do i go back to being the old pri,vulnerable, naive,ultrasensitive sometimes n thn have to remind myself tht im not the same anymore n tht ive changed???
AND thn yet again, why do i still wonder bout life...

sigh!
juss goin with the flow, takin each day as it comes...
juss hopin i dont get swept away too far...:)

Best time of the year :)

The loud noise of firecrackers, blaring of loudspeakers, the beating of dhols, the singin of aartis n yet no frowning neighbours,no complaining grownups ---yep folks, afterall its ganesh chathurthi!!:)


karanji's,
modaks,
welcomin ganpatiji into the house,
the gettin together n singin aartis,
girls puttin mehendi on their hands,
the competing for who'll sing the most aartis wthout lookin in the book even once,
the shopping for new clothes,
the "lets see how many modaks u can polish off" record;),
girls in pretty sarees or formal attire and guys in formal kurtas all lookin their traditional best,
goin to see atleast 5 sarvajanik ganpati on the last day,
remindin ppl not to see the moon n keeping a count of how many actually do so juss cos they happened to be reminded...lol *the case of the forbidden fruit*;p
the taking care not to see it urself :(
the putting up of the "matoli" (for ppl who dont know wht tht means, its a part of the ritual for decorating the specified space above the idol wth a variety of fruits...er...cant explain the exact thing on here...still want to know?? come over ;p),
the waiting for the "panchkhadya" n eating it more as lunch than as "prasad"...;p,
the "trying to help mom" attempt n getting kicked out of the kitchen cos u r eating more than wht u r helping make...heehee,
but thn, as usual time flies exactly whn u dont want it to...n before u know it,its visarjan time...:(
I still remember weeping during visarjan whn i was a kid...those days it was more of all the fun comin to an end than missing ganpatibappa not being around...now im highly amused whn my kiddo cousins do the same ...lol!!!
But then i try explainin to thm the very same thing my mom used to explain to me as a kid ,tht "ganpatiji has other people in othr worlds to take care of n he has to visit them too...so no matter even though he is goin back home, he will still be watching us and taking care of us" *smiles*
Tht used to make me smile thn but after a while, i used to torture my mom wth questions like "why cant he tk care of them stayin here at our place" and "dosent he like the food here or MEE??"...now tht i think of it,i was quite a brat!! ;p n i wonder if tht "fishing for compliments" is congenital ...lol!!!
But kids nowadays hav a lot more to ask n their questions never end...so do manage cookin up stories like "he will visit in a day or two" but dont think they fall for it sigh! cos the bawling dosent stop...tsk tsk, makes me love myself even more after lookin at these brats...mom!! r u reading?? ;p never gave u such tantrums did i?? always simmered down after one or two modaks ;)n thn again did really believe in tht theory of urs...
err ..., i still do *smiles*



so ending this post wth lots of sweet wishes for a bright, happy and lucky future...



HERE'S WISHING,

A VERY HAPPY GANESH CHATHURTHI" TO ALL U LOVELY PEOPLE OUT THERE! :)




GANPATI BAPPA MORYAA!!!

MANGALMURTI MORYAA!! :)

TAGGED!!!

Ive been tagged...(for reasons unknown, ive been told not to disclose the identity of the blogger who's tagged me :) shhh...some ppl want their blogs to remain a secret , cant wonder why cos i aint too far behind)
Anyways since i dint have anything better to do, i thought mite as well giv it a try...so here goes :

its called the "I DUNNO WHT TO CALL IT" tag...heehee

1) I am thinking about
mmm...u dont deserve to know!!! ;p

2) I said
"sorry" but am feeling real bad about it.hmph!..it wasent my fault *all defensive*

3)I want to
just run away from the place and state im in right now ...sigh!giving "HAWAI" a thought...
I also want to go bungee jumping frm a height of over a thousand feet *obviously wth my eyes closed*

4) I wish
u wud just go away n stop being curious about stupid questions, the answers to which u cant do anything about...

5)I miss
old times...dosent the title of my blog give u a hint???
besides tht i miss my school friends, the getting drenched in the rains and sitting with the AC blast on, the cutting chai n samosas wch were a famous speciality at the dhaba of our HSSC yrs, the friends ive lost along the way---some for reasons known n some unknown :), the funtimes wth cousins during ganesh chaturthi ,the teenage innocence n gullibility ....well the list is a long one, lets not get further into it...this "tag" is supposed to make me feel better isnt it??? *raises an eyebrow*

5)I hear
a lotta people complaining , whining and cribbing er..about pri *blush* ;p

6)I wonder
have stopped wondering...

7)I need
my pc, my friends........................................................................hmm can i tell u what i dont need instead???


8)I regret
nothing...
regretting something would only make things lose their value n afterall life is never about regrets...n if u live it right (wch is again a subjective thing),u dont need to have any ...:)

9)I dance

err...
sorry ppl, but i have two left feet n thn again lose my inhibitions only amongst close friends (n thn i dance like a farmished cannible)...so u wont normally see pri dancing away to music ;p

10) I cry
gawd!! do i HAVE to answer tht??? *embarressed*
i cry like a baby who's candy has juss been snatched ...heehee...thts whn i want everyone to know im howling err crying i mean :P
At other times---*chooses not to answer tht* :)

11)Im not always
purrfecct!! but almost always ;p

12)I make wth my hands
huh!! whts tht supposed to mean???

13)I write
in a futile attempt to get over life
for fun *sometimes*
because i lovvvveeee to write---period! :!

14)I confuse
myself (most of the times)

15) I should try
not to make impulsive desicions
to stop being as vulnerable
to start acting my age---im usually acting "extremes" nowadays ...*sigh*

16)I should finish
this tag real fast (even if it means tht i hav to write crap.heehee)cos...its beginnin to bore me!!

17) I know
tht u guys must hav pretty much fallen asleep by now

18) I am
er...wht i am...n dont think tht can change even if u want me to ...

19)and finally
i hav finished off with this...yaayyyn hopefully ull have survived it ...

20)I tag
whoever wants to be tagged

"KANK"---wht was that???

sheesh! wht a waste of good time and money!!!
My friends and me went for the first day first show of "KANK" n ive got juss one word for the movie ---DISASTER!
Wonder wht the hype was all about!
me being a ardent "SRK" fan was all super exited to go for it more than 2 weeks in advance...n thn wht does he do?? let me down big time..hmph!
I remember havin those pre "KANK" long discussions bout how the movie wud be and after reading the huge expectations karan and amitabh had managed to create in their interviews , we were almost certain tht "SRK" and "rani" wud set the screen on fire once again!! LIARS! :( yep surely the screen wud be set on fire ...but probably by the angry audience who were thoroughly let down by a stupid story n senseless acting! hmph...
The only good thing bout "KANK" are the songs...they r beautiful n thts one of the reasons i had my expectations high...but even they were put all in the wrong places...the beautiful title song was all spoilt by makin it a "first meet" song...sheesh...(who the hell says "kabhi alvida na kehna" to a stranger u juss come across...not me), mitwa was good n thankgod atleast it dint pop up at a funeral or sumthin...hmph!


but thn overall it seemed tht KJ juss wanted to push those wonderful songs in between some crappy scenes n dint know wht he was doin...either he dint get it right or i dint...*snigger*AB has played his part well and for the first time junior AB has won my heart over SRK :)...thr sure were a coupla good shots but thn we expect sumthin better than tht frm such a bigbanner multistarer film isnt it??? *sigh*
The response was outrageous...yeah , nobvody liked it *snigger* (outrageously disgusting) n now i know why sanjay dutt said tht the movie mite lead even the best of couples to think bout their marriages n go for a divorce...lol!!
Peopple had already started walkin out even before the movie ended...but me a hopeless "SRK" fan still clung on to the hope tht IT (the storyn his crappy acting) wud actually get better in the last 5 minutes atleast...hmph!! but i was greatly dissapointed...
we went home wth a light pocket, a pissed off mood and an invisible "anti karanjohar" banner on our head instead of the halo i normally hav there...esp while watchin a KJ flick...

but wht the hell! atleast the popcorn was good
*uh oh...apun ke andar ka optimist jaag utha* :D

PS: those who r planning on goin for the movie,please sell ur tickets unless u guys get the news tht a tsunami is coming and the only safe place is a multiplex...better still , stay at the snack bar...its better than the 3hours of crap ...even the "bubblegum wrapup" couldent save the film...eyuckkk!!!

LETS CELEBRATE...

Wht the hell is wrong with me??? i wake up in the mornin, stretch lazily n scurry to my pc to check my mail...once thts done, come on to blogspot, try to put across some random thoughts which seem to be creatin havoc in my mind...failing miserably at it , i manage to type down some things wch dont make sense to either any of u or to me...yet i choose not to delete the post, wondering if u guys will take my insanity for philosophy...thn realising how pathetic my wishful thinkin is, i go back to my room...
"beep beep" goes my mobile asi look at the screen lazily, i see a notice sayin "2 new msges"...it being a lazzzy sunday ,i stretch again deciding whether i should juss put it away for later or make tht extra effort n press the small lil button wch says "open"...*yeah yeah, dont stare at me...i know im lazzyyy ...yawn*
ok so i did finally make tht extra effort which led me to hate myself for the next 10 minutes (sigh! i cant even hate myself for long )
I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT "FRIENDSHIP DAY"...:((
dang! today was the 6th of august, n i hadent even realised , had juss blogged bout some crap which was not even remotely related to friendship...wht the hell!! hav i changed soo much...
OK ok so ul'l must be wonderin wht the big fuss is all about...but it is to me...this day has a great deal of significance in my life n i dont think ive ever forgotten it the last soo many yrs...n today 6th august 2006, i broke my record of the past ...sheesh!!!
Thn as usual, i went guilttripping...why was M remindin me tht it was the 5th yest...hav i unintentionally proved all my friends right inspite og going in denial mode everytime they said ive changed , tht i dont value their friendship as before...
GOD!! ofcourse not, now im exaggerating (i hope)...well i did go on a "happy friendship day" msging spree after tht...n yeah did feel a lil guilty whn 4 of my friends replied saying "wish u the same...thanks for remembering"...sheesh!! they dont spare me even on friendship day do they...thanks for the friendly sarcasm guys, juss remember tht i can do without it next time..hmph!
Anyways this post would hav been a really sweet post bout how friendships are the most essential element of life, n how i cant do without my friends :)
it wud hav been about all the things i soo very much cherish, all the friendships wch hav such a important place in my life , in making me the person i am today (good , bad or ugly ...heehee...ok ok juss kiddin ;p)
but thn i guess , ive spoilt the very mood by forgetting about it n i dont think i can undo that by writing a post, would be superficial n i would be the first one(and mebe the only one) to feel so...so juss being true to myself (*grin* dont look at me like tht...its not an excuse, im not tht lazzzyyy *scowl*)
But il'l tk this as an oppurtunity to thank all the lovely people who hav made a big difference in my life though some of you mite be hardly aware of it :)
Pri values all her friends tht are or hav been a part of her n she never will forget them come wht may...as for those who are no longer with me,it might be that
we may not speak for a day, for a month, for a year or maybe never get the chance to speak again in this lifetime...but the times we hav shared will always remain with me...the memories of friendship will forever be etched in this heart which has come across as rock to some and gold to others *smiles*
In life, we meet some strangers n thn we get to know thm a lil better...but its only a few tht we call as friends...
we promise never to go away, to always be there for each other...some live upto their promises, some juss break them n never turn back while a few life offers to break...and all we are left behind are those nostalgic moments...*smiles*
Whtever be the situation, a friend can never be forgotten even if it looks otherwise...:)
So learn to value the friendships in your life...and try never to hurt the heart of a friend ...cos as the old sayin goes "friendship is like china ware, costly rich and rare, once broken can be mended, but the crack is always there"

n this goes out to all my friends who im yet to meet ...
*** be my friend only if you are here to stay,
or else go back n come another day...
You can say "hi", or "hello" or ask me if im fine,
but dont call urself a friend, unless you are mine***

hmmm am i possesive??? ;p
Anyways have a rocking friendship's day and keep making friends...life is long and i definitely need friends along the way...so count me in!!

once again! hav a rocking day
CHEERS TO OUR FRIENDSHIP
TODAY N FOREVER...

hugsss

What is "truth" exactly??is it what we hear or is it what we like to believe?
Sometimes we know we are being fooled , yet somewhere we wish it to be the truth...n thn the heart just refuses to listen to our mind...
sometimes we know what we are in for, yet we dare to take tht extra step, go that extra mile knowing tht we maybe crushed along the way...
Ever wondered how the situation changes when we hav to face it...its really amazing but it gets a whole new perspective when we are involved than when someone who wants our advice is...why so???Guess thts the fallacy of being "emotional homosapiens" who supposedly are supposed to be far luckier than the so called "inferior species" because er..they hav a mind of their own...
but then again, are we really lucky?? or does it just add up to the confusion of whts beneath the tough looking calvarium? :) hmmm ...sets me pondering!
Coming beck to the topic, wht exactly is meant by "truth"...is it wht we realise or are made to realise based on evidence/proof/factual circumstances or is it the inner voice, the so called "gut feeling" (which sometimes can go dangerously wrong)...
well , according to me the former is all bout thinking with ur mind (the practical way wch unemtional people are supposed to think) and the latter is about thinkin with ur heart(as do the hero's in any karan johar flick *snigger*)
But what bout us confused homosapiens who do not understand wht to listen to...who do we trust?? "the practical mind" or "the sensitive heart"...whoaa ...its quite a mess...guess i should give up on thinking...but thn again , easier said than done right? :)
A friend told me recently that i think too much and that i should learn to chill and enjoy life as it comes...chill?? err..how exactly do u do that?? and does chilling promise us permanent peace of mind or rather should i say would it drive away all my thought processes...nahh!! i dont think so, its almost a "u can run but u cant hide" scenario...i guess ppl who think chilling out is a escape route should go get a reality check!! well , its true tht it does give u a temporary clear mind feelin...but thn how long??
Theres no thing like "avoidance", u cant avoid anything for long, it does come back to u :) ...so why do we even try??
guess "giving up" is part of human nature too *sigh*