last night...

Last night, i was standing looking out of my balcony window, staring at the dim lit skies hoping for some star out there to miss a step and come tumbling down, just to humour me.....when all of a sudden, a gentle breeze blew across my face.
there was something in the air which made me let my hair loose--asif like a reflex reaction..it felt like a long time since i'd done that..stood there in solitude with my mind devoid of all thoughts...of all fears..of all the worries that haunted me.

the breeze had a musical quality to its voice which sounded almost hurt...hurt that i had been ignoring it all this while..
the silence of the night spoke to me---a conversation between two friends which had long been pending just because i was always busy...busy searching for falling stars to wish on..
busy thinking of you...
busy worrying of the what-if's, the hows, the why's and the why not's...

last night i had a long conversation with the night...there was noone there..even the moon decided to leave us alone, not wanting to disturb two friends catching up after ages...
the wind whispered something in my ears..but i was too happy to even notice..probably it was complimenting me.

and then it rained!!
the moon laughed..the stars giggled...attention seeking behaviour, i thought!
but this time, i allowed it to rain on me.i locked myself out in the balcony and stood motionless and still allowing the tiny drops of rain fall on my face...as it started pouring harder, i stood there totally drenched--as if unaware of all around, lost in the magic of a million tiny raindrops all over me.
i was blank--my mind like a clean slate...it felt great..and that was all that mattered.


last night, i slept with the windows open.
the moon sung a beautiful lullaby, the rain added the music and the stars watched over me as i slipped in the land of dreams
and in between all that, a lot of pent up questions got answered.


For the first time in my life, it actually felt like a new beginning.

last night, i was born again!!

blah!

how do you react when you overhear the most cold hearted person you have ever known, speak about 'love' as if he knows everything there is to know of the emotion?

double standards or a deep unshared secret?

of scary beginnings with happy endings...

it is hideous to look at...
unkempt, crude and miserable,
lying unnoticed and uncared for,
you ignore it at first,
of what good could it turn out to be,
this wretched looking thing,
moments of illogical contemplation,
and you find yourself picking it up,
only because its about time you took notice...

and then the story begins...
you soak it in the foam lather of your thoughts,
cleanse it with the scrub of your interest,
powder it with the sparkle of your lavender dreams,
spray it with the intoxicating fragrance of your soul,
lace it with frills and fancy of your imagination,
all until you have seen nothing like it,
exquisite and beautiful--it has become...

its time for the story to end...
and you have fallen in love with it,
not for its mere appearance,
but for what all it has gone through--just for you...

and perhaps, that is what they call a perfect ending!!

have you ever experienced it--the slow metamorphosis of reality into a dream??

cryptic thoughts #8

sometimes all you have to do to create a masterpiece, is close your eyes and splash colours on an empty canvas....

what a strange solace it brings--this freedom of the soul!!

my mirror lied to me...

i stood before the looking glass,
all polished, clean and bright...
and thought i'd stay a lil longer,
since there was noone else in sight...

it had been long i hadn't noticed,
and admired the beauty there,
the big black curls of hair left loose,
my skin so smooth and fair...

the innocence of my bright doe eyes,
the straight bridge of my nose...
in the perfect curve of my lips i saw,
the freshness of a rose...

my dressing sense was perfect,
my aura divine...
i couldn't help but beam with joy,
at the slim beauty so fine...

oozing with self-confidence,
gazing longer with utter glee,
i wanted to stay and gloat,
about this pristine beauty in me...

i lost track of all around,
of people, time and sense,
looked at all else with frozen eyes,
as i swelled with pride immense.

and as the clock went ticking by,
i foccussed more on the image there,
my big black curls looked sucha mess,
and it seemed i was losing hair!!

my skin stopped looking bright and soft,
i noticed acne here and there...
my eyes tired and my nose too big,
no freshness of red roses anywhere..

bewildered by what i'd seen,
unaware that i was running late...
i gazed longer to notice more,
how this mirror ruined my fate.

i no longer was slender and slim,
i looked short and ugly and fat...
my eyes began to brim with tears,
how on earth could i look like that??!!

my dressing sense seemed ghastly now,
the aura was nowhere in sight,
afraid to collapse right then and there,
i gathered all my trampled might..

sense of people, place and time was back,
nervous, i smiled and stumbled...
the overconfident me was gone,
the ego in my eyes had humbled...

and lo!! it dawned on me--the truth,
i'd gazed too long to see...
and bored to death with my shallow pride,
my mirror had lied to me!!

:) ~~ :) ~~ :) ~~ :) ~~ :) ~~ :) ~~ :) ~~ :)

sidenote--i have written this piece as a dedication to that little narcissist in all of us who tends to becomes so self obsessed at times, that we tend to belittle and ignore everything else around us...until we realise that beauty is only skin deep and that the superficiality we take so much pride in could be just an illusion which with time, will eventually disappear..

the 'three' tag

3 names you are known by:
--priyanka (for colleagues and acquaintances)
--pri (for friends and fellow bloggers)
--priyu (for family)

3 things that scare me:
---extremes of emotions because of all the vulnerability and hurt they usually bring along as a package deal.
---the beginning of the end or even the mere thought of it.
---ceiling fans in speedy motion..if i gaze at them for too long *embarassed*

3 things which make me smile:
--selective memories
--gurgling babies
--shooting stars

3 things I love:
umm this is difficult..will try and limit myself to just three..
--strong endings
--amicable easy flowing conversations with friends (not to be confused with senseless banter--which bores me after a while)
--writing

3 things I hate:
--being taken for granted
--uncomfortable silence
--interference from people who dont matter to me

3 things I don't understand:
--the why's of life...
--the but's of life...
--the how's of life...

3 things I'm doing right now:
--filling up this tag
--waiting (go figure!)
--listening to presleys "always on my mind" playing in the background.


3 things I can't do:
---commit or even agree to commit to something of which im not 100% sure
--forget or forgive completely (a small part of it still remains in me somewhere)
--go against my ethics (includes both--professional and moral)


3 things I think you should listen to:
--music (be open to all kinds..every piece has something to say and im not talking about just the lyrics here)
--me, attentively..because you might miss something very important and you wont even know it..
--your inner voice

3 shows I watched as a kid:
--small wonder
--the jungle book
--bewitched

3 things I want in a relationship
---trust
--chemistry
--commitment
(in no particular order)

3 physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to me:
--a good height
--a great smile
--a decent sense of dressing

3 fav fictitious characters
there are so many..but since im supposed to mention just three--
--Edward Cullen from the 'twilight' series (for his protective and unconditional love)
--Rick Blaine from 'casablanca' (for his cynical yet charismatic personality and rigteousness)
--Hassan from 'the kite runner' (for his strong loyalty and affection towards his best friend)

3 of my favorite Hobbies
--writing
--music
--reading
(yea..i know..but its okay to be boring sometimes!)

3 beverages I drink regularly:
--tea
--water
--*blank*

3 things I like about myself:
--the art of being able to lace the most serious of moments in humour (i dont know how far i succeed in it..but atleast everybody's laughing)
--i believe in being totally frank while expressing my opinion about anything or anyone..double standards can never be my cup of tea and i think that is something to be proud of.
---i like the fact that writing makes me happy from within and that it is one of the things i can always count on.

3 things I hate about myself:
--my heart and mind are always at war and somehow i make sure neither of the two wins..
--i am very very impulsive and short fused at times...
--i become easily susceptible to hurt when it comes to someone i think the world of..

3 things I am wearing right now:
--a tea shirt and pj's
--a hairclip which i wouldn't be caught dead wearing outside the house (hideous is the word!)
--flip flops on my feet

2 truths and a lie (in random order):
---i do not believe in love
---chocolate has never been a stress buster to me
---i was born in the month of june
(go figure..lol!)

3 people I want to tag
---adreamygirl
---mangomanbunty
---choco
(hope you guys will take this one up)

cheers!

cryptic thoughts #7

there are two types of dreams---
those which have the strength to keep you forever awake thinking about them...
and those which have the power to make you look forward to sleeping forever if it means you are going to see them again...

so what does the phone say about you??

writers note--all categories in this post are inspired by real life people/conversations and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional.

I hereby categorise people into five clear groups on the basis of how they sound while conversing on phone.............im sure everyone can relate to this...so please do not accuse me of being judgemental..

1) wet blankets----these are ultra cynical souls who can encourage normal people into attempting suicide..
no amount of enthusiasm on the part of the other person can manage to get the least bit of pep in their voice..
they sound 'dead' and if you dont wrap up the conversation fast, you might end up sounding just like them..
this category of people should be avoided:
---when in a good mood
---before going out to a party, social gathering, get-together
---after coming from a party, social gathering, get-together
---in extremes of depressive phases (they can only make matters worse)

more than half the times, this category of people can manage to disgust or depress you even before they answer the call..
im sure you must be having at least one person in your life that you can relate the above mentioned with..you know, the kind who never answers the phone when you have to tell someone the greatest news in the world...and when if they do eventually answer it, they will just make sure that it no more feels like good news??
yeah..thats the kind im talking about..sigh!

2) the perky peps---as opposed to the above category, this group manages to pep up your spirits with that little happy ring in their voice, make you smile because you can actually feel they are smiling on hearing them and needless to mention never let their mood affect the flow of the conversation..
they are the type who despite of getting irked during the conversation, will never say 'bye' on a bitter note..
such people are always a pleasure to speak to..


3) the karma chameleons----now this is a sect of people who's every phone call depends on how the previous phone conversation with you has gone..in short, they never forget!
they decice your 'karma' and accordingly change colours tones.
and the worst part is you are caught absolutely unaware with no frigging clue on why they are sounding so pleased or so pissed...
just blame it on the 'karma'!!

4) the monosyllabic maestros
this sect of people are ardent followers of ronan keating and think that they say it best when they say nothing at all..
personally, im not someone for whom silent conversations work..so whenever that happens, i focus on other noises in the background.and dont blame me if i get curious about the yelling, the gaali galosh or sweet nothings being whispered by someone in your extended family or by your neighbour on the 3rd floor or for something i am not supposed to be hearing...its not my fault!
often times these monosyllabic maestros are misunderstood as being arrogant and impolite when all that is to be blamed might be poor communication skills.
frankly, such people should restrict themselves to attending only job interviews and business calls, because they clearly cannot help anyone else with their 'yes' and 'no'.


5) and last but not the least, the one-sided conversationalist-----this category, as the name suggests include people who can never face the risk of being lonely or alone..
they can talk and talk and talk without actually bothering if the person at the other end is sleeping, comatose or dead (not that they would do much anyways)
people belonging to this category can get along very well with 'monosyllabic maestros' because neither party is actually interested in what the other has to say..and needless to mention, both wind up having a very satisfied and mentally undisturbing conversation..

but if you want to say something or speak you mind, then these people are clearly not going to be the choice to call.chances are they might completely ignore what you have to say and start off beating their own trumpet which wont stop unless you slam the phone down in anguish (for all you know, they are most likely not even going to notice that) because your brain is already exploding with all kinda muttered rubbish and you have forgetten what you wanted to say in the first place too.
members of this species have a tendency of repeating things which they have mentioned on previous occasions since they hardly bother to keep in mind what they are saying..

most of the times they do not even expect you to remember..which may be considered as a blessing to some.
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and with that, we come to an abrupt halt, because i have finished playing category-category..thankyou! *drumrolls in the background*

okay!!!!???!!!..soooooooo what are you waiting for??
you can get back to work...that's all for now!

tsk tsk!!
i mean like seriously, dont you guys have anything better to do??!!!!