December 24, 2010

end-year wishes...

cheers to a wonderful time this christmas, a very happy 2011 ahead and last but not the least, another whole new chance for us to get it right!! :)

December 23, 2010

along the shore of life...

building castles isn't easy...especially sand hope against hope for the wave to stay try and build it as far from the water as possible....but you also know that sand castles needs to be built on wet shores...thats when they turn out best!

as a kid, i loved building sand castles.i remember--every time i went to the beach, i never forgot to take my sandbox and shovel..i used to ask my dad for candy only so that i could use the stick as a small flagpost on top of the castle..

much to everybody's surprise that was the only time i hardly bothered about the candy...the castle was the one which hogged all the attention.

I also remember my mom observing the castle and saying that i'd make a fine was only years later when i joined med school, that she learnt never to jump to conclusions :p

but then the castles i built were just a sign..probably to say i would become something other than that too...something which was evident right from my childhood days...something which i was not by choice but by destiny----a dreamer!!

i recall building up those huge castles in the sand.nothing could break my enthusiasm.

i used to be so proud of myself when it stood there in all its glory...a complete dream house which i'd built with my very hands.

but soon a wave would come and wash my castle away and with tear filled eyes, i would gaze hard at the mess that stood in place of my beautiful creation.

i used to always carry the candy stick back home and much to my dad's irritation, place them in a huge wooden box i had as a reminder of all the sand castles i had built :) [for those who don't know my dad has an obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to cleanliness and according to him, i was and still am the agent through whom the germs gain entry into the house..sigh!]

anyways, i threw out the box years later only under emotional pressure by family after they realised that the termites held it as dear as i did..

that was way back when i was a kid.

today i still find myself building castles...the only difference being, these do not break...they do not crumble....they just melt away...disappear....shy away from all the other concerns which clutter up my mind..the waves are replaced by 'conflict'and the flag posts by 'memories'

and even today, i still carry the 'candy sticks' back home....the difference being, now i store them in a permanent place from where they will never leave--my heart! :)

December 22, 2010

the worst kinda hurt...

there is this old 19th century english saying "sticks and stones may break my bones..but words will never hurt me"
i have always wondered the scarcity of truth (for lack of a better word) in the above statement.

how many of us have been hurt by an unkind word said to us or about us?
im sure everyone at some point of time, have harboured this kind of hurt and truth be told, these are the wounds which we in reality hardly ever manage to forget.

physical injury may cause wounds which may take a long time to heal..but the void created by words hurled carelessly, might cause irreparable damage to emotions and hence to relationships and once the damage is done, no matter how much the attempt to fix it, the hurt will always remain.

the same with gossip--mere words exchanged to a third person about a particular second person who has perhaps taken you into confidence and shared something he/she considers sacrosanct or personal..
if only we would stop to think, even for just a minute, what we would feel if our secrets were leaked out in such a random careless fashion by a trusted someone!!
trust is the basis of all relationships..a few loose words, a few leaked secrets is all it takes to break that delicate bond which takes ages to build.

what is silence again, but a lack of words!!
ive seen relationships and frienships crumble to pieces due to lack of communication.
gone is the era when people used to relate love to understanding each other perfectly even in silence..
personally, i would be rather offended if im ignored or not spoken to..and the chances of me misinterpreting the silence as indifference or lack of chemistry is more.
it can be pretty killing---considering that the void it creates will eventually lead to the death of the relationship which thrive mainly on knowing and wanting to know each other more and more.
and hence, in that sense, i can never understand how two people who claim to care so much about each other have nothing to talk about, take comfort in each others silence..i guess those are just mere excuses for want of that extra space which usually is the outcome of fatigued interest.

in conclusion---words are a pretty dangerous weapon, more like a double edged sword---
just like they can reinforce and strengthen bonds, they can also cause damage when used in lack or excess..
just like they can heal a bruised spirit, they can also hurt when used wrongly or loosely.
just like they can they can communicate heartfelt emotions and create chemistry, they can also cause rifts and complicate the best of relations when misused.

and just like the right words may not be always remembered, the wrong ones may not be easily forgotten!!

rephrasing; "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can also hurt me"

so be careful with your words..even though they seem pretty harmless, you can never know who's heart they might be breaking!!

December 14, 2010


i often wonder about the stuff dreams are actually made of...
Are they a portrayal of our innermost desires--the ones that we label as sacrosanct and keep away from the outer world to a point where we learn to hide them even from ourselves?
or are they just remnants of an overactive imagination that is put to rest by the mundane life we live while we are awake?
half the times, i am not even able to recollect my dreams..and a majority of the other half, i am unable to interpret them...
i sometimes dream of places i have never visited in my life..sometimes, of people ive never seen..and yet , when i wake up, there is a feeling of familiarity asif made to go away from them with whom i am closely connected with---not just from a few hours of sleep but through ages of unspoken emotions churning within me..

yet everything lies in fragments which when i try to join, make a very complicated puzzle with a lot of missing pieces..
and i wonder---will i ever be able to complete that picture??
will i find those missing pieces in yet another dream??

sapnay toh sapnay...sapnon ka kya??!!