February 27, 2010

cryptic thoughts #1

My life has a tendency to complicate things which otherwise would have been simple, hence forever confusing not just me but also those who love me.....and the truth is its neither their fault nor mine..

i guess i was just born complicated!! :(

February 17, 2010

my story so far...

its been a while and i cant seem to find my way.
but hell, i am NOT lost.....because i BELIEVE that i am not! :-/


February 16, 2010

strangers once again

we met as two strangers..
and then as if destiny had it planned,
we became friends.......
the 'inseperable' types,
or so we thought....

we were both running......
you were chasing your dreams...
me?? i was following you,
just so that i never lost track.....

and then, one day you stopped....
you asked me what i was doing...
hurt, i told you i was running too...
relieved, you thought mine was a parallel road...
the two of us being fellow travellers,
in this journey which would end someday...
embarassed, i slowed down a bit,
hoping you would slow down too,
just to keep pace...
but you kept running...

i questioned my existence,
depending on you for all the answers...
but you gave me none...
so i rendered the questions wrong,
and kept running along,
just so that i never lost track...

we met as two strangers....
rested a while....
shared some friendly banter...
gradually becoming routine in each others life...
and then i saw you running towards that glow,
that monster called practicality,
which had always seemed to haunt me,
until you had come along....

and the more you ran,
the more i found myself losing pace...
you knew exactly where you were heading,
i had always been the directionless fool...
and then i saw practicality winning,
there was no place for me anymore...
hoping against hope, i asked you to slow down...
only to hear that i expected too much...
that day, i died a little more!

today, you are still running...
complaining its a busy life....
nothing has changed for you, you say...
im still waiting,
for what, i do not know...
perhaps for you to stop a while and take notice,
that i am way behind you now...
and you are still running!!

we met as two strangers....
and now we are strangers once again...
we, who cared more than strangers should...
we, who once shared everything...
we, who are now reduced to "nothing"....
rules and norms come into focus,
for strangers should not care....

and yet once in a while,
i know you will think of me,
as a stranger who kept running,
unaware of where she was heading,
just so that she could be with you!!

February 09, 2010

and thats the way it is!

analgesics can help one mask the pain but only for a while....some pains are chronic and then there is a point when you realise that the analgesics you have been popping are no longer effective enough.

the same holds true for self consolation.

some wounds can never heal with time..they just form neverhealing ulcers which worsen as the days go by.

the same holds true for hurt feelings.

some flowers can never lose their fragrance...even after they wither, they still remain pressed in a book reminding us of their scent everytime we turn the pages.

the same holds true for sweet memories.

some castles can never stay permanent..the ones built on the shore, no matter how beautiful eventually do get washed away by the waves.

the same holds true for special relationships.

some moments can never be forgotten...they just remain in our mind and are never erased from our heart, bringing a sweet sense of nostalgia flooding in everytime we think of them.

the same holds true for people we love.

"sach hain ki dil toh dukha hain,
humne magar yeh socha hain,
dil ko hain dard kyon,
ankh hain nam kyon,
hona hi tha jo hua hain........"

February 02, 2010

brutal reality--not for the weak hearted!!

There was a recent article on the times wherein Cyrus Broacha revealed his secret to happiness..
I couldn't help but smile at his 'I avoid people to stay happy' comment which was the first thing to catch my eye on the daily.
He says "for me, its not about the gender divide but a holistic thing, because i believe that men and women are different only in basic physical attributes.
All human beings are selfish, egoistic and cruel says political science writer Thomas Hobb .The only route to happiness is to avoid human beings.
We human beings have to live separately as possible to be happy..this is true of family, friends and work mates...........
My secret to happiness is keeping my contact to the minimum.as much as i stay away from people i remain happy.i dont have a mobile..im not computer savvy..i am not on any website..i live like a cave man.
tip--avoid having too many friends"

Although said in a lighter vein, i think he made some sense there.
but do we really have to resort to living like cave men and keep away from all social contacts in this pursuit of happiness?

In my opinion, a better idea would be making very superficial friendships..wherein u share nothing, feel nothing and stay nothing, thus maintaining the peace of mind and distance.
WTH!! you can still party with them--fine weather friends--cant u?? the only difference being you cant really rely on them for driving you home when you puke in their car..neither can you expect them to answer your emergency call at 4 am in the morning nor can you tell them to cancel important plans and come over when you are feeling low and in need of boost-talk to distract u off your misery.

So can u actually live without your friends??

They say "there are millions of people in the world.but in the end it all bottoms down to just one person"
I agree with this too..
hmmm...so then maybe we can improvise upon our idea---if our being happy or unhappy depends on that 'one' person, then maybe, as oposed to what cyrus said, we should stay away from only that one person instead of the million others...because we wouldn't care as much about the million others anyways..so they wouldnt make that much of a difference.
on the other hand, we tend to give full control to that one person who matters most to us.
we allow him/her to switch on or off our 'happy' button and half the times he/she isnt even aware of it.
one compliment from him/her keeps us glowing for hours together.
and one rude remark breaks our heart into a thousand pieces..
its strange isnt it?
we all have this 'one' person in our lives---in a friend who matter more than the rest, in that crush u never confronted, in that guy/girl who makes your heart skip that extra beat.
that same 'one' person who can rip your heart open, fling it on the floor and trample it thus screwing up your happiness for life.

so my crazy but reliable tip would be--keep contact to a minimal with that one special person who means the world to you...because he/she can mess up the very same world for you!
think about it?
---you are upset when they are upset (apart from being upset when there is something upsetting in your life..so basically going by the law of probability, it just means that you are upset almost all the time)
---you are hurt by something they say and vice versa.
---you tend to get hurt by something they dont say and vice versa.
so basically you are hurt almost all the time too..
---time spent with them is never enough.
---expectations keep rising at an alarming rate.
i admit there are those few glorious moments wherein you feel all loved and cared for.....but all that is not without your reputation, mental balance and peace of mind at stake.

But the dare devils that we are, will still risk it wont we?
Whats a little screwed up happiness in return for a dreamy 'happily ever after' ending, (which unfortunately no one realises, does not even exist in the first place) right?
the ungrateful creatures that we are, will still ditch our friends for that 'one' person..isn't it?
we will still make up excuses and defend that 'one' person in front of our family even if we know that he/she is dead wrong, wont we?
we will continue being miserable at the cost of dying a little everyday because of some random guy or girl who just walked into our life, became 'the one' and turned our world upside down.

seriously, from what i have seen, heard and known about love, it definitely feels overrated!

Seems like cupid has long been killed and replaced by his twin who is just an evil blond dwarf flying around in diapers cheating young hearts and having a good laugh at their expense.....