A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE---2008!!

Was thinking about the whole of 2008 last night...and it did leave me with a weird feeling...
somehow 2008 wasent sucha major milestone in the life of pri...nothing great really happened..nothing splendid took me by surprise..plain and boring or so i thought last night and went off to sleep on that depressing note..
and today morning, i just decided to take a memory trip down my blog to have a quick peep into the year gone by and to my surprise, it wasent thaat uneventful afterall...
there was 31st december 07 when i was anxiously waiting for 08 hoping and praying that it'd turn better...i remember the exact frame of mind when i keyed in this post to celebrate new year eve and also my 100th post anniversary...sigh! (needless to say my love for blogging has only grown)
then there was the time when i wondered about 'dejavu' and all u people helped me figure it out in your own special way...some left enlightened and some enlightened me...it was only somewhere late in 2008 that i actually experienced the feeling and yess that day, i went straight back to read that post and our comment-debate :)
there have been introspective moemnts like this and this and not to forget the day i penned this...

ohh and do u guys remember the 'sing-a-song' day when u guys got me all smiling with your dedications.. *throws kisses in the air*
and feb 14th?? do u guys remember when i took all of u by surprise with my 'valentine day secret' heehee...how i enjoyed playing that prank!!
while a few people dint take the curtainraiser joke too well, most enjoyed laughing with me at themselves :D
ohh and how could i leave out the 'male-bashing' spurt that went around blogsville...yea there was some female-bashing too..but we dont care to remember! :-/
and then we decided to be forgiving *points to the halo above her head*

Im not a staunch feminist but i do have my days...thats when i get all strong for womans lib...'international womans day 08' did trigger off this spark and got me reminding everyone that we rule!

i got myself into a little trouble too when some people who shouldent have been reading my blog got about reading this but in a way i was glad that they actually got to know what i think of them and were ashamed of themselves...some misunderstandings and wrong impressions which to my embarassment, did clear up in the process--which in a way again, was an added bonus :)

there was this time when i considered writing nursery rhymes...but then i gave up that idea considering a few parents plea...sigh! im soo sacrificial sometimes! :-/
2008 have seen a lotta blue days too on a personal as well as on a professional and ethical level...
some days had both...and then there were days i couldent figure out what was actually bothering me but was sure that something was....

but asif to strike a balance there were some those 'all gyaan' days too like
when i wrote a letter to myself 15 years back and when i lectured everyone else actually hoping to rub it off on myself (like here and here)
2008 made me quite a blog addict...to the extent that i not only shared my identity but also some of my secrets with u people...
and i have to thank you for making me a stronger person...ur advice, comments, reactions and experiences helped me mature as an individual...
there were fun days too when we played 'story-time' (almost every month) and then there was THE antakshari
There were times when i felt all loved and cared for and it left me beaming with pride to know that we have managed to build up a long and everlasting friendship despite all the miles between us...


needless to say there were issues which saddened me and infuriated me..and then there were those which left me helpless and wondering--questioning the existence of god and goodness...
i learnt a few things about myself too...how much i can love...how much i can hurt and how much i can stand before breaking down completely or emerging a stronger person....and in a strange sorta ironical way, i thank 2008 for that!!
there were some issues which were dealt with..some issues which were ignored and some which were put to rest...all in all, 2008 was just another year which changed just another bit of me----but like i always say, for better or for worse only time will tell!!

but one things for sure, one advantage of maintaining a blog is that u can have it all coming back to you when u want to...and now that im feeling weird, nostalgic, sad, wistful, happy, strong, bored and proud all at the same time, i think il'l better stop and take a turn right here on the memory lane...

so heres waiting in anticipation of tomorrow---in the hope of a new dawn bringing along with it a whole new world of joys, happiness, rekindled faith, realistic dreams and new memories to treasure all life through...

wish u all a very happy new year 2009!! :)

dont expect life to change--learn to deal with it!!

what is with this world? more importantly, whats with us??
have u noticed everyone is worried about something or the other....something or the other seems to be bothering us...
fat people wanting to lose weight...thin ones wanting to gain some...and then there are those who actively halucinate and sulk!
dark skinned people wishing for a fairer skin tone...fair skinned people yearning to get a tan....
someone worried about losing a job...someone yearning for a promotion....and yet someone dreaming of throwing a resignation letter in his bosses face and slamming the door behind him....
someone waiting to fall in love while someone else waiting to fall out of it....
someone nursing a broken heart while someone too afraid to go that way....
someone who has all the friends in the world and yet finds himself alone....
someone who is afraid to lose the only person who loves him....

each of us have our own fears...our own insecurities....
do u know how much time we are wasting in just being the insecure wretches we are?
what would i give for a lil more of that selfconfidence??
what would i give to get a lil more of that 'i dont give a damn' attitude??
do u find urself sighing after reading the above two questions....then yess! this post is all about you mate! :)

im not going to offer any ultra quick solution like those teleshopping ads (i know that this might just be sounding like one till now)...seriously, how i wish there could be an easy fix-it solution.....
looking into the mirror and screaming im beautiful wont help raise your confidence...in fact it might just make u notice that big ugly pimple which is about to erupt on ur nose.
the ONLY way to help yourself is stop and think...is it worth it??
why are we soo worried? why are we soo insecure?
what is it that is making us panic?
and can we actually do something about it??

ok if u can, then dont sit there fretting...get your lazy ass off the chair and do what it takes to be done!
but if there is no apparent solution, like for example a dream vacation to hawaii or maybe an unrequited love or maybe a long nose or something (u get the drift dont u?), then dont feel sorry for urself....
a dream vacation to hawaii is not something ul'l die without....so live with the fact atleast till the time u can buy urself a ticket..but for friggin sake, dont SULK---it never got anyone a free pass to haryana leave alone hawaii!!
an unrequited love hurts but not as much as a trampled selfrespect does...so dont CRY over it---let go!
a long nose is something uve had since a very long time and uve got to live with it (unless ofcourse ur desperate enough to go for a nosejob)...so take it in your stride...dont stoop to rude comments and pig mouths...atleast uve got people talking!!

learn to fall in love with yourself first...only then will people learn to respect you for what you are.....
having said all this, i know there will be still be untrasensitive days when a newly discovered zit on my face might bother me...the split ends in my hair might freak me out....i am human afterall!
and those are the days, il'l remember to come back and read this post of mine..sigh!
thankyou one and all! *takes a bow and walks off*

P.S: today is apparently one of those 'lecture-yourself-and-others-too-whether-they-like-it-or-not' days wherein whatever happens, i dont give a damn!
I HEREBY DECLARE THAT I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF MYSELF....AND I SWEAR I AM NOT SAYING THIS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ANY INTOXICATION!! :-/

to all u wonderful people....

here's wishing you a joyous christmas and a very happy new year 09!!

to someone of a few words from someone of too many....

I did not want to ever lose out on you...
I promised i would see to it that we would never have differences again...
I hated to admit that i was being juvenile, impulsive, overanalytical but i knew i was in the wrong...
I thought u considered me as much a friend as i did you..that u cared even when u were angry...but i dint realise that u were distancing out...
I expected you to remember the good times more than the bad just like i did...but i was wrong...
but now its asif, nothing matters!! (and yet strangely it always will)

i can never undo the hurt ive caused...try as i might, can never bring the good times back...
nor can i ever restore the friendship we shared in the start which seems not so long ago, yet feels likes ages...
im aware i can never change u back into the person u were to me...
the cold air of indifference will always loom above us...and now nothing i say or u say will or can ever make a difference...i can never forget how that one conversation made me feel....because it just made me hate myself for the way i made u feel!

In the beginning, i guess i spoke too much and i complained that u spoke too less...
and then there was a point where u spoke out everything---all that irritation, that disgust, that hatred u held in for me...and i could do nothing but burst into tears...
from that day, ive always feared words when it comes to you....
somewhere in between, you and i lost out...merely on the basis of a few words exchanged and misinterpreted...

and i guess everytime i speak, there always happens to be some sorta conflict either at your end or mine...some misunderstanding which now wudent be cleared (because im too afraid to ask)...some clarification which now wont be given (because uve long lost patience)...some more silence...some more pent up hurt...and a crumbling friendship...
and no amount of trying can help ressurect a relationship which has its foundation on unsteady ground...

this time my words have proved to be my worst enemy and since they are all ive ever had, it leaves me with no choice....
....
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and i give up!!

the 'what' tag!!

i am tagged by "adi" yet again---i seriously dont know if he has any other purpose in life than to scamper all over blogworld for tags and come to me with them :D
but thanks buddy, what would i do without u? esp during these 'bloggers block' phases that i come up with :)
so here goes...

1. What could be the 1 wish you will ask if a genie comes in front of you?
A: would ask for 3 more wishes :D

2. What could be the 1 period you would want to go in a time machine?
A: every period has its pro's and con's..i think il'l stick to the present.

3. What will be the 1 question you will ask if you happen to meet the captain of a UFO?
A: "what will it cost me to settle on your planet??"

4. What will be the 1 thing you would do if you are to go invisible for 1 minute?
A: scare someone by vanishing into thin air :p
what else can u do in ONLY 1 minute?? :(

5. What will be the 1 thing you do if you have 1 crore rupees rite now?
A: change my blog url to "lifeofpri-crorepati.blogspot.com" ;)
(cmonn! dont tell me u wanted one of those 'miss india' contest winner answers)

6. Who will be the 1 person with whom you would love to live life long, apart from your Parents, Partner, Bro or Sis ?
A: noone anymore

7. What is that 1 song which you always hum, without even sensing that you are humming it?
A: keeps changing..current one is 'ma sunao mujhe woh kahani' from jagjitji's album--CRY...its beautiful and dunno why, cant stop humming it :)

8. What is that 1 mannerism in you which can be easily noticed by others?
A: they say--if im not found talking, im found eating! :-/

9. What will be the 1 thing which you would want to take with you to your grave?
A: my body in one piece--with no part missing.. (i know this is a gory answer..but with all the bomb blasts going on, u can never be too sure)

10. What is that 1 habit of yours, which are trying hard to get rid off?
A: my impatient attitude

11. Who is that 1 person who deserves a tight slap from you rite now?
A: a senior doctor who's name should not be taken...

12. What is that 1 food item you will not say NO, anytime when offered?
A: chocolate (anytype..anywhere..anytime)

13. Who will be that 1 dead famous personality, whom you would want to come back alive?
A: i wouldent want to deliberately bring up the ghosts of the past..let them rest in peace!

14. Who is that 1 teacher, you would not forget anytime in your life?
A: miss shilpa sawant--from high school (for all the right reasons)
dr sahakari--from med school (for all the wrong ones)
[actually there are many more in both categories, but lets leave them for another time]

15. Who is that 1 friend, whom you are missing so much rite now?
A: u miss only those people who are far away from u...i hold all my friends close to my heart :)

16. What is that 1 thing you would do if you know your death date?
A: let the people i love, know how much i love them (ive done that a little less too often)
and if i have a lil more time at hand, complete writing my book and submit it to a publication house...

17. What is that 1 thing which you are planning to dispose for a long time and hasn’t done it yet?
A: getting my visa papers sorted..

18. Who will be that 1 famous personality, with whom you would badly want to date?
A: im not open to dating just as yet..so the FAMOUS personalities will have to wait! ;)

19. Who is that 1 person with whom you are madly in crush rite now ?
A: well as of now, NOONE!!

I TAG
-->lena
-->divz
-->chriz
-->blogboy
-->urv

the masquerade ball....

She met him again at a masquerade party...after all these years, yet again!!
even before he revealed himself, she knew it was him....the way he looked into her eyes from behind the mask to the way he swirled her around---everything just confirmed the gut feeling....
they spent the whole evening together...dancing to the music....and it felt just like old times....
the music stopped....everyone around her had taken their masks off...but he hadent!
she hoped he would say something...anything...but he had been silent all evening!
she just felt his presence around her...love was in the air again....little did she know that so was deceit..................just like before!

she wondered how to ask him...tell him that it was him she was waiting for....she felt a part of her wanting to let it go on believing that he had come back because it was meant to be...but another part wanted him to unmask himself...
as she saw the familiar figure returning with her drink, she mustered all her courage and walked upto him....

"u can take off your mask now" she said "i know it is you...i always did"
"i think uve mistaken me for someone else...im sorry but we are nothing but two perfect strangers in this masquerade world" the reply was almost instant...and with that he took off the mask and there stood someone she had never seen before in her life...
indeed they were two perfect strangers...in the faint glow of the ballroom standing face to face, she stood asif frozen...
she was speechless..shocked....how she could she have allowed her heart to believe what it wanted to.....yeah probably thats what she had done!
he walked surprised asif hit by something he had never seen coming...."she's weird" he muttered coldly to the host, pointing at her....

far away at the other end of the ballroom, a shadow dissapeared into the darkness of the night....smiling to himself that he had fooled her again.......it was a narrow escape---the mask was still on!!
the party continued..everyone waited till the end---except for two people...one left laughing and the other crying, both ironically for the same reason.....

my 'blog-oscar' moment!!

ok this one goes for all the awards awarded to me by u kind bloggers in the past (remote as well as recent) which i had shamelessly accepted and happily flaunted without due acknowledgement to you (u know me guys--always taking u ppl for granted!)

BUT NOT ANYMORE!!

*clears her throat and opens up her oscar-winning-speech*

ahem! today on this auspicious lucky retrospective ocassion, i would like to thank each and every blogger and non blogger who reads 'nostalgic moments'...
i would also want to thank those who comment on here to express their opinion...
Not to forget all those who shower and pamper me with words of praise and also those who help maintain a reality check with their sharp razor edge criticism...u guys help to strike a balance--making sure i dont drown too low nor fly too high!
i am also grateful to those ppl who inspite of not having their own blog, (adi, ur included in these.so dont crib!) take out the time to check on me almost everyday...
i want to thank those readers as well who come and read 'nostalgic moments' and silently go away after seeing the visitor counter and tracker stats :)
Last but not the least, i would thank all of you who emailed me in my short period of absence and told me i was being missed and not to forget those too, who understood that i must be having my reasons and did not press on it...
i like the fact that someone covers up for my laziness and lethargy like that--makes me feel important!! *wistfully closes her speech feeling all angelic*

ohh and the basic crux of the post---MY MOST RECENT AWARDS which im waiting to flaunt..so here they are---go die in envy!(if u havent already).heehahaha!

this one is by sam, a prolific blogger himself, i've had the pleasure of recently knowing...
though i havent read too much of him, i am pretty much impressed with what i have..
keep rocking! :)



this one is by the ever famous mayank...
the magic of his crystal maze (mayz) is known and much admired by all who know him...
His work reflects his personality and its quite clear that this is one guy who is in touch with his emotions...
sometimes dark in despair and sometimes full of hope, this is one person who wins it both ways and from his huge fan following, its quite obvious that this streak of his only adds to his charm..
cheers to you!


this one is awarded to me by alok..
a very fine photographer and an equally good writer...he is one who knows how to capture moments with his lens---a quality i could kill for!! (u'd understand only after u see my photography skills)
someone who is always full of wisdom quotes and who keeps dropping them at u whenever he has the chance...
sometimes makes me feel he is always with some philosophy book in hand whenever he is talking...but naah i guess ppl like him 'make up' philosophy..
when he is not rattling off some words by great men, he is usually conjuring up his own but hell! it is sure tough to tell the difference :)


this one is by lena--blogworlds very own sweetheart..
Her 'tuesday love ramblings' managed to melt even an ultracynical heart like mine...i hope to read her work published someday and lena, dont u dare forget the autographed copy u owe me then! ;)
she reflects hope, beauty and innocence with her magical words and i hope the flame of faith she has for love never simmers down..
its people like her that deserve to love and be loved...

i know i gotta pass on these awards...but then, there have been soo many times ive visited blogs of friends and seen people getting awarded and left dissapointed because i dint spot my name out there (ok! now this is going to be a secret which will die with u..hmpf!)
well,considering there are more crazy ppl like me out here, i dont want to add the same 'blue' to someones mood by awarding some and leaving out some (the only reason being my failing memory..effects of ageing u see..sigh!)
SO i want you to know that each of u is special in a unique sorta way...and the very fact that u take the time to share your views with all of us means u care and that to me, matters...matters a lot! :)
i know this line is cliched, but when it comes to people u care and love, there is no winning and losing...
just like there is no 'moving away' or 'leaving behind'...

and on that note, i announce my comeback from the short hiatus i was on...
keep smiling!
sometimes thats all that matters...

UPDATED:
this one is by urv
it is interpreted as follows (taken from the man himself)----
"Blogs that receive this award are 'exceeding charming'. This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY-nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement! Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated."
all i can say is that though we havent got a chance to know each other all that much, im sure the future has one more friendship stored in for me :)
and that would be in itsself a prize...
thanks a lot buddy!