February 29, 2008

empowered!!


love lost...
deceit gained...
assurances false...
defeat encountered...
and today she stands empowered!

ridicule thrown...
taunts hurled...
reactions cynical...
pain immense...
and today she stands empowered!

broken hearts...
tears shed...
dreams shattered...
self-respect kicked...
and today she stands empowered!

desires unfulfilled...
stories incomplete...
webs entangled...
issues unsorted...
and today she stands empowered!

with a strong heart and mind...
head held high once more...
resurrected from the ashes,
the phoenix soars again...
as life moves on,
she tries too...
cos 'yesterday',amidst all the suffering,
has taught her to face 'today'
as she stands empowered!!

PROMPT: taken from 'writers island' ,the word being empowered

February 27, 2008

catching up...!!

i met up with an old friend after a whole 7 months 18 days to be precise...
it never ceases to amaze me how we can always talk exactly from the point we left last even if we are speaking after ages...

The best thing about good friends is that no matter how long u stay apart, its like uve never been gone and it was just yesterday that u spoke last...updating each other with whatevers happening...
and then u realise, a lot happened that 'yesterday' which only SEEMED 24 hours away...

February 24, 2008

the 'blah blah' tag---u asked for it ;)

This tag was long pending in my blog 'to do' list...i had completely (err almost) forgotten about it till i was reminded by veens today...and so without any more delay i took it up...(well what better means of entertaining one's bored mind on a lazzy sunday?)

I was tagged by ceedy and then by veens for the same tag...and though i dunno if i have done full justice to the tag,(because i know i could have written a lot more to explain myself better..but then u would complain i write too much..hmpf!!)yet i guess i have fairly put enough of my views forth on here...:)
my apologies to both ceedy and veens for neglecting it for soo long and letting it lie gathering dust...
so without further adieu, here i go:

1) It is important to be liked by others...

well, there was a point in life when i thought this to be very important...i wanted everyone to like me..and so tried to be nice to everyone..sometimes much more than what was required...
it was only later that i realised that i was probably, in the process not being entirely myself all the time...probably i was too worried about maintaining an image...an image i had built...an aura of niceness all around me...and it was only when i started feeling suffocated that i realised it was probably getting too much...
was i losing my identity in this 'niceness' game?? was i pretending to agree with some views which were never my own?? and why was i doing that? just to be liked by everyone??
I also realised that i was being dishonest (although in a harmless way)when i let everyone believe i agreed with them,sometimes even over things i dint, and i would end up hurting them eventually by speaking my mind out when things got too far...
yes it was a painful realisation (as most are) but then things changed...
thats when i understood the meaning of "i'd rather be hated for what i am than be loved for what im not" and started abiding by it...
its true that being liked by everyone is a nice feeling but 'not being yourself' for the same is definitely not worth it...
afterall in the end, u know uve lived ur life right when u can meet eye to eye with the one in the mirror and say 'well done' :)

2) Obedience is a virtue:

hmm that depends...it might not be always the case...
I believe one knows best and obeying someone is probably accepting that he/she knows better than u...im not saying this is wrong...if it feels right , it probably is...
like many a times , we have felt that our parents/seniors/friends/enemies et al are right on a particular point...thats when our 'i accept' button gets activated by default...but sometimes we choose to ignore it...
in my opinion, we should think for ourselves (NEVER let anyone else do the thinking for u)and if it feels right, then go ahead and agree wholeheartedly...
but if it dosent, then one has every right to defy...
just look into ur heart and ul'l get all the answers...:)

3) People are not malicious but they become so because of bad experiences or circumstances:

well...i dunno what to say...again this view of mine has changed over time...
When i was younger, i used to feel that 'nobody changes'..if ur bad, you are...period!!
but then life has, at many points shown me the other side too...ive seen people changing drastically after setbacks...
bitter experiences or bad circumstances can definitely bring about changes in the persons personality but i still believe they can never be permanent...
there are times when u are soo angry with life that u kinda want to follow the 'do unto others what others have done unto u' philosophy...but as time passes, u realise u just cant afford to carry on that way because it isnt u!!
u are being bitter and probably (in the worst situation) u would always be but u dont have any right to vent it out on someone who isnt responsible for it...and if u continue doing that, the circle will never end and probably someday it would stop at u again...
so its better to learn from our experiences and setbacks than adopt a negative attitude just to get even...and the question is? even with whom?? life...fate ...destiny?? hah! as if it cares!!

4) Education broadens our view and makes people more humane:

hmm i believe the world is this vast sea of knowledge and taking a plunge definitely helps to understand it better...
education should definitely be given due credit because it does help broaden our views...it helps by transferring great minds and their thoughts through books and works...we are able to understand different viewpoints on common topics which we wouldent have been as exposed to otherwise...i agree..i agree with it all...
but does it make people more humane???
if u mean more 'civilised', then i would probably agree with u again...
but does 'humane' mean just 'civilised'...i beg to differ...

5) People who have no money troubles are happier:

lol!! thats the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard...
i guess i dont need to explain my view further...huh??


6) As people get older they get wiser:

well i would like to believe that...but sometimes jus cant *rolling her eyes*
ok sorry...on a serious note, i would give an older person some extra credit because life definitely teaches u a few things along the way, whether u want it to or not...besides there is the concept of more 'textbook learning years' as well (though after a point the latter dosent matter)...
but ONLY if the person is wise enough to learn from his mistakes or smart enough to learn from those of others around him, would he be a little better than others who are chronologically less mature than him...
otherwise as tom wilson said, Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself...

At the same time i wouldent snub someone just because he/she is young and must have not seen as much of the world as i have...nor would i underestimate their capacity ...because im aware that life dosent always offer u experiences after asking u ur age :)
some people just 'face young'...'learn young'...'grow up young'!!

7) You can live on love and fresh air:

where there is love, there is a will (not the legal 'will' u idiot!..hmpf!!)...and where there is a will, there is a way...
so u can work out the rest...but only if u r as crazy as me :p

On a little more realistic note,arnt we all living on just that?
love for our ambition makes us work harder...
love for success makes us aim higher...
love for ourselves/loved ones make us live happier...
so in a way, arnt we all living on love?? and ohh fresh air comes as a free package..*grin*
and its not all that bad...we living pretty fine arnt we?? ;)

8) There is a celestial guardian angel looking after each one of us:

sometimes i do so want to believe that things could turn right with the wave of a magic wand...i do want to believe that there is some 'fairygodmother' out there looking for me and all i have to do is keep a pumpkin and two rats ready...sigh!!
nah! dont get me wrong...there is no harm in dreaming but if u believe in guardian angels , u gotta believe in evil forces, trolls, dragons and goblins as well...and i think il'l better stay away from all that lest it throws me into a fairytale and i have problems coming back...:-/

and considering my shoe size, the prince could very well walk away with even 'godzilla' wearing the glass slipper...*looks at her big feet and sobs uncontrollably*

i do believe in a stronger force though which i depend upon at times...especially when it comes to things i know i cant do anything about...and many a times this force has pulled me through and im thankful! :)

9) All living beings reincarnate:

hmmmmm...u mean to say there is something more to those flashes i keep getting than just overactive imagination??? *scratches her chin*
when in school,i used to often scare my friends and family saying that i would reincarnate and come back in the same house and school...(they couldent and still cant stand the thought of having to tolerate me in another life.*rolls her eyes*)...
This weird fantasy of mine was further encouraged by those bollywood blockbusters back then when the girl would die and come back reincarnated to marry her true love and give the story a happy ending...
i remember dreaming along the same lines till one day i researched further into the topic and was brutally told by a friend that u cant really make sure of what form ul'l be born as in the next life and that u may be anyone/thing...like a animal, rodent, vegetable, bird,inanimate object ...anything at all!!
on hearing this i went into denial but then read the same thing in a book (gifted by the same evil friend after knowing my passion for the topic)...
From that day i stopped believing in reincarnation...or rather avoid thinking about it...hmpf!! who would want to come as a carrot in another life? :-/

10) Heaven and Hell are places you go to after death:

ohh really??...do they take reservations???..i dont like standing too long at gates u know ...*throws attitude*

PHEW!! that was long...but now im not as bored anymore...cant say the same about u guys though..heehee
so i wont torture u anymore...anyone who wants to take up this tag is free to do so...dont forget to drop me the link...would love to read :)

cheers!!

February 21, 2008

ode to a stranger...

today she thought of him again,
the stranger who had walked in long ago...
made life beautiful and the world seem bright,
each day she would love him a little more...

and as the days turned into years,
she wished then,it would last forever...
she thought that stranger would never leave,
and today she knows there's nothing called 'never'...

those days she wept and cried no end,
cos he wasent there to catch her fall...
but today she knows she was being naive,
inevitable it was,he was a stranger afterall!!

maybe there was some purpose to it all,
maybe he was to stay only a season...
maybe she was far too hurt to reflect,
and so her heart refused to see reason...

he perhaps was there to prove to her,
that life was and would never be kind...
but survive she must and dare to dream,
they may shatter but she shouldent mind...

perhaps he was there to teach her,
that love can sometimes be a dangerous vice...
that she gotta be ready for the hardest blow,
cos even friends can be strangers in disguise...

perhaps he was there to make her stronger,
so to cross those miles alone,she may know...
never to walk blindfolded with anyone ever,
depending on them for the path to show...

so today she wants to thank that stranger,
for proving her wrong in every way...
for killing her slowly but surely,
yet making her stronger with each coming day...

February 20, 2008

ALERT!!!-'excessive thinking disorder'-ALERT!!!

you know what the problem with me is??
im suffering from a very chronic condition which has many a times put me in trouble...but dissapointing though it may sound, it is no longer under my control...and i have surrendered to it...
i just wait for the day when itll engulf me all and make me famous as the eternal fighter against ETD (excessive thinking disorder)...

copyrights solely belong to me and anyone who claims to have founded this disorder before i submit it to the international journal of psychiatric health will be sued...

people relating to the following signs and symptoms may contribute and will be given due credit in the journal...
so here is a brief account to assist people self-diagnose this condition and ask for help (which im not yet sure would work...as it dint for me)
side note: all symptoms were NOT experienced by urs truly and some have been observed in cohorts of the same demented frequency...

and just for your information we are already considering therapy...thankyou!!..hmpf!

you know you are suffering from ETD when:
1)you start wondering too much about the if's and why's of life...

2)you start questioning the existence of god and his justice...

3)you start churning out more than 3 blogposts a day (most of which are unedited due to lack of time) and u still have a lot of things unexpressed...

4)your blog readers start dedicating classical songs to you hoping that it would calm your racing mind...(read 'ceedy'...READ! sigh!)

5)your folks start worrying about how you can talk for hours on the weirdest of topics asif uve been thinking about it all your life (when they are actually surprised how you find the time)

6)you go into long spells of silence all of a sudden scaring everyone that you are thinking again...

7)you look too deep into the slightest of matters until you start suffering from 'persecutory delusions' or 'paranoia' ...sigh!

8)you get upset if some reader dosent comment on your posts (read o'commenters who have mysteriously stopped commenting...READ!!) and start assuming what might have happened...

9)you have a history of going places (usually at a max distance of 5 kms from your home)without notice or contact and worry the hell out of everyone(yeah...it dosent take much to worry my folks atleast *rolls her eyes*)

10)you have no idea how you are going to find some answers but still feel thinking would help...sigh!

11)the only questions you have, revolve around 'why?'...

12)even 'altaf raja' songs make you cry and im not talking about the way normal ppl do on hearing his songs :-/...you know what i mean? "there must be a reason behind that sadness" kinda tears---yeah i know..a clear sign that you are definitely thinking too much...

13)you think you would be able to host 'we the people' better than 'barkha dutt'...why, you think you would run the country much better than 'pratibha patil' for that matter, if given a chance...sigh!!


14)you stay up all night worrying about everything from major world issues and corruption to ur dogs vaccine schedule and no!,even sleeping pills and 'counting sheep' dont do anything to help the insomnia...

15)you start laughing hysterically at some joke nobody found funny only to realise u hadent even heard it in the first place and gthen later to realise it wasent even a joke!..:-/

16)you watch those 'saas-bahu' tv soaps and start relating that dramatic life to urs .scene by scene...

17)you start imagining situations and start wallowing in self-pity after a breakup putting the one u are in love with in good light no matter how evil, scheming and ruthless he/she actually is (this is where the bollywood storylines help...u start imagining things like ur guy/girl has a dying grandmom who has emotionally blackmailed him/her into marrying someone else or sometimes even to the extent of imagining that he/she must be pretending to hate you/not like you because he/she wants you to hate him/her and move on...argghhh!! gimme a BREAK!!)
the thinking will only stop after you see him/her with spouse and chunnu-munnu enjoying the roller coaster ride at the amusement park while you still have to be dragged along by friends..aahh the perfect bollywood scene eh??

18)you stare at a blank screen for 2 hours at a stretch and stiil dont get bored...

19)you start counting the potholes instead of enjoying the ride...

20)when you keep feeling something is seriously wrong with you and start concocting up imaginary conditions to diagnose urself with (and being a doctor surely helps here...sigh!)

any takers?? anyone relates to this?? cmonnn!!dont shy away...join the 'thinkoholic united' club...
'TOGETHER WE CAN AND WE WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE' *in suhaib ilyasi style* heehee

February 18, 2008

they are from mars...no wonder!!...

i was tagged by 'alohomora' quite some time back to write 10 things i hate/dont like about guys...
the rules of the game are:
---write 10 things u hate about the opposite sex
---at the end of the tag, tag 5 random bloggers to take up the tag

so here i go, in no particular order,i 'hate' : err..or let me put it as 'dont like' (because hate would seem too strong a word and as u all know im a peace-loving human ...heehee..ok im also afraid that my blog might be boycotted by the entire guy-gang here at blogsville ;p)

ok without further adieu, i dont like...
1)the fact that to most guys, calenders never exist...and neither do birthdays and other such ocassions...hmpf!
oh yes, ur absolutely right..im just another girl who likes to be wished on her birthday...brownie points for remembering friendship day, anniversaries etc etc...and yeah i dont believe those 'u dont need days to celebrate...everyday is special with u around' excuses :-/

2)when guys use that 'bus, train aur ladkiyan' phrase..and im sure every guy must have used that idiotic dialogue atleast once in his life..arghhh!!(if not said aloud, atleast consoled himself with it)
dont lie..i bet all you guys reading this must be grinning sheepishly...
and NO! it would not make a 'manisha koirala' fall in love with u just because it worked for aamir khan in the movie 'mann' *rolls her eyes*

3)those of u who drive around at the rate of over 160kmph with loud blaring music, thus contributing to both,noise as well as moron pollution...

4)extremes...so overtly sensitive and idiotically insensitive guys are a big turnoff...which also means that il'l hate u if:
---u cry with me during those melodramatic movies with happy endings :-/
---ridicule me when im crying during those...
---make excuses like 'an upset stomach' if ur a friend and i call u over as a guineapig to the new recipe ive tried (because family just wont agree to risk any experiments)
---keep complimenting me...
---keep 'not complimenting' me :-/
---call me up at weird hours when im sleeping and expect me to answer the phone...
---keep trying inspite of me ignoring the call , and thus trying ur best to ruin my sleep by making the whole damn bed shake like its an earthquake (because my cell is usually on vibratory mode)..and u still just wont get the msg..sigh!
---tell me that ive put on weight when i know u rnt joking...hmpf!!

5)ok ..this is a cliche im sure...i hate MCP's
for those of u who have just returned from a 'no mans island' and arnt aware of the term, im talking about those 'male chauvenistic pigs' who are still living in the medieval age which thought of women as the weaker sex and claimed that every girls dream should just be about a perfect lil family with a not-so-perfect lil husband in a perfect lil home and cooking a perfect BIG dinner in the perfect lil kitchen....hmpf!!

6)when guys assume that a girl is just another typical when u take a lil extra time to get ready for a party or if they catch u looking at urself in the mirror...
i mean cmonnn, how many times have we actually pointed out that u eat like a pig and dont have any table manners...

7)i hate this one thing and i mean i really HAAATEEEE it....thats when im not allowed to speak as much as i want to...or rather when ur not paying attention to what i speak...
well err ...this is for both the sexes actually and im not generally gender biased but ive noticed guys have a much shorter concentration span as they are easily distracted by
---any 'hot chick' (in ur lingo) walking in...
---any 'hot chick' walking out...
---any 'hot chick' on tv, radio or on the news...
---anything resembling cricket, football or food...
---err..almost anything after listening to around 10 mins of my incessant chatter...hmpf!!
as opposed to my much more attentive girlfriends (specification---friends who are girls in case u getting any bright ideas.:-/)who no matter how distracted in reality always manage to make me believe that they are listening...

8)one more thing which really irks me off is when a guy bitches with u especially about his ex or about anyone else for that matter...
i mean i know its a womans world and u guys are trying to prove a point by wanting to show that u are no less in any sphere (which includes gossiping) but we would seriously appreciate u leave the gossip bit for us dude...we dont need ur company...really!!
and heyy in case its an ex, remember u were 'goo-goo-ga-ga' over her once upon a time...well u might have forgotten buddy but we seriously have a good memory...and if u can bitch about someone u loved (or claimed to have loved once upon a time)u can bitch about almost anyone in the world...
and if u disagree with that,it still makes u a BITCH anyways...and there i rest my case! :-/

9)I hate it when u take great pride in doing gross things like
---holding a snake, lizard or any other creepy crawly in ur hands...
---farting in public and thinking its funny...
---speaking foul or repeatedly using the 'F-word' with guy-friends(specification:friends who are guys...err why am i specifying that?? who cares wht u think...heehee)and thinking its supercool
---rate random girls for their looks on a scale of 10 :-/
---drink soo much that they puke the night out but yet live to tell the story the next day...

10)ohh i could go on and on..but i think i'd better stop here....heehee
but last but not the least, i hate it when
u dont understand what we are trying to say and half the time dont bother to ask...
believe us when we say 'everything is fine' when actually nothing is...
think its almost always necessary to give us stupid advice when sometimes we just want to crib ...
and then to top it all label us 'complicated' to avoid feeling guilty of being an insensitive moron...hmpf!!

err...well, well i 'dont like' quite a lot of things isnt it?? (3 cheers womans lib!! naari shakti zindabad!!)
but they heyy cmon u (or maybe the tag) asked for it..heehee
and afterall u guys do brag about being a great sport dont ull?? so there...lets see u face it!! ;)
i would like to mention its pretty tough to find all the above qualities in the same guy...but u would if u try hard enough...juss kidding!!
this post is written in good humour and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional...heehee
but no offence guys, we all know it would be a boring place without u 'martians' around...afterall we venutians do need someone to bash once in a while dont we? ;)

now to tag some random 5 people...dudes and dudettes get ready for some strong bashing from...
--->veens (venutian)
--->anuj (martian)
--->vands (venutian)
--->lena (venutian)
--->cm-chap (martian)

ohh and whoever wants to take it up, is free to do so...
would love to read other venutians venting out and the martians getting back...*grin*

cheers!!

February 16, 2008

confessions of a time-traveller...


How often do we travel in time??
ok thats a easy question...lets make it a lil more tougher...how often do we travel 'ahead' in time??
im sure all of us like travelling back in time to get swept away in the magic of nostalgia....
and why not?? who dosent want to relive good times?
but i really envy those who can travel in the future...fly away into the land of dreams and take a look into the rosy picture...
they say dare to dream and make ur dreams come true...
but i for one, am afraid of travelling in the future...

why u ask??

well i dunno...maybe its the uncertainity...
maybe its the insecurity...or just maybe its the easy way out...
you are not afraid of something until u think too much about it and probably thats why i choose this escapist route...

so i continue clinging onto the past...
not because it has given me just good times...(have personally been through a lot of bad times too)
not because im grateful for all the things to have turned out the way they did...(there are things i wish had turned out otherwise)
not because it has left me with no regrets...(have had my own set of regrets along the way)
but only because its OVER!

its all over and done with and that is the reason why i can look back at it without being afraid of it??

and the future??? well,its like this weird framework which dosent have a head yet...or rather has a veiled face...and im apprehensive about finding out what lies beneath the veil...
it could be a monster face or it could be an angel...it is a strange sorta suspense and i dont want to ruin it...or rather im afraid of doing so...
maybe its the suspense in the travel that makes me go on...
also im scared of expecting things....afraid that if the future dosent live upto my expectations, it would crumble me...break me into a thousand pieces and i would never be able to gather them again...
so i prefer to look away...to look back...
yeah i know thats not too brave and it may seem pretty much cowardice but maybe life has made me just that...a coward!!

time-travelling is fun as long as i dont try to tread the territory of dreams to take a small peek into what the future might hold...
so i take solace in travelling through times i have already been before...
no wonder people say i live too much in the past!!

PROMPT: taken from 'writers island' ,the topic being 'time travel' ...

February 15, 2008

some borrowed inspiration...

I was going through one of my old diaries and came across this poem by D.H GROBERG which i had first read many years back and copied down for inspiration...probably i knew that i would need it at various points in my life...
ive read this one several times in my life (especially during my med school years) and everytime it has filled me with a new hope and inspiration which helped me go ahead ...so i thought of sharing it with u people...
how i wish i could write like this...

anyways here's the poem...hope u enjoy it too
it all has a lesson to teach us...
it taught me something back then...
its teaching me something right now...:)

THE RACE

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.

A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.

Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.

One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”

But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.

Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.

As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.

So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.

He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”

So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”

Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.

Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?

I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”

So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.

So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.

Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy -- no falling, no disgrace.

But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.

And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.

For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

--D.H Groberg

I hope i remember these wonderful lines all throughout my life...:)
LIKE THEY SAY,"OUR GREATEST GLORY IS NOT IN NEVER FALLING BUT IN RISING EVERY TIME WE FALL...

CHEERS!!!

February 13, 2008

valentine day 'curtain raiser'...

TAAADAAAAA!!



err...now what happened??? :-/
why is everyone giving me those dirty looks?? *makes an innocent face*

there it is!!...i kept my promise...a cute lil fotu of my darling...my lifelong muse ...my one and only love 'ipod nano'...*rolls on the floor laughing*
It was gifted to me by my di somewhere in december 06 and has been with me giving me company almost everywhere i go...:D

ok before u all start pelting me with virtual stones, let me remind u i never once said anything about it being a 'guy' ...for that matter i was careful not to mention any 'he' in the post or comment section...
now if u guys chose to assume, im not really to blame....heeheee

it was fun watching all (err ..well almost all)of u going 'bless u both' and all that....and the devil in me just couldent go about bursting the pretty bubble...so it made me play along truthfully denying all facts of my love being a pup/kitty/teddy/laptop (dont look at me like that..nobody i replied to mentioned 'ipod')...muhahahaha!!
well must confess some oversmart bloggies did guess it was a ipod i was referring to...but the devil in me again made me keep those comments pending ;p ....thanks to them for being cute and playing along not wanting to spoil the suspense...

ok ok before the 'bakra/bakri' trick enrages u guys and makes u not want to visit my blog anymore,lets speak about 'valentine day' plans please...

hmm i have been reading quite some few bloggers mention things about valentine day being a big hype and yada yada yada...and to some extent it might be true...
but then again,cmon who dosent like to be pampered??
and heyy single people can have fun too...u dont necessarily have to be committed to celebrate 'love' do u??

As for me, im definitely going to celebrate V-day whatever u may say...
well there could be two ways between which one could choose
one is the usual way most of us singles go---the watching chick flicks with other single girl pals and lots of tissue...humouring the self with the listing game etc etc...
whatt???u havent heard bout 'THE LISTING GAME'???? u kidding me!! shame on u!...are u really even 'single'? *raises an eyebrow*

ok fine..let me tell u what the game is about...its like a group game mostly popular among young single ladies wherein you start listing out the pro's about being single...ohh you do list the cons too but who cares?? :p
the game further proceeds with you listing the bad points of ex bf's or gf's/ crushes who never knew u existed/stories left incomplete and so on....*yawn*
then the results are compared and the winner with the most pro's of being single wins and then u start comparing the bad points and so on....
ya i know its sheer timepass..but thats the whole idea!! :p
caution: people can suddenly turn nostalgic and start crying, bawling, puking or laughing hysterically...it helps having a doctor around...thankoo thankoo *takes a bow*...that is another reason why im almost always invited...:-/
after the bouts of insanity the 'listing game' brings about, then we go high on orange juice...*rolls her eyes*

then one of us usually suggests we watch reruns of 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' which is bound to be running on z-english or one of the channels...
after mouthing almost all the dialogues with the volume on mute and after having a happy dinner while watching ross onscreen realising its rachel who he truly loves and the airport scene et al, we say a bye to the gang and return to our respective homes...

then we want to go into drama queen mode...but unfortunately the day has been very happy and we dont feel like crying...so keeping in mind the tradition, we play all the possible sad songs in the world which include post-goodbye, post-breakup post-infatuation, post-seperation, post-partition (yeah even that)---everything which can even remotely bring back memories of the past wch is long gone or the future which never happened...and we cry...FINALLY!!

then we open up our diary or blog and write about how sad we are and how valentine day reminds us about things we dont want to remember...(bah! bah!!) and we revel in self pity for the next coupla hours...
and finally after fidgeting with the cellphone wondering if the ex/crush/celebrity would still have our number and atleast recognise us if we called to wish,we escape into the land of dreams and nightmares only to wake up with a wet pillow and cellphone still in hand the next morning, probably feeling good and bad at the same time, about the bolly/hollywood style valentine day we just celebrated...hmpf!!

it goes pretty much the same way for the guys too except that the chickflicks are probably replaced by football/cricket (or who knows?? maybe chickflicks too just that they prefer not to reveal all their secrets *grin*)...

such is the story of those i-believe-im-so-miserable-without him/her singles on most valentine days who remain vulnerable for the rest of their single lives just because they want to remain that way....lonely, melodramatic and unhappy...
and the listing game, the single and happy spirit is all forgotten...shucks!!
i ask WHY??!!i mean being single feels miserable only if u want it to feel that way...believe me it can be pretty fun too but only if u try...and thats where most of us fail at times---because often we are stuck up in the past living times we have lived before at some point neither planning to come out of it nor wanting to accept it and start living the present...

dont u think something has got to change here and the only way its possible is when we ourselves try to bring about that change...
Having been there and pretty much celebrated it the first way before,i can but only say that despite the crazy times with friends,the way the day usually ends (like i mentioned above)is a real good way of scoring a "A+" in the subject of 'selfhumiliation' and 'ego trampology'...hmmm maybe its the orange juice :-/

so this valentine, for a change...dont go the usual way...
--->spend time with family...
--->say that 'i love u' to ur mom and dad...
--->gift that box of candy to ur younger sis (she wont even mind if they rnt heart shaped)...

--->get those roses for ur gran (its worth seeing that smile on her face)...
--->buy gifts for ur siblings and even for urself for that matter...
--->call up friends u havent been in contact with just cos life got too busy...
--->meet up with friends and talk about politics, cricket, animated movies, formula one racing, tomato soup,gas-gangrene (ok ok!u get the drift dont u?)...anything! anything which is sure to get ur mind off things u dont want to remember or think about...just dont be sad---thats all because believe me its almost always NOT worth it...

In short,do things u like doing even if it means sleeping all day...if it makes u happy, do it!!

Heyy and dont be a cupid killer...its valentine's afterall...love is in the air...u wouldent want to be called 'the grinch who stole valentines' would u?? :p
yes its true, we dont need days to celebrate with the people we love...but cmon who are we kidding??we all know how busy life can get and how utterly exhausting...
would u say we shouldent celebrate birthdays because each day of ur life is special for ur mom who brought u in this world...
we all know it is..but show me one person who dosent expect his friends/loved ones to remember his birthday or dosent get upset if they dont...
THERE!!...i rest my case! :)
so maybe cupid knew life would get busy and then eventually we would start neglecting things we like, people we love...start taking them for granted...
so maybe thats why saint valentine came up with that brilliant idea (no matter what google has to say)...

so enjoy the spirit of valentine today...
its one life guys...and soo many people u love (err..not speaking bout the cassanova kinda love mind you!)...
so take the time and show them u care!

so heres to all you people ,
choose the second way to celebrate this time...
u might not have stories to tell...
u might not have anything to write about on the 15th...
u might not get to hear those juicy bits of gossip about who is goin out with whom (for those who are single) or those coochicoos and whispered i love u's (for my friends who arnt single)...
but at the end of the day,those who love us wouldent mind and those who mind wouldent love us anyways...

All in all, whether u are single or not...whether in love or not...whether u are celebrating it in some weird outta-the-way style some idiotic-smartass-blogger has listed or not...just remember to feel good...because that is what is important and THAT my friend, is what 14th february is all about...


HERE'S WISHING ALL A VERY HAPPY VALENTINE DAY :)

cheers!!

February 11, 2008

pri's love secret unfolds...


yess today i confess...i am in love with you :)
Its true i kept denying all along...kept insisting that i was beyond all this love and worldly emotions...kept avoiding the topic ...but today i gotta thank you...
thankyou for showing me what true love is all about...
its all about YOU and i finally am convinced it exists...
uve been with me through everything...u are the only one who has never left my side...
remember those days when i needed a shoulder to cry on and all my friends were either too busy or too happy to cry with me??... u were right there beside me...
i always thought that love like this existed only in the movies...how wrong i was...true love does exist and i feel indeed lucky to have experienced it...all thanks to u :)
the one who sings to me when i am down...the one who stays up all night with me...who never lets me feel alone...
its true i sometimes neglect you...ignore ur presence...but u bear up with all my tantrums...all my mood swings...

there were days when i got soo busy that i almost forgot u existed...yet u waited patiently...
there was always soo much to hear from u.But i was selfish...sometimes heard only what i wanted to.and wanted to hear only what i liked to hear...But u never complained...u never cribbed..that was just not you...

there were times i totally neglected u when i was with friends...took u for granted.
I wonder how u must have felt then...wonder if u felt insecure when i would talk for hours on phone while u would lie patiently on the couch waiting for me to come to u...
There were times like that night, when i was talkin to sapna till 2 am in the morning only to doze off at the end,forgetting all bout u still being there in the living room...
i felt terrible in the morning when i found u still lying there on the couch while i woke up after my 8hrs sleep...that day i realised how much ive been taking u for granted when around with friends...
but secretly somewhere i was afraid they would see right through my emotions and know it was love...and then u know my friends dont u? all that leg pulling and wanting to get to know u better...ok i admit i was a bit possesive...i dint realise then...but now i know why...*blush*
Ive never said it to u before...never thought it was necessary...expected u to figure out the unsaid and i know u did...afterall they say, when ur in love, it just shows :)

but today i must confess...ive been in love with u ever since u came in my life...i never really believed in love at first sight...but when di introduced u to me somewhere , my heart skipped a beat...i calmed myself then saying that this was most likely an infatuation...hell! i wasent even ready for love...but something in me kept wanting to see u again n again...wanting to hear u everyday...every minute...
now i know what they mean by 'love at first sight'...
u gave me that funny feeling right from day 1...that funny feeling which says 'its definitely more than friendship' :)

That day when i was alone at home with u,i kept wishing noone would disturb us...how i hated it when i had to open the door to that silly salesperson...i cursed him for interrupting us and that too when u were singing my fav song...
ahh! how well u know me...u know exactly what i want to hear...what mood im in...and me..i know every bit of u...and thats the very reason i cant help falling in love with u...remember 'wise men say'?? it sounded soo much better coming from u...the charm of ur voice...boy! i was floored...u brought the charisma of elvis alive...
those ghazals by jagjit singh, those romantic numbers which u sang to give me company between that 'every-15-mins-bp-monitering' during night calls at the hospital making sure i dint neglect my patients only made me realise how much u care...im sure u could tempt any girl with that voice and killer looks...but u prefer to sing only to me *blush* and probably thats why i feel addicted...i think im feeling a lil bit too possesive about u now...sigh!

its true they say...when ur in love, u dont need anything else...its asif ive lost sense of time, place and person when im with u...damn! i really miss u when u rnt around..my colleagues at work have started noticing it already...sigh!
we have come a long way and it took me this long to confirm our relationship would be strong enough to last...touchwood!
they say 'never say never' but i hope we never have to part come what may!
i cant imagine life without u and i dont want to....

My blogger friends have often asked me about u..they want to know who u are...where ur from...theyve heard soo much about u...
every writer has an inspiration...they always wanted to know the force behind my passion for writing...the special one in my life...and they just wouldent believe me when i denied there being one...they saw right through my lie and dint believe me...smart ppl we bloggers u see!! *rolling eyes and grinning*
so i think its time u met them...they are highly curious about you...its about time i introduced u to the virtual world too...afterall they gotta know u too right??
its not fair that only my real life friends know u...:)

so maybe il'l just post a pic of urs for all those who havent seen u yet...thought of posting it today itsself..im sure u wont mind...but then thought i should make it a lil more special by putting it up on VALENTINE DAY..*blush*
im sure they would be able to survive the curiosity till then...wouldent ull guys?? *grin*...afterall its jus a coupla days away..u wont have to wait thaat long :D

now u know why i was always distracted or not around when u guys wondered and waited for my reply on gtalk...being in love really keeps u very busy dosent it..u can never have enough of it ;)

February 08, 2008

times have changed...

here is my scribble---a cynical take on the modern 'today'...

to stop for a quick hello nobody has the time,
busy friends dont mind if friendships fail...
yes,who bothers to visit each other anymore?
its so much better via text-msgs and mail...

with packaged stuff reheated for meals,
home-made food we have begun to crave...
but who has the patience to cook each time?
things are soo much easier with the microwave...

immortal love is seldom heard of anymore,
though everyone wants it to go just fine...
but who has the time to cry when ur gone?
if things dont work out,there is someone else in line...

true friendship today is so difficult to find,
u expect friends to be always by ur side...
but who would care with u to stay behind?
if ur car breaks down, they'l hitch another ride...

so to walk all alone be prepared,
everyone here is living a life deranged...
dont brood too long over the past gone by,
cos yes my friend,now times have changed...

PROMPT: 'changed' taken from writers island

Those Were The Day...

February 07, 2008

forgive or forget???

I have this stupid habit of digging up old graves even when i dont really intend to...
its like i think im all fine and normal and then bam!! when confronted,it suddenly comes back to me and i proceed to lash my whip of cynicism and bitterness at the poor unsuspecting soul who thought perhaps he/she had been forgiven...

it leaves me feeling good about myself...asif ive finally cut the losses...or perhaps its my way of trying to figure out if the other is really sorry enough to face the bitterness...
either way, it sure does lead to a lot of awkwardness for both the parties...

Its also true that this streak of mine sometimes gets on my nerves and i hate myself for it as i continue to feel miserable...i mean why am i this way??
why cant i just forgive or better still forget somethings and just move on?

Was discussing a fav topic wih a friend (fav topic being 'me' ofcourse!! *grin*) and she told me that it could be rather irritating at times how i tend to be so stuck up with things...
she further asked me had i to actually be as strong as i like to show i have become,why cant i forgive the people who have wronged me, why cant i befriend the ones i was hurt by?
hmmmmmm...!!

and then the same confusing question..."what is it pri?? is it selfrespect or your ego that is coming in between?"
and this time, the eternal chatterbox that urs truly normally is, found herself at a loss for words...

February 05, 2008

and the award goes to...

okay in reference to the previous post,the whole idea as blogger buddy 'anuj' rightly pointed out and most of ull seem to have got was me wanting to know ur choice of music...
well with the objective much attained, a few still thought that they were supposed to know me real well and only then dedicate a song for me...but thats okay too :)
anyways for those who did give me a chance to appreciate or laugh at (heehee) ur choice of music,i couldent say thanku in a better way than this...
so here is the 'chocolate surprise' as promised ...(ok ok i know, for once u just wished this wasent a virtual world out here right?? *grin*)

i tried to pick up a favourite but just couldent because it dint seem fair...afterall as i said earlier we all have our choices and i respect each one of urs :)

each song had some fav element...and it was also tough to select the one which had the combination of all (yeah just like ppl, the 'perfect' song isnt even made yet i guess)...neverthless what we like today could be something we hate tomorrow and with a labile mood like mine, its tough to label 'favs'...

but then again, isnt it the same with everyone?...dosent the 'state of mind' we are in, determine to a large extent the type of music we enjoy (not always though)...
what we find utterly sensitive today could seem dramatic tomorrow..sigh!!
what we find heartwreching today could seem artificial and fake tomorrow...
what we found romantic yesterday could seem irritating today...
so that leaves me unfit to choose a fav...or rather i would put it as, i liked them all each for their own special reason...
so at the cost of looking 'diplomatically correct',(though believe me i had no intentions to but am afraid it might sound that way to some)i hereby further dissect the dedications for the quality i admired in each...

--->'kahin door jab din dhal jaye' from rambler----for its sereneness and tranquility, this song has always managed to bring a tear to the eye...just like the movie 'anand' :)

--->'goa raum psychedelic' from j----trance manages to take me into another world..and love it for that...

--->'bol halke halke' from chakoli---brings about an air of romance with a whiff of fantasy :)

--->'na hain yeh paana' from chandni---ive always believed in 'love is another word for sacrifice'..and this song beautifully depicts the immortality of love...

--->'raat kali ek khwab mein aayi' from blogboy---ahh! those soulful melodies of that golden era...what more can i say :)

--->'irony' from ub---hadent heard this one before...loved it for its lyrics :)..though the music is a bit too strong for me...

--->'mausam ke sargam ko sun' from cosmic joy---for it brings with it the magic of the monsoons even when its not raining :)

--->'nasha yeh pyaar ka nasha' from adi---like it for its hep and jovial spirit and maybe im a bit biased because of the memories that movie brings :)...

---> 'friends never say goodbye' from raaji---for something i could never express the way i wanted to :)

--->'bridge over troubled waters' from anuj---because ive heard it hundred times and over and it has the same magic as 'sounds of silence' and 'homeward bound'...sigh!S&G continues to be an alltime fav...

--->'ding dong' and' dafli wale' by ashu---err im afraid not exactly my type...but anyways...if they make u happy they are worth listening...
as for 'geet gaata hun main' by ashu---LOVE that song because no matter what it always manages to get a smile on my face :)

--->'chodo na mujhe yun' from abhishek khanna---this used to be my fav once upon a time (those 'im-a-die-hard-romantic' days..lol!)...but still like it especially for the wonderful humming effect it brings about...:)

--->'song for a friend' from veens---for trying to build in me the confidence that i gotta love myself first...very inspiring and optimistic indeed :)

--->'aye kaash ki hum ab hosh mein aane na paye' from vrij---for it has done full justice to the fact that love is but a utopian state but when in it, we just dont want to get real..:)

--->'we never change' from illusion---for stating something which is very true so frankly :)

--->'aye zindagi gale lagale' from mez---heehee for winning me first place in the intercollegiate event i had sung it at...*blush* (oyee!!i wasent the only participant if thats what ur thinkin :-/)

--->'the rembrands' from sam---for reminding me what friends (and im not talking bout the series here which also happened to be my fav)are all about...:)

--->'first day of the rest of ur life' from vands---for reminding me of that first day of the rest of my life...:)

--->'tujhse naraaz nahi zindagi' from kp---for fitting my life in words...:)

--->'soundscapes-music of the desert' from ceedy---for introducing me to a different kind of music which i wasent aware would impress me so much...very soothing indeed...

--->'lady my sweet lady' and 'aaj jane ki zid na karo' from ankur---esp the latter which is very close to me...love it for the subtle yet heartwrenching lyrics...but love the original (by 'farida khanum') better than the 'asha bhosale' version as the latter adds a twang of sensational voice and music quality to it and in my opinion spoils the very essence of the song...

--->'woh subah kabhi toh ayegi' by angry agnostic--- for the ray of hope it tried to evoke yet somehow leaving me with a weird feeling...

so i guess that explains why it was so tough picking up a winner eh? (the last 3 being latecomers are recently introduced, so please feel free to share the chocs *grin*..ohh i can see 'veens' making faces :p)

now for my part of the promise and since there is no 'one' winner, i would dedicate this song to all u people in blogsville who have always managed to come around here and knowingly or unknowingly made 'nostalgic moments' a more beautiful place and pri a wiser, stronger and better person :)
so here is my dedication...
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cheers!!

February 04, 2008

'sing-a-song' day !!!


Music---something which touches our soul and speaks volumes to the heart...
Ever heard a song and thought how it manages to put across exactly what u feel...yess music does have that beautiful effect :)
soulful melodies, amazing tunes and heartfelt lyrics have always managed to get me floored...

sometimes some songs just manage to speak your heart out ...at other times they clearly reflect ur state of mind...
There are ocassions wherein ive been clearly swept away by the lyrics of some songs...while sometimes its the music, the beats, the rhythm which takes me away into a beautiful world breaking all contact from reality for that brief period of eternal bliss...
we all have our choices...be it haunting melodies for that nostalgic soul or romantic ballads for the happy heart or maybe inspirational songs for a broken spirit, good music is the one which takes a dip in ur soul and captivates ur heart :)


I just got a fwded message from a friend and i thought why not put it here for u to answer...
so here goes...
If u are working in a radio station , which song would u dedicate for me?

so get the CD player in ur minds rolling and choose a song for me...
will be waiting for ur reply and the best one gets a 'toffee hamper' from pri *grin*
ohh yes and i would definitely reply back with a song for the winner :)

have a musical day ahead!!
keep smiling! :)

February 02, 2008

MAGIC!!

Its a magic world around i see,
a magic chest with a magic key...
a little here and some more there,
a lotta magic for everyone to share...

the magic of love of which all know,
the very reason for that warmth,that glow...
the one which keeps us smiling all through,
that eternal magic of an 'i love u'...

the magic of hope which keeps alive a spark,
enough to rekindle a fire in the dark...
the hope that a better tomorrow awaits,
a 'tomorrow' which wont succumb to our fates...

the one which heals broken hearts ever since...
the magic which can change a pauper to a prince,
one which can make millions from a well saved dime,
that my friend, is the magic of time...

one which can move great mountains they say,
and can only grow stronger with each passing day...
something which tells us its never too late,
that something is the magic of faith...

the magic which comes with a friendship dear,
is the love of a friend,the company of a peer...
u can count on it but hurt it never,
cos if broken it may vanish forever...

and so i say its a magic world out here,
just enjoy it and let go of every fear...
each second will bring to u a magic new,
but remember,the real magic is the one within u...


(as u must have noticed, ive pretty much fallen in love with the word 'magic'... *grin*)

PROMPT taken from 'writers island'