June 30, 2011

keep the 'chillar'...oye!!

Tomorrow is marked as a red lettered day in the life of pri :) :) :)
Why you ask?
Well, from tomorrow, 1st july 2011, my friends and family wont have the opportunity to ridicule my err..ummm..singing talent like they have so far been doing.
and who knows, with that soul wrenching demotivation and ego shattering gesture of handing-me-a-25paise-coin-&-giggling-away-to-glory-whenever-i-clear-my-throat-to-sing out of the way, i might just regain my long lost confidence and start with my blood curdling 'rhiyaaz' with new found enthusiasm once again & im sure that soon enough, i will definitely end up becoming the next 'Indian Idol'...er..um..ahem...what-e-ver!!

Now all the Indian Government has to do next, is stop the '50 paise' from circulation so that the phrase 'aamdani atthhanni kharcha rupaiyya' gets out of my way too..and then im sorted!! *heaves a sigh of relief and looks all pleased at the thought*

Anyhoo, with all due respect, i pay my homage and bid goodbye to the oh-so-famous 'chavanni' without whom a lot of fond memories (like those orange toffees, kites, baloons and such other innocent joys of childhood, which costed just 'baara aana' a piece back then) just wouldn't make sense!!!

On a slight philosophical note, perhaps its just another way of life to show us that nothing is constant---yeps, not even 'change'!! :-|

June 28, 2011

its time you retired, mister cupid!!

Hey you, cupid,

Yea, its you im talking to--i do not want to get into useless pleasantries..have never been the hypocrite to use one when i don't mean it.
You are the least bit 'dear' to me..so the possibility of me addressing you as so, even in a letter, just does not exist.

So lets get straight to the point.
Isn't it time you stopped picking on me?
I mean, in 'true' casablanca style---out of all the lives of all the people of all the world, do you have to walk into mine??

What's it with you really? for a toddler with diapers, you seem too much of a grinch nowadays.
Ive seen so many people around me dying to experience this feeling called 'love' and you act like they dont exist..turn your back on them..go into ignore mode.

Dude seriously, you need to get a grip on yourself!

Stop dropping in unexpected like this..dont you see the huge sign marked 'visitors not allowed' pinned up by my mind on the front door of my heart?
I mean i know love is 'blind' & all that jazz..but don't you dare use that excuse.
My poor mind has almost gone hoarse screaming 'no entry' even at the slightest sign of your arrival.
so...what then? Have you gone 'hard of hearing' too??

or wait a minute..are you really that sadistic?
I see 'miss A' pining to experience the love she has read of in books & fairytales..she tells me that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.Her heart is adorned frills & fancy with 'welcome signs' and flowery hopes to grace your arrival.
but no!! you choose to ignore her and walk right ahead.

then there is 'Mr B', who is waiting.
waiting for what you ask?
waiting for his 'miss right'.
waiting for you to grace his heart with your presence & give him that one signal he needs.
He has fallen for your evil clone earlier or so he says (i still think it was you in disguise though) and had his heart broken.
but the eternal optimist that he is, has managed to keep his trust in you all intact.
and what do you do?
You leave his beckoning heart aside and walk right ahead, while he sighs & tells himself that perhaps the time is not right.
bullshit i say!!
You have other plans..evil plans..for someone else...for me!!

'Miss C' is waiting too..
Amidst sobs and sniffles, she tells me that you had knocked on her heart sometime back but apparently when she had proceeded to open the door to let that 'special someone' in. she had realised you hadn't knocked at his.
the story had then gone on..with 'miss hope' intervening..crashing..building..crashing..building..and so on..

end result---she is still waiting for you to knock at his door and make him notice how much she loves him.
ofcourse 'miss hope' frequents her far less often nowadays..but you???--you seem to have plain forgotten the whole story!!!

Why? why? WHY??!
let me tell you why..
yes mister evil cupid, i have you all figured out now.

you have got this evil streak in you which most fail to notice.
I have almost been in all the above situations, 'almost' because unlike A, B and C, i accepted that you are just a retarded dwarf who wants to screw up everyone's life---especially mine.

Don't you get it?
Avoiding you has taken up almost my entire life.
Well ive had my share of believing in fairytales..and then had a long and tough struggle unbelieving them too.
so when im completely okay and at peace with myself, why is it that you plan to threaten my peaceful existence?
Dont you realise that your mood swings turn my whle life topsy turvy thus triggering off my mood fluctuations and temper tantrums..for which you, unfortunately are never held responsible out of fear that itl'l give me away.

see mr cupid, lets get this straight ok?
you are like the hypothetical breath of fresh air, which in reality ive heard people complain to be a stinkbomb after a while.
you are the cant-live-without frshness which ive heard people rant they cant live with, with time.
you are the fairytale which clashes with reality & eventually laughs at you for being naive.
you are the eternal love story which is later brutally made to end with the silliest reason in the world or sometimes with no reason at all.
you are the pleasant 'gmornings' & loving 'gnites' that slowly turn into compulsory rituals and proceed to evaporate into fizzles of embarassment in the company of friends as times goes by..
you are the constant addiction which sooner or later turns into a distant memory, one which is either recalled after a fight with the spouse or under the influence of a little too much of inebriation.

naah, don't get me wrong..im neither jaded nor bitter at you.
Sure there are days when cynicism becomes my weapon and life, my punching bag.
Its not like i never believed in you..i did.
There was a time when i actually survived on the concept of true immortal love as depicted in the tales of yore--of Juliet being serenaded by a love lost Romeo..of the heroic Paris & his love for Helena..of Layla & Majnu..of Darcy & Elizabeth..and needless to mention our KJO woven bubble gum love stories which still manage to create a ripple of senseless expectatins in the youth of today.

Ive been through all that & more..infact i still enjoy reading/watching/hearing a love story--i guess that fairytale element in a woman is something that never dies and im no exception.

However, its just that im not too sure if im comfortable with your modern day 'fast track' avtaar, you know---the one who cheats..who lies..who betrays..who stabs in the back..who thinks of love as something akin to a commodity.who doesn't believe in trust, honesty, commitment---the one that i have seen roaming around a little too much nowadays.

and so when i want to revel in your glory, i find it easier to revert to printed love stories, chickflics and romantic classics.

I agree i still find it more consoling to write about some never heart..never seen caricature of love which stems from my imagination and comes to life on paper or blog.
You might think im a romantic and perhaps that is why you hover around me like this.
but please let me clarify---im more of a realist..fully aware that you, cheeky cherub with all your treacherous plans, just don't fit the bill.

In fact, all that ive seen, heard and felt around me is that 98% of the times, you seem to sign a pact with mister murphy and work as a team.
So im not getting fooled by your cute starting act---thankyou very much!!

Hmmm..coming to the long & short of it---for heaven's sake and for the sake of you, me and all humanity, please leave me alone from now on and FOCUS!!
Focus on those who want to experience your black magic instead.

They tell me that i can run but cant hide.no matter how disillusioned i get, you will catch up with me, they say..bah!

Im tired of running mister cupid, lets strike a deal instead.
Lets end it on a friendly note and agree to accept that we are just not meant to be.
You go your separate way & il'l go mine before this gets ugly.

As E. Y. Harburg rightly said,
"O innocent victims of Cupid, Remember this terse little verse..To let a fool kiss you is stupid...To let a kiss fool you is worse"

Someday if you make my heart go tachycardic, il'l think of you and pop in an 'anti-anxiety' pill to calm my nerves..
and someday, if you feel the tempt to pay me a chaotic visit, please with all due respect, spare me the torture & IGNORE it.

with minimal regards & lukewarm wishes,


June 24, 2011

from this moment...


June 08, 2011

the power of love

She lies awake thinking of her love...the rain drops caressing her face, as the stars are tempted to reach out & touch her.
She gazes into the open expanse wondering about the play of destiny---the destiny which makes her always yearn for a love so out of reach that her expectations almost seems juvenile..
"why does she keep testing fate all the time? why cant she wish for something simple?" she hears the trees whispering as the amused wind lashes out waves of laughter at them.

She has done it again--
given her heart to the impossible..
prepared herself for the inevitable..
learnt to fight the unacceptable...
& ultimately agreed to reason and submit to her stubborn conscience which simply refuses to let go.

She lies awake thinking of what lies ahead..fully aware of the forces of nature chiding her, warning her of the storm that is just around the corner, capable of shattering her into a million pieces.

Smiling at the skies, "i care not of the days to come" she responds, "ive fallen in love with the night, this time...ive fallen in love with the night!!"

As the hours pass by, the rain stops singing, but her soul continues to hum the tune of love..
the trees stop swaying, but her heart continues to dance to the rhythm of delight.
the wind stops blowing, but her mind continues to lash out visions of happy memories.
the stars stop shining, but her eyes continue to twinkle in anticipation of the future
and when the new dawn arises, the first rays of the morning sun tap gently on the window pane, only to see a half sleepy lover, peeping from behind a blanket of dreams, silently hoping, for the unseen, untold, unexpressed and yet, much awaited moment...the moment when the night would prove the world wrong and her love would triumph!!

disclaimer---this is purely a work of fiction inspired by the rains, i guess...
the author is otherwise mostly a skeptic at heart!! ;)

June 06, 2011

of 'typealyzer' & all that jazz!!

I was randomly browsing the web when i came across this site which makes an analysis of your blog and tells you what type you are..
A deep sense of boredom & intrigue is precisely what made me enter my link and find out what it had to say..

Here's what it said about me---
The analysis indicates that the author of http://lifeofpri.blogspot.com is of the type:

INFP - The Idealists
The meaning-seeking and unconventional type. They are especially attuned to making sure their beliefs and actions are congruent. They often develop a passion for the arts or unusual forms of self-expression.

They enjoy work that are aligned to their deeply felt values and tend to strongly dislike the more practical and mundane forms of tasks. They can enjoy working alone for long periods of time and are happiest when they can immerse themselves in personally meaningful projects.

There is a graphical display too which shows dominant parts during the writing.
I tried to paste it here but somehow it wasn't possible..needless to mention, that was kinda flattering too :D :D

Well, perhaps its just another of those random feel-good analytical surveys..but what the heck, who's complaining? ;)

Try it out & do share the link of your blog analysis in my comment section---would love to read.

June 01, 2011

starlight express

I walk towards the station,
and await the approaching train...
looking back one last time,
at those memories on 'nostalgia' lane...

cos the 'starlight express' is coming,
to take me far away...
into a land where wishes are granted,
and dreams are there to stay...

a land where feelings are treasured,
and friendships forever last...
where only happiness is eternal,
and hurt, a thing of the past...

where the present shows a future,
a promising one indeed...
where health & prosperity lingers,
in sickness and in need...

where the whole world stands united,
and the only religion is 'love'...
where evil dare not cast its shadow
in fear of the one above...

I am waiting at the station,
with my baggage left behind,
the heart surprisingly tranquil,
no second thoughts cross my mind...

cos the 'starlight express' is coming,
to take me far away...
as i am beckoned into this journey,
a journey through a brand new day!!

writer's note: "starlight express" is about a real journey to an imaginary place---a place i visit every night and am made to return from in the morning..and yes, it is named 'starlight express' for a reason!! :)