December 22, 2010

the worst kinda hurt...

there is this old 19th century english saying "sticks and stones may break my bones..but words will never hurt me"
i have always wondered the scarcity of truth (for lack of a better word) in the above statement.

how many of us have been hurt by an unkind word said to us or about us?
im sure everyone at some point of time, have harboured this kind of hurt and truth be told, these are the wounds which we in reality hardly ever manage to forget.

physical injury may cause wounds which may take a long time to heal..but the void created by words hurled carelessly, might cause irreparable damage to emotions and hence to relationships and once the damage is done, no matter how much the attempt to fix it, the hurt will always remain.

the same with gossip--mere words exchanged to a third person about a particular second person who has perhaps taken you into confidence and shared something he/she considers sacrosanct or personal..
if only we would stop to think, even for just a minute, what we would feel if our secrets were leaked out in such a random careless fashion by a trusted someone!!
trust is the basis of all relationships..a few loose words, a few leaked secrets is all it takes to break that delicate bond which takes ages to build.

what is silence again, but a lack of words!!
ive seen relationships and frienships crumble to pieces due to lack of communication.
gone is the era when people used to relate love to understanding each other perfectly even in silence..
personally, i would be rather offended if im ignored or not spoken to..and the chances of me misinterpreting the silence as indifference or lack of chemistry is more.
it can be pretty killing---considering that the void it creates will eventually lead to the death of the relationship which thrive mainly on knowing and wanting to know each other more and more.
and hence, in that sense, i can never understand how two people who claim to care so much about each other have nothing to talk about, take comfort in each others silence..i guess those are just mere excuses for want of that extra space which usually is the outcome of fatigued interest.

in conclusion---words are a pretty dangerous weapon, more like a double edged sword---
just like they can reinforce and strengthen bonds, they can also cause damage when used in lack or excess..
just like they can heal a bruised spirit, they can also hurt when used wrongly or loosely.
just like they can they can communicate heartfelt emotions and create chemistry, they can also cause rifts and complicate the best of relations when misused.

and just like the right words may not be always remembered, the wrong ones may not be easily forgotten!!

rephrasing; "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can also hurt me"

so be careful with your words..even though they seem pretty harmless, you can never know who's heart they might be breaking!!


Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

in a Scrubs episode, J.D. Tries to act smart using the first half of that phrase when someone insults him 'sticks and stones may break my bones.' in his mind, the sentence finishes sorrowfully 'but words will hurt forever'.
It is very true.. Words hurt d most. Just as silence from one whose words u seek can hurt, so too the wrong words can break a heart.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

and I would say that the phrase is true. Words wont hurt me until I let them to.
And yes, words are more dangerous than any sword when it comes to lethality. Silence is dangerous, when it shouldn't be there.

Blasphemous Aesthete

Keshi said...

hi Pri, it's so nice to be here after ages :) I hope all is well with ya.

Words can hurt no matter what. It's so easy to say that no one/nothing can hurt us unless we let them. But Words do hv the power to pierce through one's heart and leave painful wounds, atleast for a lil while. If someone doesnt get hurt at all from Words, then that person must be made of Stone or is lying :)

But now I hv conditioned myself to a level that when ppl say hurtful words to me, I know what to expect. I know the cycle of emotions I'd go through. Cos I've been there before. I hv penetrated my v emotions and hv mastered them :) So I know how to handle them next time, and the pain will be a lil less next time around. Our hearts and minds can be 'trained' yes..but it takes alot of time, experiences and wisdom.

I wish u a very Merry Christmas and a great 2011! X


Pri said...

@ pythoroshan
exactly my thoughts..
and it is these wounds which never manage to heal completely!

@ blasphemous aesthete
i don't completely agree with you..sometimes its not in our control.
emotions know no logic, and when they are insulted by someone we thought/think as close, we get irritated, angry and most of all hurt-even though we might hate ourselves for it.
afterall we are only human!

Pri said...

@ keshi
i know wht you are saying--i am trying to reach that level too..
sometimes i fail..and sometimes, i end up scaring myself :)

thanks for the wishes.wish you a very happy christmas and new year too..