March 08, 2016

#SadaSexy: This I ask of you...

Dear Soulmate,

Frankly, I don't even know if you exist out there. In all probability, you might have lost your way, reached Phoenix in Arizona or the wild jungles of Africa, got eaten up by lions, or thinking more rationally, maybe gotten hit by a truck.
But just in case you have escaped all the above possibilities, and are out there somewhere searching for me, then.....then you'd probably have to find your own way here, come forward and introduce yourself in order to get noticed, because honestly, I'm pretty daft when it comes to matters of the heart. You might be right in front of me waving a placard with my name and a heart drawn around it, and I still wouldn't know.

That gets me to the first promise I ask of you. Promise me that you, at no point in life, will ever use placards or signboards of any kind to suggest any such thing. I tend to get quite conscious in public and am not comfortable with  PDA. More importantly, I'm kinda near sighted, or as blind as a bat (whatever you'd prefer to believe). So unless you are standing within a distance of two feet with my name written in huge neon letters, chances are that you'd be noticed by everyone else except me.

With that out of the way, let's proceed to the other promises I ask of you. You can later tell me about your expectations too, but don't forget today is women's day. Maybe you can come back on men's day to get your demands met...............Gotcha!! There's no such day as men's day.

I, like most women, am a big fan of flattery and tend to believe it when coming from the right people. There are days when you'd find me happily bouncing around in a bubble of my delusions. Let me be. If I stay in it for too long, gently remind me. I need you to possess the right balance of maturity and sensitivity. Mature enough to keep me in check with reality and sensitive enough to make sure it doesn't hurt me.

The key to a soulful relationship is meaningful conversation. Love is all about expression. Don't hesitate to talk your mind, tell me what you are feeling. Promise me you will allow me access to that empty space in your mind---that place where guys normally don't allow anyone to enter. Tell me what goes on there. Discuss with me your innermost desires, your fears, your secrets. Ask me about mine. However, we wouldn't want you getting too expressive when I have gained a few extra pounds, am stuffing my face with cake, or am bitching with my girl friends. You will be allowed to stay taciturn then. I do realize that both of us would need space in our relationship, space to breathe, to grow, to love each other more deeply. Promise me you will respect the need for my space just as I'd respect the need for yours.

I have seen and heard about a lot of Prince Charming' who turned into ugly trolls after marriage. Assure me that you will not transform into a beer bellied, balding, ogre who spends Friday night watching football with his friends and farts in bed---not at least during the first six years of holy matrimony, after which there are pretty high chances of me joining you in all of above myself. That simply means you got to promise not to change into an ogre until I change into an ogress. Only fair, innit?

I am not a shopaholic. In fact, I am very comfortable with a limited wardrobe of Tees and casuals. But there are days when I shop like I'm possessed. On days like these, I will demand your company. I need someone to hold my shopping bags and pay my bills. And hence I ask of you, the 'sunshine' promise. That means thou will not sulk or brood when made to wait outside changing rooms. Nor will thou complain when I feel hypoglycemic from excessive shopping and expect a quick snack to magically appear from somewhere, even though we are miles away from a food joint. Instead I need you to keep me distracted by pointing out to 'discount sale' signs in my favorite store window while you scan the area for a Subway or CCD.

Now this is something that I need to make clear right at the start. You need to understand that I have a writer's soul trapped within a doctors body.
This means that I am quite a living contradiction, a paradox. This also means that I am someone who hates sticking to routine. So if you expect me to cook you an elaborate meal every single day, I'd run off like a headless chicken. However, if you are okay with eating a soup and sandwich meal, I might even read you a hand crafted story while you are eating it.
I've always found churning plots more interesting than grinding masalas. I've been taunted and teased about it, hoping I'd leave the laptop aside and take up the ladle instead. But it only ended up increasing my word count. Needless to say, I have grown up constantly fighting the odds in order to keep my dreams at bay. So today, I need you to promise me that you will never criticize my passion for the written word. Never underestimate my addiction of  books, my respect for literature, and my love for writing. Tomorrow, I might decide to make it my full time career, and yet feel torn  between responsibility and decision. Promise me you won't stick to stereotype, that you will agree to find the sandwiches on days when I'm furiously typing away at my desk. Promise me you will believe in me even if the whole world doesn't.
After hours of furious typing at my desk, I will be depending on you for honest feedback after hours of dubious typing at my desk. With fictional characters dancing around in my head, I might end up burning the daal or adding a little extra salt in the vegetable. So promise me you will be patient and offer to fix the sandwiches by yourself, insist on home-delivered food from a nearby eatery, and maybe even help with the dishes.

There will be days when both of us will be busy. But however busy we may get, we need to always find time for conversation. Every relationship has its own arguments, compromises, disagreements. We will have ours too. But let's vow never to allow silence to consume us no matter how misunderstood, angry, or frustrated we feel with each other.
There will be times when you might not want to see my face, when I'd drive you up the wall, act insanely jealous and insecure. Understand that these are the times when I'm probably at my weakest best. I might not always be able to tell you exactly how I'm feeling. But promise me you will know I need you to stay.

I want you to treat my family as your own family, and I'd do the same. This is less of a promise, more of a given in relationships. I can only be close to you when I know you are close to the people who are close to me. Fitting in with each others family and friends would be effortless once we get to understand them. I need you to promise me you'd never forget that it was they who put up with me until you came along, tolerated my eccentricities, helped me get over my idiosyncrasies and made the job a whole lot easier for you.

I am aware these are a lot of promises to ask of you. But trust me, all these expectations can be summed up in just a single line. So today, on International women's day, I ask of you what every woman will want from her man---equal choices. Promise me the freedom to wear what I want to wear as long as I can handle it, to go where I want to go as long as I can ensure my safety, and be who I want to be as long as I believe in it. Trust in me when I say I will never let you down.
I have lived my entire life a particular way. My family and friend circle consists of modern, open minded, free thinking men, who do not treat their women as a piece of meat or a trophy they can show around. Instead, they value their woman as a best friend, a confidante, an equal companion, and a liberated woman. Yes, I'm aware they have set the bar rather high, but I am hoping you will only take it higher.

Honestly, it seems rather preposterous asking a bunch of promises of you who I've probably never met (or have met and missed), and am assuming is designed to be my soul mate. In fact, I don't even know if these promises would make sense if we eventually meet someday. Perhaps I will have other promises to ask of you. Perhaps my priorities will have changed. Maybe I'd still be chasing my dreams, reaching out for butterflies, not wanting to settle just then. Then again maybe these promises will scare you away and we'd never end up crossing paths again.

Tomorrow is never certain, and all that we can be sure of is today. Yet, when I think of love, I know it has to be special, really special for it to top my priority list.

The present is filled with opportunities, the future with myriad possibilities. And somewhere between the two are these unspoken promises waiting for a ridiculously inconvenient, all consuming, can't-live-without-each-other type of love story to happen.

Until then,
please keep away from lions and trucks.

Yours truly,

P.S: Ahem! If you are thinking of skipping the video, please don't. Ranveer Singh has come up with some awesome tips to celebrate the woman in his life. Inspired yet, Mr Soulmate?

 I’m blogging about the kasams I want from my man this Women’s Day with the #SadaSexy activity at BlogAdda

Here's wishing all the lovely ladies visiting my blog a very happy International Women's day.  Whether you are single or committed, have a man in your life or not, are a career woman or a doting house wife, always remember---you are beautiful. Respect the choices you have made. Believe in the decisions you are going to make. The world might not always pamper you, but never forget to love yourself.
Be proud of being the strongest and yet the gentlest of God's creations. Be proud to be a woman!

EDITED (12th APRIL 2016):
They say expectations never did anyone much good. Hah! This proves them wrong. The above post is declared a winner ;)

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