Still?

Last night, after almost an eternity, I dreamt of you again.

It was absurd, the way my dream has changed over the ages. Last night, you were just standing there, in a quiet little corner, smiling to yourself. I seemed busy in a blur of activity---the random humdrum of an otherwise monotonous day. It didn't seem like I did not notice you standing there watching me. But somehow, even in that dream, I was not giving that fact much importance. You didn't say anything. I was speaking to everyone else but you. A loose strand of hair carelessly tucked behind my ear, I was scribbling something furiously on the notepad in hand. I seemed like someone enjoying a lot of responsibility. It seemed you were enjoying it too, watching me like that. But we did not speak, not to each other.

I cannot recall the details but the waking point was the one that surprised me most. There was a merger---a dream plus reality mix...a surreal time travel of sorts, from a reminiscent past to a hypothetical future.

We were suddenly holding hands...in another frame...another scene rolling out miles away as if in another time and space.

"Its a small world," you were saying..."We will meet again..."

"Don't be so sure...We might go the rest of our lives pretending the other does not exist."

Then the scene changed, there you were again, standing in one corner of the busy room, smiling softly at me...me who was trying hard to ignore your presence now.
You were still smiling...and as our eyes met, I let out an exasperated sigh.

"So, we meet again," I said and smiled.

"When did we ever part? We were only pretending we did," was your tongue in cheek reply.

..and then I woke up, trying to decipher which half of the merger was more real, the past that  happened (and got left behind), or the future that never will...

Last night, after almost an eternity, I dreamt of you again.

Book Review: 'The Other Side' By Faraaz Kazi and Vivek Banerjee

Title: The Other Side
Authors: Faraaz Kazi and Vivek Banerjee

Pages: 320

Publisher: Mahaveer Publishers

Price: Rs 150/-

Genre: Fiction

I was one of the first few people to have ordered this book on FlipKart. Having known Faraaz Kazi for his prolific writing and equally warm persona, I had been waiting for his second book to hit the stalls. So when I was told that 'The Other Side' would be the end result of the brainstorming sessions of two literary geniuses (the other being Vivek Banerjee of 'The Long Road' fame), I knew for sure that I had to read it.

Why the late review, then? Well, as you folks must have noticed, I have been pretty much out of the loop since some time. There have been personal reasons and then there have been personal reasons. Lets just say life kept me busy. But believe me, I am not dead. Speaking of which, its quite an eerie come-back announcement to make when I am all geared to write on 'The Other Side'. (pun intended)

So without further ado, let me begin by saying that this book was, in one word, unputdownable, right from the word 'Go'.
'The Other Side' is a collection of thirteen spine chilling stories of the paranormal world, that do not fail to leave you with a lump in your throat. The book begins with a foreword that explains the philosophy of fear---the one extreme emotion that lives in all of us, and yet we try so hard to ignore. Next, follows the prelude which is a well corroborated conversation between the two authors, Faraaz and Vivek, speaking about their bizarre experiences, and this aids in creating the whole 'chill in the air' feeling before we proceed on to reading the subsequent pages.

There is an element of wide eyed surprise in each of these narratives, be it 'Starangers in the night' or 'The lady in the pub'.. Frankly, its impossible to pick a favorite, but 'Red Bangles' and 'Dream Girl' makes your hair stand on end.
However, what I particularly liked about the book is that there was a sense of right doing and wrong doing in each of the stories. While the unadulterated horror gave me goosebumps, the subtlety which hinted that perhaps there is justice after all..at least on the other side, brought a smile to my lips---an act of kindness gets repaid, a perverse murderer gets his due, a mother's love is answered and so on.
Each narrative is written with lurid details. The sombre undertone evokes a panic within the reader and the writing clearly reveals the literary talent possessed by the authors, as each story rolls out scene by scene in your imagination.

This combo pack of thirteen gut wrenching stories will definitely make you explore your innermost fears and wonder about superstitions and the world beyond our own. From the honeymoon in the hills that goes terribly wrong to the obsessed lover who craves his love, in life or death to the psycho who mutilates body parts to build up his 'dream girl', this book is filled with grossly petrifying, terribly unnerving and overwhelmingly alarming tales that will make you miss a heart beat as you gulp with fear. What takes the cake, however, is the epilogue that is in continuation with the prologue involving the two authors and their adventure---the final nail to the coffin. (oops! pun intended or maybe not...)

To conclude, I would say, reading the other side was a nail biting experience and that just goes to say that it definitely lived up to its genre, and needless to mention, the authors' names. Would surely recommend it.

Oh yes, I dared to visit alone and felt the chill in the air. Did you? :)

Personal Rating:  4 out of 5

Book Review: 'Done with men' By Shuchi Kalra

 Title: Done With Men

Genre: Contemporary Fiction

"I'm soo done with men," is a statement I am sure every young or not so young member of the female species has, at one point of time or the other in her life, uttered in exasperation.
Well, Shuchi Kalra's debut novel revolves around the extraordinary journey of one such ordinary female and works on basically the same premise---therapy to a broken heart.
As our jilted protagonist Kairavi decides to go on a sojourn to Goa to rid herself of the aftereffects of a bitter heartbreak, she swears to herself and to the Universe that she will never again fall in love with another man.
End Result: the stereotyped Alcohol Ashram that Goan beaches are apparently viewed as by tourists, beckon her to have a wild drunken night, that includes not just booze but also (as she discovers later) an outrageous tattoo and an equally experimental 'break an leg arm' gay encounter that ensues in getting inked with a 'Done with Men' inscription on her wrist.
But its Goa....and good things keep happening. During the brief hospital stint, she meets the fascinating doctor Vivian Dmello, an alpha male, a rare mix of unique sentimentality and Adonis masculinity. To add to that, Dr Vivian also happens to fall madly in love with Kairavi, whose heart is constantly torn by the confusion between the decision she has made and the tempting offer of what lies ahead.
The story is fast paced and entertaining. It is a light and frothy read. Its non-lengthy perky quality renders it the status of a quick read. The interest level is sustained  by contrasting characters like Kairavi's best friend and room mate, Baani, and her 'boring' boyfriend, who are a little too level headed and balanced for Kairavi's gregarious and fun loving (yet insecure--the chink in her armour) personality, and needless to mention glimpses from previous relationships she has been in. The only grouse I had with the plot was how quick paced the whole 'falling in love again' was for a person who is just out of a relationship and had sworn off men. But then again, maybe its just the skeptic in me talking.

As the new crush or love is viewed with pink tinted glasses, the vacation seems to take on an almost perfect course. Yes, 'almost' perfect as things are not always as rosy as they seem. Just when Kairavi feels things are turning too good to be true, she is in for a couple of surprises---visits from the ex, the return of the lesbian, and the gorgeous threat to her budding love affair with Dr Dmello make her wonder what the stars have planned for her.

Does Kairavi find the true love of her life or is it that whatever happens in Goa should stay in Goa?
Heart break is a tough affair to handle and does she really need to have her heart broken yet again to validate the tattoo she had got done in drunken revelry.
Or will she go walking into the sunset (considering Goa is a beach et al).?
Well. that my lovelies, you'd have to find out for yourself. This modern day story is available in ebook version by Indireads and comes with an entertainment guaranteed offer. So for all you heart broken lasses out there, this one will definitely get you smiling.

Cheers!
and keep reading...

Personal rating: 3 out of 5

About the author: Writer, editor and blogger based in India. She has been writing since 005 and has freelanced in magazines like Femina.in, Good Housekeeping, Home Review, Dogs &Pups, Parent & Child, Women's Era, and Times 'N' Style amongst many others. She also writes a monthly travel column for Investors India.
Shuchi is the owner of Pixie Dust Writing Studio and the Indian Freelance Writers Blog. Her short stories have been a part of anthologies such as Love Across Borders. Done with men is her debut novel.
First an optometrist at one of India's leading eye hospitals, she is now a full time writer leading a happily nomadic life with her fauji husband and livewire toddler.

facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/shuchisinghkalra
twitter: @shuchikalra 
book video trailer: 

Sunanda Tharoor: The chinks in her armour...

Last night, screaming headlines shocked the nation about Sunanda Tharoor's untimely death in one of Delhi's poshest hotel rooms. News reports informed that the union minister and his wife were staying at the Leela Hotel since two days prior to the catastrophe, due to some renovation at their residence. The horrific incident apparently occurred somewhere between 3.30pm (when she was last seen in the hotel's lobby) and 7.25pm (when Shashi Tharoor along with the hotel staff broke open the hotel door only to find his wife's lifeless duvet covered body in bed). In the absence of any suicide note or source, the police are left clueless about the cause of her death. However, mystery shrouds the case as suspicions arise due to recent comments and happenings that have transpired in the recent past.

It is no secret that there have been strained relations between the seven year long married couple due to Shashi's alleged affair with a certain Pakistani journalist Mehr Tarar. All those following the celebrity couple would be well aware of the twitter war that the trio were fighting.
Who would know that an immature online squall would result in such a disastrous consequence? Who knew that a social platform would be responsible for wiping off fifty two years of a beautiful life from the face of the worth?
Who can know when something is getting too much to handle? and then again, how much is too much?

I wonder if Mehr would still pass those angry comments she made about Sunanda in her tweets had she to know that it would have such fatal consequences...I am not being biased. Some might say that what Mehr tweeted was just a counter reaction to Sunanda's accusations. I am not in any position to say that there is any truth to whatever Sunanda Tharoor claimed. But the woman in me refuses to believe that she could have have imagined it all, like Mehr in one of her tweets is trying to make it sound. However, we the aam junta, can never know anything for sure. In someone's personal affairs, however, this 'not wanting to knowing' is mostly a good thing....unless ofcourse, it becomes a social catastrophe that could have been prevented..or perhaps a suicide that could be stopped. That is when, society is handed over the right to intrude and fight for justice on behalf of someone who quit midway for what she/he thought as something that could not be helped.

Everyone and I mean EVERYONE (right from the maid who works at my home to the pesky news reporter who barely allows the interviewee to speak and is most happy answering his own questions) Perhaps Sunanda resorted to this ghastly method as a desperate measure to quit the losing battle of a rocky marriage. Perhaps it was the depression that stemmed from her poor health condition that stepped on a nerve, causing a breakdown. Perhaps it was twitter, the friendly social platform, that was taken way too seriously in this 'internet' world. Or perhaps it was just a case of real bad timing...and (like we all want to believe) she died a peaceful death. So many interpretations, no fixed conclusion yet. The autopsy report promises to exclude a few possibilities.

But what stays in mind is her last tweet, "Who knows when I got to go with joy hastay hue jayenge (will go laughing)," she said.

The mystery around Sunanda Pushkar's death made me review my panoramic outlook on life. It made me ponder on societal definitions sprinkled all over the news reports---'true love', 'happily married', 'social circuit', 'depression', 'PDA', 'insecurities'---the elusiveness of it all. Is there any age to all this? Rather, is there any age at which we move beyond all these expectations (from us...from those we love...from life)? Or is this something we humans are cursed with, until our dying day?

Sunanda Tharoor's friends are now seen speaking of the lady's charm, joie de vivre, warm and friendly disposition and striking personality. She was known for her sense of humour and vibrant attitude. What nobody could spot was probably the chinks in her armour.
What nobody ever spots are the bruises on the soul...

May afterlife grant her the happiness that life did not allow...
Rest In Peace Sunanda Tharoor!

Life and its 'Pizza' people---Angry kya?

Last night I ordered pizza for dinner.
Now what is so blog worthy about that, you may ask. Well, you my dear friend, should be by now aware that yours truly is rendered with the most unexpected moments of enlightenment by the most mundane of all experiences.
So there I was, waiting for the pizza boy, driving away absurd thoughts of the guys who work at Nominos deliberately spitting or drooling on my pizza to avenge for my brashness in response to the irate telephonic exchange I had with them (those who order out from Nominos will know how one has to face a flurry of unnecessary rounds of questions that include stupid discount schemes, retarded offers and senseless choices----if I want diet coke with my pizza, I'd have asked for it  You don't really need to keep telling me that I can get it free with another medium sized pizza, you know...because then you would have to tell me how to finish off two medium sized high calorie pizzas without having to scream out loud on judgement day aka the day I step on the scale to weigh myself, every week. So bah!)

Without digressing too much, let me come back to the point of the post. So I was waiting for the pizza delivery boy when this profound thought waltzed through my idle mind. Now as you all know, anything is better than worrying yourself over someone spitting in your food, so I allowed myself to chew on it (the thought not the food or the spit, silly...eww! What-e-ver!) and then eventually I shifted focus to the people in my life. (Yea, I'm sure you guys must be mumbling 'tell us something new' under your breath. Well, creatures of habit, you and me...what to do, we are like that only.)

Somewhere between thoughts of the pizza yet to be delivered, the hunger pangs rising in my stomach, mirthful expectations of a free pizza if the 30 mins time limit is surpassed (out of the thousand odd times Ive ordered a pizza, never has this happened..but hope and greed is what the world functions on), and a hundred different memories created by people who have walked in and out of my life,  my mind drew the following callous association.

People are somewhat like pizza.

Let me make lucid my following analogy.

Pizza comes in a square box.

When you open it, its round. When you start eating it, its in triangular segments. So within the brief span of getting the pizza in hand, and eating it, the harmful looking Italian junk has already changed shape thrice. 

Life and people are also much like pizza...look different...appear different...and behave absolutely different. 

It is impossible to figure them out completely. Appearances are indeed deceptive. We, in our lives have people changing colors much quicker than pizza changing shape. Or perhaps, maybe just like the pizza, it was always an illusion we fall pray for. Those gooey-chocolate-centred personalities, who are sometimes equally deceptive as a fully loaded high fat, high cholesterol pizza---with extra cheese et all, who you think are so amazing to know that you cannot help but devour them all at once.. You indulge in their awesomeness, relish their exuberance, and cant wait to see them once more. You become addicted.

Just like pizza, you crave for their company. They may be anyone---a friend, a lover, a crush. They become your 'Pizza person'........until one fine day, someone points out, the difference---the difference they see in you. 

Just like the layers of cholesterol that eventually clog your veins, this pizza person slowly but surely gets under your skin. You don't even realise the change, but you are transforming into someone else. That is what too much of indulgence does. You start becoming inactive, bored, lazy, take yourself for granted......until the OMG moment---the moment when the unhappy change starts becoming obvious to the blind bat that you have changed into. This OMG moment can be due to a variety of things. If your pizza person happens to be your best friend, the OMG moment could be his/her attention wavering by the entry of his/her lady love. If your pizza person happens to be a lover, this could be a simple harmless statement like 'umm..you have changed' (which is most likely true but usually adequate to churn a storm of negative emotions through you)..The timing of the fateful 'OMG moment' is subjective to your 'pizza person'. Hitherto, all is bliss. It is only after the OMG revelation, that the panic sets in. Then start the resolutions. Enough of being taken for granted. No more 'Pizza person' you say. You abstain, you exercise, you stay away, you run.

However, you find yourself going back. You start to develop withdrawal symptoms. Your Pizza person is watching you, a bit confused but nevertheless confident that you will return. Return you do, after coming up with a thousand excuses to convince yourself. Your Pizza person made you happy, that's all that matters, you say. So what if we are no longer who we used to be...change is the only constant.

and the game continues.

Now sit back and think...think long and deep.
Cholesterol deposits, weight gains, lethargic feelings....all's well till the pizza person is with you.

But is it really worth it? How long before the pizza person place shuts you down?

What will you do with all that cholesterol overload, that extra carry around weight, that lethargy and........no pizza? No relationship (neither friendship nor love) in life comes with a guarantee, except for the one you have with yourself.

So cherish yourself....

Do not over indulge...

and when realisation dawns or is made to dawn, make sure you hold on to it as tight as you can and  don't keep looking back.

This year, I have decided to avoid all kinds of overwhelming influences in my life. I have decided not to allow others control my feelings and emotions. I have decided to include more of the 'whole grain and brown bread' people. I will learn to enjoy their consistency and share their determination. I will accept them with their balanced personality and remind myself that life is not always a crazy ride but better a steady journey.
Hitherto, life has been pretty insane. But its time I got my act together and my priorities sorted.
Last night, waiting for the Nomino's delivery guy, yours truly unintentionally put a lot of her life in perspective, in her own quirky sort of tangential way, How much of the resolute will transpire in the days to come, that we have to see.
But one thing is for sure...you, my friends, will definitely know all about it! :)

Love deeply, truly and passionately...

But start with yourself.

and yum bake!!!

Here's hoping we never have to be completely sure...
Here's wishing us all a super duper spectacularly fabulous and fantastically happy 2014 :)

Love and lots of crazy times together,
yours truly

Tu na jaane aaspaas hai khuda...

I was traveling back home the other day, when a familiar sight passed by my line of vision. There were a bunch of people gathered near a small shrine around the corner. Most were lighting votive candles, offering fragrant agarbathies, fresh flowers and fruit to the deity, while some others were bowing their heads and silently praying. Passing cars slowed down as they approached the spot and the occupants would either descend from the commute or offer their respect by folding palms. It was just then that my cell phone beeped indicating I had received one new e-mail. When I distractedly checked my inbox, I saw that the mail was about the Pure Pray contest run by Cycle Pure Agarbathies. Smiling at the bizarre coincidence, I decided there and then that I would participate and submit my entry before the mentioned deadline.

Back home, the incident had got me started thinking along the same lines. They say that prayers offered at this particular shrine (the one I had mentioned earlier) are surely answered, and it is for this very reason that this roadside temple is always inhabited by tourists and locals, alike. I remember, during my student days in Medical College, I would always halt there and say a special prayer to either postpone the exam or make me fare well in them. 99% of the times, either one of the two would happen thereby reinforcing my faith in the popular belief associated with the temple and the positive power of prayer.

I remember how my mom had first explained to me the meaning of prayer. I was six then, a hyperactive brat and to top it, one who was highly inquisitive..
"How do I pray?" I had asked, wondering if there were any specific instructions to be followed for God to answer my prayers. I had seen my mother have a fresh bath early in the morning, drape her self in a crisp cotton saree, tie a towel around her freshly washed hair, and enter the puja roon, chanting the names of what seemed to my young ears, a million different Gods. Afraid that God would not grant me the dream doll-house I'd so badly wanted as a birthday gift if I did not pray right,  I sullenly complained to my mother that I did not know any chant or 'shloka' to appease the Gods with.
"There is no correct or wrong way to pray, dear. These are all but different names of the same God. Don't you worry----speak to him like you would speak to a friend. A friend who will protect you and guide you through every phase of life. Just remember him and he will be there," she patiently explained.
I liked that, a new friend for life. One that everyone prayed to, one whom all evil was afraid of, one that obstacles and hurdles fled from...I could speak to him like I spoke to my best friend from school. What fun!! So off I went, with a smile on my lips and a spring in my step, convinced that I now possessed the sacrosanct secret that would simply the complicated versions of all the mighty shloka and chants in the world...and it actually did...

I now started pestering God with all the nitty gritty details of my life. What happened at school, who snatched my compass box, which teacher treated me well and who didn't, what I wanted for my upcoming birthday, everything was discussed and debated upon with great gusto.
As I grew up, topics of conversation varied. My demands turned more complex. My complaints got more adamant. My tantrums more unpredictable. But HE listened. HE always listened.
Each time I had something to tell him, I would simply close my eyes and call out to him. A strange sense of calmness has never ceased to fill me when I do that.  Even today, all I have to do is close my eyes and believe he is right in front of me. That is the beauty of prayer. It forms an instant connection with the almighty by helping you peep into the deepest corner of your soul, because that is where God truly resides.

Over the years, I came to realise that God has another name...conscience. I learnt that I can stay in touch with that small muffled voice inside me, only if I try and listen to it. Praying taught me to recognise that voice, to lend a patient ear to it and comply. This made me far more patient and understanding, in that way prayer in itself is a meditative practice which works wonders for self improvement. As a matter of fact, prayer is far stronger than meditation, because in prayer, we seek comfort in an entity far stronger than our selves; that higher source of power becomes the support system that we lean on.
Prayer is a thought, a belief, a feeling that is born from the faith that grows within us, faith in a supreme force that will protect us, guard us and save us against all calamities.
I now pray because it helps me connect with this force. It reinforces my belief that there is someone who will always take care of me and my loved ones. It strengthens my faith in love and forgiveness. It provides me a venting board to admit all my weaknesses and hence improve upon them. It convinces me that words are not always needed to express what I feel, that my prayers are understood even through the silence.
Praying is simple. It does not require a particular time. During my school days, I would think that prayer had fixed timings; It was almost a ritual---the early morning assembly at school where we would start the day with a morning prayer, and  the 'night time prayer' before going to bed. But with age and maturity, I have come to understand that prayer does not have to be a compulsory ritual. I pray whenever I think of HIM. I say a quick prayer when I'm afraid...when I'm in any sort of threat or danger...when I want a little impromptu wish to be granted....and sometimes just to say 'Thankyou'.
When there is something weighing down my conscience I pray for forgiveness.Its the sure shot way of finding the much needed peace of mind that we strive so much to attain. When something good comes my way, I say a quick 'Thankyou' just to show how grateful I am. I must admit that I forget sometimes. Human as we are, we often forget to say 'Sorry' and 'Thankyou' but rest assured, he understands. That is the connection prayer creates--a cosmic relation with a much higher force that
helps us attain inner peace and tranquility, forgives us, heals us and gives us reasons to be grateful for.
In fact, that is the main reason why I pray. I pray because I know HE is listening...
We might not see HIM, but HE is always around...

Last but not the least, I pray for the well being of my fellow Indians, my country, my family, my loved ones and my own self. It is this well being that my future and the future of millions of interconnected lives depend upon.
I pray for each and every person who has helped me in any way, no matter how small. It is because of them that I have managed to take tiny steps towards achieving whatever I have today.
I pray for them whom I might have unknowingly wronged and those who have unknowingly wronged me. It is they who have helped me grow up in ways that they (or at times, even me) are not even aware of.
I pray for you. It is you who reminds me how much I could love...once.

Beckoning like rays of the morning sun,

as each dark night turns to a new day,

is the gratitude and hope we hold so dear,

                                               that makes us bow before HIM and pray...

In a country like ours where there reside people of diverse religions, castes, sub castes, there is no dearth of festivals to celebrate. No matter how diverse our culture and traditions may be, the basic essence of all religious festivals is the same---heart felt prayer. We are thus united by the same Almighty, the same Ganpati Bappa, the same Allah.
Ask any Indian and he will be willing to celebrate every festival as his own. Whether it is Diwali, Christmas or Eid, all occasions are thoroughly enjoyed and reverently regarded. These festivals form an integral part of our lives and give us reason to stay together.
But in today's busy world, we often find ourselves weighed down by the stress and strain of lives to indulge wholeheartedly in these festivities. We often find the responsible members of the family running to and fro, to buy all the essentials of the pooja---the flowers, the agarbathies and other paraphernalia. Something or the other gets left out at the last moment, as a result of which there is undue chaos, dampening the festive atmosphere.
For all those who are thinking of Diwali and already heaving a huge sigh on reading the above, fear not. There is good news for all us stress magnets. Cycle Pure Agarbathies presents Sampoorna Lakshmi Pooja Pack---a simple and tension-free pooja, brought together, complete and made-easy. This is a pack that includes everything you would need to perform the Lakshmi Pooja. This pack contains all basic materials required for the pooja as mentioned in the Skanda Purana. The booklet (scripted in 6 languages) and audio CD have the procedure, necessary shlokas and Shree Vinayak Ashtottarashata Naamaavali for performing the pooja. This pack comes with instruction booklet & CD, so that you can recite the shloka along with the CD.
This Lakshmi Pooja Pack would also serve as a very good gift for someone who is recently married or someone living away from home or abroad. Your friends and near ones would bless you for this convenient and perfectly organized idea.

As for me, I plan to make this Diwali a stress free one, one that is perfectly coordinated, easily arranged, filled with oodles of fun, lots of prayers, tons of blessings and loads of love.

Wish You All A Very Happy, Healthy And Prosperous Diwali! :)

May all our prayers be answered,
and may we never run out of reasons to say 'Thankyou'...

Dr Pri and Ms Hide (a repost)

Recently, there were some jabs directed towards me, subtly hinting at the 'enigma' status I have been designated by some highly esteemed writers around here.
There was this one comment which particularly stayed with me for a long time, more since it was coming from someone I had not really expected from.
"Where is it that you wear a mask, on the blog or outside it?"

Frankly i do not like explaining myself to others. I have always felt that you need to explain something only when you think the other person is not smart enough to figure it out on his/her own.

Anyhoo, for the good of mankind and for the future of the planet which is dying a little everyday out of curiosity,  I will oblige!! *opens her self-research material*

Well, those of you who follow my blog regularly will know me as quite the stuck up fool who thrives mainly on nostalgia and sentiments.
Those who have personally met me outside the blog world, would claim I am too much of a fun loving enthusiast to ever take life that seriously. The confusion however arises when someone who knows me from outside the blog suddenly discovers my blog link and decides to give it a read.
It is for this very reason, that some of my closest friends and kin refrain from reading 'nostalgic moments'--that in their opinion, is their way of avoiding confusion as, in the words of a very wise friend, "ignorance is bliss"

Yes, these are the kind of shameless people who deprive me of my share of attention (by not following my blog) & prefer to stick to the picture they have built of me rather than cloud it with unnecessary interference from something which could very well be written off as a piece of 'fiction' or claimed to be so (I'm not complaining though--in a way, I like the way they think. *grin* )

"How can YOU write such emotional stuff?" is a question I have often been probed on by some of my real-life (for lack of a suitable word) friends.
Another one I encounter a lot, is the famous "Whoaa!! Are you the same Pri who writes 'Nostalgic Moments'" (this is usually after a few days of interaction with fellow bloggers--which does make me wonder at times, what kind of chronically depressed (read 'Meenakumari') personality my blog might be projecting)

So today, I have decided to unravel the mystery, and let you in on a little secret---the secret of doctor 'pri' and miss 'hide' *drumrolls in the background*

Ardent admirers of Linda Goodman have jumped with rapturous ecstasy muttering "Hail Linda" amidst muffled smirks, after getting to know I come from the 'Gemini woman' astro clan.
There was a point wherein I too had almost started believing everything she said, until one day I read of the infidel and manipulative tendency she claimed Gemini women to portray. So being a staunch loyalist and one with a intact value system at that, the book went flying straight into the dustbin and Linda was shown the middle finger.

Anyhoo, there are certain things which are rather true of a Gemini (only all the good things she has to say..ahem!) which was what stopped yours truly from making an effigy of Goodman and burning it down.
Oops sorry, lets not digress. So, where were we?

Oh yes, the story of "Dr Pri and Ms hyde Hide"

Now, please do not be confused by the title bestowed since this "Ms Hide" (nope!! it is not a typo..i mean HIDE when i write hide) is nothing like the much infamous "Mr Hyde" we all have read about.

In fact she is pretty much the contrary, and that is where her flaws start..Sigh!

'Miss hide' is someone who seeks solace in hiding from everything (Yea..I know, pretty self explanatory. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.).

She is pretty much what you would call an 'escapist'.
Give her a situation she can't handle and she would slip into her shell, open up her diary and do what she does best--scribble furiously.

'Dr Pri' on the other hand, is the strong headed woman who makes her grand and esteemed appearance usually while lecturing others. She is the agony aunt to all her friends, the one whose advice they seek, the one with the strong belief system and self respect large enough that it can be sometimes mistaken for ego.
She sometimes writes on 'nostalgic moments' too (like she agreed to do today)..but its usually 'Ms Hide' that requires the space as a venting board.
However it has been noticed that Dr Pri is the one who roams all over Facebook and Blogsville, posting in strong headed comments telling people to move on, not brood over the past....yada yada....yada...

Yes, I know what you guys must be thinking--why doesn't Dr Pri advice Ms Hide then, isn't it?

Well, of course she does..she lectures Ms Hide for long hours after which the timid Ms Hide seems all empowered and strong enough to slay a dragon--but in just a few hours, the miserable wretch that she is, suffers a relapse and gets back to her usual demure self again.

Humour?? Ahhh!! That is Dr Pri's sharpest weapon. She knows how to use the lethal combination of sarcasm and wit which helps her take the lead in many a debates/arguments.
But bring her face to face with a loved one, and she is rudely shoved aside by our Ms Hide who remains tongue tied and lost, silently weeping like a depressed cow long after the war is over, while Dr Pri gags at the sight.
Nevertheless, both of them have to work in coordination--that is how the rule goes. Ms Hide cannot make an entry while Dr Pri is talking, and the same holds true the other way around. There are some occasions where Dr Pri refuses to budge inspite of being pushed violently by Ms Hide. She stands firm and lashes out fire even with a loved one as opponent.

But alas!! More often than not, the drama queen that Ms Hide is, makes Dr Pri pay for it hours after the spite is over--she cries, she weeps, she cribs, she rants, she writes, she blogs like a crazy maniac, and much to Dr Pri's embarrassment, she finds herself left helpless and with a heavy head, all thanks to her idiotic alter's antics.
Ohh wait, Ms Hide isn't all that bad though. She is just more of a coward unlike the brave Dr Pri, her alter ego is. Ms Hide flees away from emotions which Dr Pri keeps trying to understand and reason with.

Ms Hide is terrified of love, while the dreamer that Dr Pri is, promises never to give up on her unrealistic (written by miss hide & cancelled by dr pri) ideals.
Ms Hide constantly fears expectations and their consequences, while Dr Pri is not afraid to face them.
Ms Hide is often found building walls around herself, which Dr Pri is busy toppling over.
Ms Hide is the one who is running away from addictions from fear of dependency, while Dr Pri strives to overcome them.
(In fact, it is Ms Hide who keeps deactivating Facebook/email accounts, and Dr Pri, who convinces her to return from the short spells of hibernation..sigh!)

At times, Ms Hide is found sulking all day, sulking over the past, sulking over decisions she cant change, sulking over the 'why's and 'if only's..sulking..sulking..sulking.
That is when Dr Pri decides to take things in her hands, goes up to Ms Hide, and gifts her one tight slap, succeeding in getting her right back to her senses.

Dr Pri is often found rolling her eyes at the entries Ms Hide posts. She hates it when people feign concern, and believes in sorting out her issues all by herself.
Ms Hide, on the other hand, loves to be pampered..
She, most often than not, misses to notice the thin line between fake pleasantries and genuine concern.
She often wears her heart on her sleeve, is easily upset with words just as easily as she falls in love with them, is sensitive to the moodswings of the ones she loves and had it not been for her alter ego (Dr Pri), would have had to be institutionalized for therapy by now.

Dr Pri has seen a lot in life. She is observant. She is perceptive. She is practical and she understands.
She is not searching for a shoulder to cry on, gets easily tired with people who sulk all the time, think that they should grow up, lives for the present. She has a firm grip on her reality and yet has always fought it, her own way.
She knows that there is good just as there is evil in every in the world and has made peace with that.
Ms Hide knows that too, but she thinks she would be able to change the evil, and when she realises she cannot, she goes away..shies off..hides herself, clinging onto a sense of failure until her alter decides to take things in her hands, and drags her out of the phase making her understand that she has to value herself first to be valued by others.

It doesn't help for too long though. Ms Hide sees what she wants to. She is emotional and sensitive. She thinks with her heart and is disappointed easily. She is a kid in denial who keeps hiding from any sort of conflict, who gives up almost always a little too soon, who worries about the future--a little too much, is terrified of emotions-yet surrenders to them and keeps running from reality in a futile attempt to hide from it.

The differences between them do not stop here though. Dr Pri and Ms Hide are pretty different on a more superficial level too.
Ms Hide loves to dress up in traditional attire, has a penchant for trinkets and jewellery. She usually seizes the chance to dress up for occasions, to wear makeup. She hates it if one strand of hair is out of place or if she gains an ounce of extra weight--not that she'd do much to change it, but of course she would SULK!!
She also loves receiving compliments--almost addicted to them. She'd get all conscious if no one compliments her. She would get conscious if people over compliment her too, but that is an altogether different story..lol!!
Dr Pri, on the other hand, lives in a pair of jeans and a tee most of the times. She prefers living like a gypsy and thinks that she sets the trend. She hates early morning showers, doesn't see the logic in cleaning up her wardrobe, will be found sporting a just-woken-up look with curls of hair falling all over her face and when caught, she would just pass it off as the latest style and even concoct a name & story to justify it. Compliments do not affect her just as much as criticism doesn't.She is much too deep to be affected with superficial charm & believes that true beauty is skin deep.
However she has mastered the art of disappearing and pushing the more socially acceptable Ms Hide forward, as and when the situation and company demands her.
Smart that she is, she claims that she would never want to be caught dead looking inappropriate except in her nightmares, but those who know her well would know that she wouldn't really mind going to her own wedding in a pair of denims and a not-so-ironed Kurti.
She is weird like that, but at complete ease with her weirdness.

So while Ms Hide with all her self concocted and unaccepted flaws manages to scarcely like herself, Dr Pri brags about being 'Perfection Personified' and considers her own self as her most favorite person. 

So now you see how it all makes sense?

Ahem!! What about me, you ask? I'm pretty comfortable being them both. In fact I think my life wouldn't feel normal had one to go missing. Some might attribute it to my gemini star sign, while some might say im just confused about what i really want in life.

Well, what can i say but----

Voices in my head...

Alters in my soul...

Some days are blue,
some days rock n roll!!

;D~~~~;D~~~~;D~~~~;D~~~~;D~~~~;D~~~~;D~~~~;D~~~~

Err..some might think I'm pretty schizophrenic to write this, and miss the whole point of the post.

What-e-ver!!

So long as your confusion is sorted, people..so long as your confusion is sorted ;-))

As a parting note, all i can suggest is to try searching for your 'psychological alters' too, and accept them both.
They help strike a balance in life and keep you feeling human. *smiles*

So here's to peace and self improvement,

Cheers!!