October 05, 2010

a rendezvous of a different kind...

I see her every day..but today, she looked different..different from her usual self.
on any other day, i would have overlooked this but perhaps today, i had the time---time to spend with her..time to take notice..

she said nothing and yet there was something about her which told me what exactly she was feeling--as if quietly giving out all the secrets locked in her heart.

the lines on her forehead signified that she had so many questions to ask and yet she had given up on them being answered..
the smile on her lips was sardonical---one which wouldn't quite reach her eyes..

she had a tired look on her face....she looked tired...tired from running...as if to say she was running away from something which was trying hard to keep pace with her.

her droopy eyes said that she hadn't slept last night...maybe last so many nights....and yet there was a strange solace in them which said that she had gotten used to the deliberate self inflicted routine..

she seemed like just another face lost in the crowd..preparing to nurture in herself, enough strength to resist all the blows life had been offering and yet trying to be happy.
she seemed like someone who had discovered life and along with it the fact that it is so difficult to actually 'live'.
she seemed so much of a juvenile who was trying to come out of her world of fairytales but believing that they still exist somewhere.
yet she seemed like a woman who had seen enough to convince herself that life doesn't always come with a 'happily ever after' ending.

she seemed a bit like all of these and yet not enough of any one of them.

i met her again today...we shared an awkward silence--undisturbed..uninterrupted---a silence which said a lot.

i did not want to intervene this time..i just wanted to stand face to face with her and notice...something i had never done before maybe due to lack of time or interest or perhaps both.
is it that i'd moved away...moved apart??
could i in some way, be responsible for this disintegrated personality---her fragmented identity?
have i been neglecting her..ignoring her..avoiding her??
is it just life or am i also responsible for piling up the mess she is in??

Today, i noticed the child in her..the woman in her....the optimist...the pessimist...the fighter...the loser in her..so many shades which had gone unnoticed..

...and it felt as if i had never before in my entire life met her---this stranger in the mirror!!

writers note: wont be around for a while..seems like the stranger in the mirror needs a little of my undivided attention and i think it is my duty to oblige---i owe her that much...
I will be back though and hopefully, sooner than you think!! ;)


rantravereflect/ jane said...

:) take good care of the stranger in the mirror! n come bak soon :D

Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

nahhiiiiiiii... take care !!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

next time we see you around, just try that that stranger is no longer 'A stranger'.

Best of luck.

Nidz said...

Grt post! I first thot a guy is talking to a girl. Never thot she is talking to herself :|

I knw u wil be back soon, this s whr u belong :)

Anonymous said...

almost bought tears in my eyes , very deep....... we ignore the one in the morror the most and yet live every moment of our life around it !

niki said...

come back soon :(

Pri said...

@ all
thanks :)
am going through a bit of a major crossroads 'jumble' phase (on the professional as well as on the personal front)---hence the need of the break to sort things out and hopefully reach a definite conclusion this time..please wish me luck!

Vagabond said...

good luck!

Anonymous said...

i miss reading ur blogs.i hope u decide to come back soon

aditi said...

Wow! What a post. You really have the gift of expressing thoughts which probably we all feel/think at some point in life.

Iriz said...

such a great post pri! yeah, the stranger should take time till she find herself again. it's going to be a great journey for sure! back with boost! have a great day!

Sneha Balraj said...

WHOA! You gonna leave so many followers bereft? You can't be so cruel! Waiting!