August 29, 2006

and life goes on!!

Once again, i find myself at the crossroads of life!!
Why doesent life cease to confuse me even though ive given up on it??
Why does it still come up with new surprises and makes them even more obvious exactly when im tryin to ignore thm??
Why does it put forward choices wch i dont feel like making anymore n yet dont feel like losing??
True! life gets all the more complex wth each coming day n the confusions never cease...
Sometimes i wonder, rnt we even given the right to make the smallest decisions of our lives?? nothin seems to be in our hands, in our control...yet we often like to believe we can do something about it...
A simple arguement brought about many a realisations today...a simple conversation made me think a lot about the way i am wth the people around me...maybe all im doing is neglecting those who caree soo much for those who dont at all...those were the exact words n they stung!! stung bad! ...
because somewhr i knew they might be true!
Asif things werent enough, i was lectured on how i hav this superinferiority complex tht makes me feel tht i cant deserve any good and how i doubt life whn it brings pleasant surprises along...yeah right!!Next il'l be told im crazy n ahud be admitted in some asylum...hmph!
Life these days is all about i shud get rid of my trust issues , how i should believe in love,.perhaps also..easter bunny .tooth fairy..n santaclaus too...(no?? err i thought the rest wud follow!!)
And thn if ive changed soo much, why do i still care? why does it still hurt to see a close friend goin away? why does it still sting when someone proposes to me n i hav to say tht i probably cant tk it more than a good friendship??why is thr still a probably?? why do i still get misty eyed when i watch those "ultra corny" movies wch always manage to hav a happy ending??why dont i no longer believe in happy endings??? why has my faith in "good things happen to good ppl" dwindled soo much??

Why does it hit when my family says ive changed?? why dont i hav anything to say when ppl ask me for explanations, reasons and advice...even though i did hate it soo much myself once upon a time?? why do i go back to being the old pri,vulnerable, naive,ultrasensitive sometimes n thn have to remind myself tht im not the same anymore n tht ive changed???
AND thn yet again, why do i still wonder bout life...

juss goin with the flow, takin each day as it comes...
juss hopin i dont get swept away too far...:)


Ekta said...

thats the best way to handle it...go with the flow...but dotn forget to swim!
and well u seem a lot like me...doubting life when it actually brings happiness...looking at it as if "what bad is going to come next"!....
But sometimes we need to give god a benefit of let time take u to ur destination!

Sree said...

:-). That is life my dear.. it happens with everyone and everyone goes this one time or the other, but the cloud will pass and sun will shine brighter :-)).

Tejas said...

On Hrishida's death eve, your blog entry reminds me of the wonderful Anand song..."Zindagi kaisi hai paheli hai...kabhi yeh hasaye...kabhi yeh rulaye". It is indeed a riddle. And the silver lining is never too far!

Anonymous said...

thats exactly what needs to be done..taking life as it comes!:-)...sometimes its worse to have more choices than to have rather have no choices sometimes...but hey like everything else this too is a phase...just take it in ur stride and let the pieces fall in place by themselves!

Twisted DNA said...

Looks like you are going through the pains everybody has to go throug at one time or the other. We change and hope things around us won't change :)

Anonymous said...

part of life...and everyone goes through just live it up!!

nice new template :)

The Unpaid Analyst said...

take life one day at a time...there is no point in planning...u plan and think that u have finally found a way to succeed in life and start relaxing thats when fate shovels mud in ur take it easy and tell the world to go to hell

Pri said...

@ ekta
guess u r rite ekta, lets give god the benefit of doubt :)
guess time alone can tell wht the future holds :)

@ sush
hmm thanks for telling me im not alone sush :)
lets keep our fingers crossed thn n hope the dark clouds will go away ...

@ tejas
u r right buddy, "life is a mystery never to be solved" n it never stops springin new surprises at us...

@ anand
yes anand...true!
choices can juss add to the confusion n thn again they come searching for u exactly whn u r trying to run away frm thm ...:)
yess, trying to tk things in my stride...only time will tell if the pieces do actually fall in place or not! :)

Pri said...

@ twisted dna
hmm...guess u r right...but thn wht bout the times we dont change n the things around us do? :)
shud we change ourselves thn?? think about it!!

@ chandni
thanks chandni! u said it!! :(
c'est la vie...sigh!! c'est la vie...

@ nikhil thts some advice we all could use!!
thanks nikhil :)

Kartik Menon said...

its really amazing how much i agree with you on your last is amazing what all life makes us do...if you really want to see the futility of life watch a movie called "fiddler on the roof"....and do visit my blog if u get the time

Keshi said...

**Why does it hit when my family says ive changed?? why dont i hav anything to say when ppl ask me for explanations, reasons and advice

Pr no one stays the same with time. We all change and it's imp we change as long as it's not drastically. I dont always have answers/explanations either. But sometimes it's good to be like that than to b a know-it-all anyways.

Hugggggggz TC and keep smiling

Ashish Gupta said...

Pri said...

@ kartik menon
heyy nice to see u here kartik..guess its ur first visit to "nostalgic moments"...:)
n yeah, will definitely catch up on tht movie once i get the time...thanks

@ keshi
hmm keshi ...i guess u r right...sometimes not knowing the answers mite be the best thing happening to us...but thn why is it tht we never seem to realise it thn??? it seems soo frustrating to hav all those questions in ur mind, the answers to which ul'l never comprehend or never arrive at in the first place :(

Pri said...

@ ahshish

thanks for tht link did manage to get me smiling :)