April 18, 2009

what a bad IDEA sirjee!!

what do u get when u combine a superbad day with a supercrazy phone network???---a miserable ultrafrustrated feeling which makes u want to go mass killing all the ppl in IDEA and VODAFONE services ( which apparently are the two network parties facing the problem 8 out of 10 times) and then change into a superhero costume and topple all the towers in the network just to get even!

yess ive been having problems and major ones at that..phew!
problems which have been bruising my ego.
problems which have been humiliating me by making me scream "whaaaat? sorry i dint get that (again)" at the rate of an average 3-4 per minute.
problems which have made me consider going to an ENT specialist fearing the root cause might turn out to be something different than just a bad network! *shudders*
it was only when i could hear every word of the hushed conversation between a couple in CCD which 4 of my friends could'nt hear a word of, that i was convinced my ears were doing absolutely fine! hallelujah!!!

but ive been trying to desperately find some positive in the whole thing--learn from me, O depressed souls of the world, LEARN!! :-/

by the way do u think i could write a self-help book..do u? do u?? *rubbing palms in glee*

-----firstly, i have learnt wonderful ways (103 to be precise)of making someone repeat what they just said without knowing that its because i could'nt hear a word of what had been said the first time around.heehee
but unfortunately this always seems to fail when most needed--because it is times like these that the entire curiosity element just gets to me and the desperation clearly shows through a screeching wailing "whaaaaaaaaat?? i caaaaaannnnttt heeear youuu" now this initially worked a bit because that someone in question had a lot of patience and could mindread that i might suddenly collapse on the nearest possible thing in my room and burst out into angry tears, but like they say, patience like old shoes eventually wears off and understandably so after a long working day.
so now we have reached a point where i just get a cold "golden words are not meant to be repeated" (with a huge sigh to add to the effect)and no amount of screaming "its not MYYY fault" helps..hmpf!!

neways so where were we? ahh the positive that has come out of this NID (network induced deafness)
sigh! 103 ways fall short when it comes to some smart ppl i know :(

but on a much more serious and sentimental note, much to my irritation, exasperation, humiliation, frustration--i have realised that this is the best way to know who'd have patience enough to deal with me on those not so sunny side-walks of life...i mean imagine, what if i was actually hearing impaired or something?? or on a more realistic note, 50-55 yrs down the line, when i turn old and deaf, i would still be equally curious to know what ur saying and imagine i would pretty much be senile too at that time, and that phrase could have disastrous effect on my psyche--i would feel let down..sad..depressed...worthless..friendless...hopeless...DEAF!! noooooooooooooooooo!! *takes a deep breath and reminds herself that shes not there yet and that she should note down whom to pester at 70 without having to suffer a traumatic heartattack*

-----even though this has caused major issues and frustration at times, there are days when im utterly happy because im doing all the talking...i mean sure, the other person talks too but u know the story..sigh!
if the topic gets anywhere near things i dont want to hear or something rude or nasty is being said about me, (yea my friends are pretty direct about wht they think...noone cares about my feelings i toldya..sob sob!)then i just go and mask the sound by turning on the fan or something.
yeah trust me!! that is enough stimulus for the NID..so u can imagine how bad it is *goes into depression*

----have been having far lesser number of fights over issues which under normal (read 'sans NID')conditions, would have cropped up far more often...
but since im sure that my CNS wont be able to manage the strain after being exhausted enough in an attempt to guess those golden words, i have been avoiding even treading into that territory.pathetic phase of life isnt it?? *rolling eyes*
besides people can be awfully curt when they are upset or angry..who knows i might be labelled "DEAF" and the worst part is they might be screaming it in my face and i would be "WHAAT???? i cant hear you..whaaat did u say??"
uff!! chuck it..im better off without those issues being brought up..we've got newer issues to handle neways like "PHONE NETWORKS"

-----ok this one i dont know to be happy or sad about---my vocubulary has increased by atleast 245 swear words..its a different thing that they are being hurled at the IDEA admin guys only in the mind till now...but someday soon, when i get through their super-busy line, im sure they'd go crying home!! :-/

-----my phone bills will come down a notch i guess which isnt a too happy situation as well..its kinda like saying "il'l spend less money on booze now because ive been diagnosed with cirrhosis"..u get the drift dontya?

besides i have been contemplating going somewhere far away and abandoning my phone in the hope that itll save everyone having to say/hear "whaaat?" (i soo hate the word now i tell ya) the frustration...have also been contemplating going without a cellphone throughout my remaining life (u know the 'cool hermit' kinda way..whaddaya think? huh?huh??).
another terrible but strong option is flinging my cell phone against the wall and breaking it into tiny pieces so that i will never gather the courage to ask/buy another one after the lunatic act..
somehow my dad though is pretty amused with the idea and has been encouraging me to go with the second option..hmpf!!
besides there is a suspicious looking pauper in my family who has been eyeing my new phone for quite a while now and suggesting we trade phones since it could be the 'phone' and not the 'network' (the sole reason for me to believe tht it can never be the phone)---the evil mind of an older sibling i tellya!

ohh just in case u wondering and sniggering at me thinking im a fool to think this way when i can just change my network, then let me tell you---changing networks would mean having to change my number and im extremely, idiotically, totally sensitive about changing my number in a crazy kinda way (maybe its got to do with the fact that its been with me all these years through the thick and thin of life..in sickness and in health et al *ok before this sounds like marriage vows, i better stop*).
so to cut the long story short---save ur energy and dont suggest a network change..
and dont u dare say i am a sentimental fool, because what to do? we are like that only! :-/

anyways so here i am---stuck up with phone problems and now to add to it, the realisation that im just not cut out to write self-help books i guess..sigh!
no matter how much i try searching for the needle, i cant avoid gazing long at the hay and freaking out (ohh that reminds me the sun is shining a lil too much in goa these days and im literally melting..i wish i could just packup and go holidaying to the north pole or something.
maybe if that big fat man with the white beard really exists, i could ask him for a solution to this major phone-network-crisis---neways he'd be free till december.thats when the gift wrapping starts doesnt it?? *dreamy look*
*WARNING IN HEAD---u are digressing*

ok ok *pushes the warning sigh away and continues* so we were talking about the damn blasted @@$#%$%^#%%%$$ phone, network, IDEA, vodafone, NID, and poor little adamant-about-keeping-the-same-cellnumber-me, squashed amidst all this trying to figure out what exactly is responsible!

who can say when the network clears?
---only time..only time!!

and who can say what the ear fears?
--only time only time!!



Arv said...

You should just file a suit against the mobile operators for emotional agony :)

Anonymous said...


Lena said...

you know this "what" things is so familiar to me. Whenever I get calls from India the network decides to play jokes with me and if you add to that the different accents both parties try to deal with it makes the conversation quite funny at times with what - what from both sides :D

I hope your phone issues will clear soon :)

Anonymous said...

hi pri,
my first time here by random bloghopping.
i think this is the most adorable post i have read in a long long time :)

Sam said...

1. that's a wonderful song by enya!!
2. don't change, add a network :P
3. You'll never change. always the drama queen!!

Anywyz, don't blame vodafone, I used their services for more than 2 years, till I left India, and I had it real good. Something is wrong with your phone :P

I wud have loved to irritate you now. Maybe I will sometime soon. :D

enjoy your fight, and wot swear words did you learn exactly??

sid said...

Hmmmm....i never knew network service providers can also be some day prove to be a source of inspiration for a post;-))......N why is vodafone being blamed too;-))...m sure it isnt as much at fault......solution dhundo and then let me know too!..waiting...
PS:- Now if you are using this idea to actually guage how much patience people really have.....then...hmmm...well let me know who passes the bill on the patienve front;-))

The Furobiker said...

ohhh *makind saddest of the possible faces*

bhagwan pe bharosa rakho doc.. sab theek ho jayega.. tumhare network ko dawa ki nahi dua ki zaroorat hai...

give your fone steam every night, maybe it will clear up his throat

Anya said...

marry a guy who works in a mobile firm!!


varsha said...

thanks for reminding me of old times. i used to have similar problems while speaking to my husbad during our courtship period as ours was a long distance relationship.but the love only grew. :) :) :) :)

varsha said...

i forgot to sign in my previous comment.(im no stranger..i think u wud know me as liquidsoap from rediffblogs.remember????)

Stupidosaur said...

umm, if your phone came with earphones, use them. Their sound quality is better and it keeps the radiations from the phone away from frying your brain.

Or, have you tried simply increasing the volume of you phone? Worked for me till that mobile got stolen within few months ;)

Of course if you keep the volume too high, you will actually end up at the ENT's :P.

I guess Stupid springtime is finally coming to blogworld.
Stupidosaur emerges from his cold weather hibernation...

mohit said...


I used to have the same problem in a certain long distance thing once... and I had serious fights cuz she thought I was lying about it so often!
damn the phone networks! its like a road that always jammed when u need to reach some place fast!

maybe the gods will have mercy on you and bestow a solution soon


Pri said...

@ arv
now thats a good IDEA sirjee! :p

@ lena
i hope so too dear..i dont have any problems with the accent..just the damn network seems to mask the sound and the worst part is im heard loud and clear so u can imagine what it feels like..sob! :(
and to think im in india itsself...sigh!

@ anonymous
u found it adorable????? :o
i was actually cryingggggggg...sigh! strange are the ways of the world! :-/
neverthless if thats a way of making me feel any less horrible about the phn problem, then thanks.sigh!

@ sumit
///1. that's a wonderful song by enya!!///
i agree..its one of my favs :)

///2. don't change, add a network :P//
bery phunny!

///3) ull never change, always the drama queen!!///
what is life without a lil drama? :p
btw i dont like the usage of that word---'always' *makes a face at sumit*

and oye mr curious cat, everybody knows how to abuse..its just that some ppl like me dont fall in the category of foul mouthed losers who apparently think its cool to hurl them randomly without any reason...
but seems like these network providers have given me enough reason to add some more to the dictionary u know :p

and ohh btw must say u sure are a vodaphn loyalist..but u know times have changed since u left for london :p
who knows? so might have the netwrk quality!

Pri said...

@ sid
///Hmmmm....i never knew network service providers can also be some day prove to be a source of inspiration for a post;-))///
well..er..it wasent exactly the network providers who were the inspiration ;)

///N why is vodafone being blamed too;-))...m sure it isnt as much at fault......solution dhundo and then let me know too!..waiting///
well like i said before 'explaining the prob' mera kaam hain aur 'finding the solution'---that i usually leave to someone else (esp in this case) :p

///Now if you are using this idea to actually....who passes the bill on the patienve front;-))///
sure sure..trust me, ul be the first to know ;))

@ abhi
oyeee mere phone ki jaan lene ki koshish kar raha hain kya?? :o
im definitely going for a second opinion..i dont trust this doctor..hmpf!!

sumit said...

ah!! the loss of a priority customer :P

Pri said...

@ chronic writer
i kinda expected such a brilliant answer from ya :p
but then thrs a slight prob, the guy would know so much about phones and networks that he would probably be able to convincingly switch me to a much more awful one to save himself the phone bills :-/

@ varsha
sigh! that is sucha sweet story---perfect understanding despite an imperfect network!!
and ofcourse i remember u...its great to see u again!! :)

@ stupidosaur
///umm, if your phone came with earphones, use them. Their sound quality is better and it keeps the radiations from the phone away from frying your brain.///
hmm i think i will give this earphones thing a try..thanks!

///have you...increasing the volume of you phone?///
yus yus i have..dint work!
u think its time my mobile got stolen too? *evil plan formulating inside her head*

///Stupidosaur emerges from his cold weather hibernation...///
its great to have u back around here..what was the cause of the hibernation btw? its still summer.

Pri said...

@ mohit
///I used to have the same problem in a certain long distance thing once...she thought I was lying about it so often!
damn the phone networks!///
well then i guess the real prob was one of trsut not network :)

///maybe the gods will have mercy on you and bestow a solution soon///

@ sumit
i guess its high time! :-/

rahul said...

stop talking with yr vodaphone frnd for a change and tk time off yr busy schedule and shift to speaking to yr IDEA/airtel frnds instead.
(i know im going to be kicked for ths) :p

Anonymous said...

String PN = "Priyanka"
String Ear = "Working"
String Cell = "0"
String Display = "Good Girl"

If ( Cell=new cell OR Cell=Old Cell OR Cell=Any Cell AND Ear = NID OR Ear != Working )

flinging PN cell phone against the wall breaking it into tiny pieces so that PN will never gather the courage to ask/buy another one after the lunatic act;

System.Println (" Your Mobile Is Immobile");

System.Println ("Display");

A Germ

Pavi!!!! said...

Realllie?its that bad??reallie?

i remem when i used to be in india..the N/w used to suck whenever there were festivals n occassions like the New Year.. But this on a daily basis! Good lord!

i am VERY VERY VERY sensitive abt num change too.If i had my way..i wld pay a million$ to get my num transfered frm india to here in the us! i yet have my num saved for me in india..n i left the country more than 2 yrs back n donno when n if i ll come back there for good or not!

sri said...

Oh the Network problem!~! Makes you kill someone - I totally understand -When I make calls to india from my phone thats what I encounter - where my parents live there is no Airtel tower - They have to come out of the house to pick my call - NID is horrible - makes u give fist to the wall. It is at times we feel, I pay the damm company, I have my phone WHY WHY CANT I COMMUNICATE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ??!!!

Pri said...

@ rahul
aajkal u and A are putting too many HAJMOLA charges against me..baat kya hain? *raises an eyebrow*
tu bhi network walon ki tarah bakwas IDEA dene laga?? :-/

@ mr kitanu
oyee dimag ka dahi bana dala bidu :-/
waise bhi garmi mein bheja ubal raha hain aur upar se tera yeh binary system wala comment..
total bhejafry kar diya boss! :p

@ pavi!!
see great minds get senti alike ;)
its worse here because the network poses weird problems every day..its not just jammed networks :(
its TORTURE!! (woh bhi 3rd degree types)

@ srivats
u said it!!
totally my thoughts...its emosional atyachar redefined i tellya! :(

Đžidhi S said...

Great Post there girl :)

I agree with Arv. File a suit against them, if not for you at least the channels would get great masala to talk abt and you will get millions of people sending care wishes, speculating and u'll get all your solution from your very own media ppl. :)

Really feel bad, and sometimes I really want to throw away my phone too,its ringing irritates me dese days...humph.. but yeah cnt do that.

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