September 02, 2018

The secret power of a wallflower #MyFriendAlexa

I have often found myself grappling with self doubt and confusion of whether I can be labelled as an extrovert or an introvert.
As much I'd like to choose the best of both worlds and call myself an ambivert, I am aware that it would be choosing this would be a safe strategy of not taking any side--the fence sitter's solution, the diplomat's trick, the escapist's attitude to evade confrontation with the truth.

So what is the truth exactly? Well, it's not always black and white you see. There is this collosal mix-up of traits within me that make it difficult to choose one side. Before you ask, let me admit. I am a Gemini. Now does that make you understand me any better? Sigh!

While I'd talk my head off on most days, there would be times when I';d want to just crawl inside my shell and hibernate for as long as I want without being questioned or disturbed. Unfortunately, those unaware of the dual nature of a typical Gemini fail to understand this extremism. Those who know I like cheese cannot understand my attraction for chalk. And hence, I am the reason of mass hysteria and confusion amongst most of my friend groups.
But as much as I'd love to make this post all about me, I won't. Well, at least I won't make it all about me.

I have observed behavioral patterns for a while now, and have made some observations, based on which I am forced to conclude that introverts have it easier than extroverts.

Surprised? Here are the reasons why I think so...
1) Once identified and acknowledged, an introvert can slip in his/her comfort zone, and sit quietly judging people all he/she wants. As opposed to the extrovert who cannot enjoy the luxury of solitude without people wondering why he/she is behaving so abnormally silent?

2) When it comes to introverts, brevity of words is taken for introspection, retrospection, gyaan-yoga, meditation etc. He is labelled 'thinker' without even needing to be one. An extrovert however needs to be constantly on his toes, generating new ideas and thoughts. All this for the price of being called an 'entertainer'.

3) An introvert can say 'No' to parties, coffee conversation, dates, dinners, without upsetting anyone or hurting their feelings (because c'mon, that is what introverts are expected to do). An extrovert, on the other hand, on saying no is bound to have all ties broken for the next seven lives (because then it's not about them, it's about you.)

4) It is common myth and a popular assumption that introverts tend to be better listeners. (But I think this is an extremely unfair bias.)

5) An introvert changing into an extrovert is usually taken as a pleasant surprise, while an extrovert turning into an introvert, as a rude shock.

6) Introverts generally tend to be more self-reliant. As a consequence, they are exceptionally good at DIY skills due to their aversion towards group interaction.

So the nest time you think you are better than that person sitting quietly in a corner, nursing a coffee or reading a book (basically minding his/her own business), don't allow yourself, not even for a second, to feel all socially superior.
Sometimes the soul shattering silence of an introvert is much more eloquent than the blood curdling scream of an extrovert.

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Deliciously Alive said...

Your powerful title drew me to your post. As a fellow Gemini, I found myself nodding at all the points you mention here. Love your thoughts and words.

Sinjana said...

Loved this. Agreed to most of the statements about being a wallflower since I'm an introvert myself. I find this nature a disadvantage in the corporate field though. - Sinjana #BlogchatterSpotlight

Jayanthi said...

I think most people change over the course of their lives - from being a complete introvert to be being a moderate extrovert and some extroverts might become a little introverted too...

Richa Mina said...

You’ve summarised the positive aspect of your personality so well in this post. I liked it. Title is very catchy too. Great work

Pri said...

@ Deliciously Alive
Thanks dear. I am glad you concur :)
*HIGH FIVES* (from one Gemini to another)

Pri said...

@ Sirijana
Well, if you ask me, it's their loss if they judge you for being an introvert. Some of the best people I know are introverted in nature. So don't you ever change just because someone else is not comfortable with who you are...

Pri said...

@ Jayanthi
I agree. Life happens. We keep evolving. So introvert or extrovert, we might as well enjoy what we are at every moment! :)
No point trying to beat ourselves over what people think of will change their opinions too.

Pri said...

@ Richa
Thanks for taking out time to read me, Richa. Do visit again :)

dysfunctionalmind said...

Interesting post. You should check out Susan Cain's Quiet. I'm sure it will echo with your thoughts too. Thanks for sharing. :)
[@samantha_rjsdr] from
Whimsical Compass

Wanderer said...

Well said! Loved reading it

Namratha said...

Haha. I so enjoyed this post. I am a fence sitter myself. A selective extrovert but more of an introvert, perhaps? But doubt I can call into either category completely.

Anyways this post would convince me to sit quietly and read a book in a corner.

Namratha from #firstgreenstep #MyFriendAlexa

Latha said...

I am an introvert morphing into an extrovert... U defined my prior self well

tina said...

loved reading this. I was a major introvert at one time and then suddenly changed into an extrovert by the time i went to college. Now i guess I am a bit reserved!

Darshana said...

Intelligent title, powerful words,beautiful message...!