everytime she spoke to him,
a little more of her soul she bared...
and everytime he spoke to her,
he wondered if he really cared...
today shattered he sits and weeps,
defeated by an evil stroke of fate...
she lies there lifeless still in love,
he has realised he cares but a bit too late!!
August 16, 2009
August 14, 2009
15th august 2009
no matter how much we crib about the prevailing conditions in our country,
no matter how much we complain about the lacking government, corrupt politicians and slow progress,
no matter how far we stray away to different countries across different continents, the truth remains that our heart still belongs to INDIA and we are hell proud of it.
there is an undying confidence that the prevailing condition will improve and we will see better times..
there is a faith that we will succeed in fighting the inustice and united, we can and will emerge as a strong power for the world to see..a winner just like it had been on the 15th august 1947---a victory we will keep renewing every coming year.
there is a connection which attaches us to the place, the people back home..a connection so strong that it can easily topple over all the luxuries of life in a foreign land with the heartwarming music of just one desi ghazal bringing misty memories and a strong urge to just leave everything behind and head home.
yes that is what india is to us---amidst all the frustration, the poverty, the struggle to survive, the bomb attacks, the fears, the insecurities, the terror created by religious fanatics, there is still this one belief which over rules all these and gives us the courage to stand tall and fight against all the odds--the belief that INDIA is HOME.
here's wishing all indians not only in INDIA but world wide over, a very happy independence day.
JAI HIND!!
August 11, 2009
confirmed yet confused!
there comes a point when you find you have had enough of everything...of love..of friendship...of emotions..and the drama that life brings along.....
you dont care what would hurt anymore because uve been through all the bullshit and after having tolerated it for more than what you thought u could, you realise that you just cant take it any longer...and all you need is a moment to realise this.
however the tough part is how long after does this 'moment' arrive?
Neverthless, sooner or later--it does!
and that so-called moment my friends, is when you actually start living for YOURSELF!
im afraid im somewhere very very close but the problem is i really dont know whether to be happy or sad about it.
you dont care what would hurt anymore because uve been through all the bullshit and after having tolerated it for more than what you thought u could, you realise that you just cant take it any longer...and all you need is a moment to realise this.
however the tough part is how long after does this 'moment' arrive?
Neverthless, sooner or later--it does!
and that so-called moment my friends, is when you actually start living for YOURSELF!
im afraid im somewhere very very close but the problem is i really dont know whether to be happy or sad about it.
August 06, 2009
the "I" tag...
Adi, once again has tagged me with this one..so here goes:
1. I am listening to...Farida khanums 'aaj jaane ki zid na karo'
2. I talk...quite a lot!
3. I love...walking on the thin line between fiction and reality and so i write!
4. My best friends....are those who i know are always there for me, no matter what i say or do!
5. Love is...strange!????!!!!
6. Somewhere, someone is thinking...that i still care as much as i once did when the truth is i really dont!
7. I'll always...have nostalgic moments
8. The last time I really cried was because...of something which really hurt my feelings
9. My cell phone...is low on battery most of the time
10. When I wake up in the morning...i usually feel i was better off sleeping
11. Before I go to bed...i think about the day that has passed and make a new decision for the one that is coming
12. Right now I am thinking about....stories which can have neither a beginning nor an end
13. Babies are...tiny happy people who poop all the time but are oblivious of what bigger mess lies ahead in life
14. I miss...an old chapter of comfortable memories
15. Today I...wonder how the 'book' will end!
16. Tomorrow I will be...remembered and missed for what i am today!
17. I really want to be...just a little teeny weeny bit
18. I can...but i wont! *yawn*
19. I cant stand anyone who is...dual-faced to the extent of being manipulative just as much as i hate liars!
20. I tag...whoever wants to take up this tag! (i know tags are a pain to many.so no compulsions)
August 04, 2009
and the song of the moment is...
"dil ne hum se jo kahaa, hum ne waisaa hee kiyaa,
phir kabheee fursat se sochenge, buraa thaa yaa bhalaa..
zindagi khwaab hain, khwaab mein,
jhooth kya, aur bhalaa sach hain kya..
sab sach hain"
SIDENOTE: naaaawww im not drunk..just a little senti! :-/
August 01, 2009
its complicated
A recent meetup with four close friends had us talking about social networking sites after around three hours of talking about everything else we could possibly think of.
after dissecting them piece by piece, talking about the various pro's and cons, the interference of ppl u dont really want interfering, the stupid quizzes we keep taking to kill time and the random crappy stranger requests i decided to raise the hottest topic and current obsession of everyone who joins these sites--the curiosity factor particularly about the relationship status.
while one friend admitted that facebook is now only restricted to curiosity element, another pointed out that the update about relationship status in these networks are never to be trusted..hmm..interesting!
the discussion further delved into the reasons for his controversial comment.and what followed was a huge animated discussion about the in-depth analysis of the human psyche which went something like this---
in a relationship status update on a social networking site,
what does "single" actually mean?
R: "ohh it means the person could be single" (please note here the usage of the words 'could be')
ME: "well, there are so many people out there who are committed and yet update their status as single.its mostly because of the insecurity in the relationship"
S: "it could also be the poor guy/girl is contemplating a breakup u know--benefit of doubt"
T: "i dont see anything wrong in that..why does he have to declare to the world that he/she is single..its none of their business"
what does "committed" actually mean?
R: "ohh it means that the person could or could not be committed" (yeah u guessed right.R is a lawyer and believes in sitting on the fence even if it means he gets a sore ass in the bargain.he is also the most skeptical human on this part of the globe).
ME: "ohh i think il'l agree with R.it does'nt say much..maybe the person is actually in a relationship or maybe he wants everyone in the whole wide world to believe he is in one"
S: "maybe the guy really wants to be in one and the person he is interested in, doesn't really believe him..so u know..just to prove a point or something" (ok insert a full volume laugh track here with S being the only person with a serious expression making us all doubt the reason behind his recent status change)
T: "it could also be possible that this guy or girl has gone through a recent breakup and wants to show his ex that he has already moved on.huh? huh?"
what does "married" mean?
R: after a long pause "means he/she is married"
ME: "means he/she is married..period!"
S: "it means 'buddy im doomed..im married!'"
T: "it means married and brave enough to accept the fault"
(phew! ok atleast we have an unopposed vote on the honesty of this option)
what does "open relationship" mean?
R: "it means that there are no strings attached.u live your life your way and i will live mine and dont expect fidelity, monogamy or the stuff relationships are actually supposed to be made of from me.my opinion--all good until one of them falls in love with the other--the other to whom it still is an open relationship..
that is when, my friend an open relationship becomes a CLOSED one!"
ME: "i wont judge anyone going for this.but personally i dont believe in open relationships.i think its just an excuse to have your share of fun--be commitment free and guilt free too!"
S: "wait! we are missing the point..why update it as a relationship status?and can a person have more than one open-relationship at the same time??" (goes into a dream like state while we leave him behind and carry on the conversation)
T: "well i dunno what to say..atleast they are being honest about everything.so both parties are in the know! its their choice after all.its better than being cheated on isnt i?" (we had to agree that was a valid point)
and now last but not the least *drumrolls in the background*
what does "complicated relationship" mean?
R: "it means that the guy or girl is the most honest person in the world..all relationships at some point are complicated.and thats easy to believe.."
ME: "and not to forget if he is contemplating a breakup, it will get complicated in a while ..so again justified! and the last option, if he wants to prove a point to his sweetheart who does not believe him enough, then its soo TOTALLY complicated.so there!!"
S: "yeah, besides if he is single, that means he/she either has not found the right person or doesn't want to which again makes it kinda complicated."
T: "ohh and just in case he is married, its still easier..its definitely complicated after marriage!"
and just like that, four friends sitting in CCD one rainy afternoon, came to the perfect conclusion of the perfect relationship.
its kinda sad that they still stick to the universal more socially acceptable and comprehensible versions when it comes to their own profiles..
but deep down in their hearts they know that there is in reality, just one unanimous relationship status which sums them all---COMPLICATED!!
after dissecting them piece by piece, talking about the various pro's and cons, the interference of ppl u dont really want interfering, the stupid quizzes we keep taking to kill time and the random crappy stranger requests i decided to raise the hottest topic and current obsession of everyone who joins these sites--the curiosity factor particularly about the relationship status.
while one friend admitted that facebook is now only restricted to curiosity element, another pointed out that the update about relationship status in these networks are never to be trusted..hmm..interesting!
the discussion further delved into the reasons for his controversial comment.and what followed was a huge animated discussion about the in-depth analysis of the human psyche which went something like this---
in a relationship status update on a social networking site,
what does "single" actually mean?
R: "ohh it means the person could be single" (please note here the usage of the words 'could be')
ME: "well, there are so many people out there who are committed and yet update their status as single.its mostly because of the insecurity in the relationship"
S: "it could also be the poor guy/girl is contemplating a breakup u know--benefit of doubt"
T: "i dont see anything wrong in that..why does he have to declare to the world that he/she is single..its none of their business"
what does "committed" actually mean?
R: "ohh it means that the person could or could not be committed" (yeah u guessed right.R is a lawyer and believes in sitting on the fence even if it means he gets a sore ass in the bargain.he is also the most skeptical human on this part of the globe).
ME: "ohh i think il'l agree with R.it does'nt say much..maybe the person is actually in a relationship or maybe he wants everyone in the whole wide world to believe he is in one"
S: "maybe the guy really wants to be in one and the person he is interested in, doesn't really believe him..so u know..just to prove a point or something" (ok insert a full volume laugh track here with S being the only person with a serious expression making us all doubt the reason behind his recent status change)
T: "it could also be possible that this guy or girl has gone through a recent breakup and wants to show his ex that he has already moved on.huh? huh?"
what does "married" mean?
R: after a long pause "means he/she is married"
ME: "means he/she is married..period!"
S: "it means 'buddy im doomed..im married!'"
T: "it means married and brave enough to accept the fault"
(phew! ok atleast we have an unopposed vote on the honesty of this option)
what does "open relationship" mean?
R: "it means that there are no strings attached.u live your life your way and i will live mine and dont expect fidelity, monogamy or the stuff relationships are actually supposed to be made of from me.my opinion--all good until one of them falls in love with the other--the other to whom it still is an open relationship..
that is when, my friend an open relationship becomes a CLOSED one!"
ME: "i wont judge anyone going for this.but personally i dont believe in open relationships.i think its just an excuse to have your share of fun--be commitment free and guilt free too!"
S: "wait! we are missing the point..why update it as a relationship status?and can a person have more than one open-relationship at the same time??" (goes into a dream like state while we leave him behind and carry on the conversation)
T: "well i dunno what to say..atleast they are being honest about everything.so both parties are in the know! its their choice after all.its better than being cheated on isnt i?" (we had to agree that was a valid point)
and now last but not the least *drumrolls in the background*
what does "complicated relationship" mean?
R: "it means that the guy or girl is the most honest person in the world..all relationships at some point are complicated.and thats easy to believe.."
ME: "and not to forget if he is contemplating a breakup, it will get complicated in a while ..so again justified! and the last option, if he wants to prove a point to his sweetheart who does not believe him enough, then its soo TOTALLY complicated.so there!!"
S: "yeah, besides if he is single, that means he/she either has not found the right person or doesn't want to which again makes it kinda complicated."
T: "ohh and just in case he is married, its still easier..its definitely complicated after marriage!"
and just like that, four friends sitting in CCD one rainy afternoon, came to the perfect conclusion of the perfect relationship.
its kinda sad that they still stick to the universal more socially acceptable and comprehensible versions when it comes to their own profiles..
but deep down in their hearts they know that there is in reality, just one unanimous relationship status which sums them all---COMPLICATED!!
July 30, 2009
of life, hope and simple desires...
Desires---dont we all have some??
ofcourse we do...afterall 'salvation' is something far far away for us mere mortals isnt it??
our desires keep changing according to the various phases we are in and as per the myriad parts we play in life...
but often we take things for granted...like say normal day to day achievements without even stopping to think that these could be the unfulfilled desires of someone...
someone who you dont even know or perhaps never would...
someone who desires to perform the normal mundane tasks u do and maybe have even cribbed about just because its too routine and because u needed a change...
What if u never had the capacity to perform them? what if u had never been blessed with that potetial uve been overlooking and taking for granted all along?
To see the myriad colours of the rainbow...
to appreciate the beauty of which they all say...
to know what loved ones look like without having to feel them...
to understand what it means when people say 'u look wonderful today'...
thus are the simple desires of the blind!
to hear the various notes of music...
to listen to the chirpings of those beautiful birds...
to know what the first rains sound like....
to dream as ur love whispers those 3 words...
thus are the heartfelt desires of the deaf!
to sleep in the loving arms of a mother...
to argue with a screaming dad...
to play and fight alike with siblings...
these are the blessings that orphan kid never had...
thus are the longing desires of the alone!
to eat that candy the other kids are having...
without the fear of falling sick...
the chance to pamper that craving sweet tooth...
without the terror of that extra prick...
thus are the sweet desires of a juvenile diabetic!
to walk around without any support...
to stand tall and see what it feels...
not ever having to face those 'following' eyes,
of people around when they see u on wheels...
thus are the desires of the crippled!
and yet we all have our own desires...
though some may seem simple, while others profound...
but 'sans' desires, life would be nothin...
cos they are the threads by which our dreams are bound!
thus are the desires of people..of dreams..of life---thanks to which we are here today...
alive and hoping...
alive and dreaming...
alive and living....
PS: i had written this piece a long while ago and some of you might have already read it on my then-functional-blog "raindrops on roses"
but for some reason it triggered off a strange sense of nostalgia as i read it today and so i thought of reposting it here.
i apologise for the usage of harsh words like 'blind' , 'deaf' and 'crippled' instead of a more subtle 'challenged' or 'impaired'...but ive used them so that one does not ignore the intensity of the situation.
because no matter what they say, it still is a strong blow and a harsh world for those who have to face it!!
ofcourse we do...afterall 'salvation' is something far far away for us mere mortals isnt it??
our desires keep changing according to the various phases we are in and as per the myriad parts we play in life...
but often we take things for granted...like say normal day to day achievements without even stopping to think that these could be the unfulfilled desires of someone...
someone who you dont even know or perhaps never would...
someone who desires to perform the normal mundane tasks u do and maybe have even cribbed about just because its too routine and because u needed a change...
What if u never had the capacity to perform them? what if u had never been blessed with that potetial uve been overlooking and taking for granted all along?
To see the myriad colours of the rainbow...to appreciate the beauty of which they all say...
to know what loved ones look like without having to feel them...
to understand what it means when people say 'u look wonderful today'...
thus are the simple desires of the blind!
to hear the various notes of music...
to listen to the chirpings of those beautiful birds...
to know what the first rains sound like....
to dream as ur love whispers those 3 words...
thus are the heartfelt desires of the deaf!
to sleep in the loving arms of a mother...
to argue with a screaming dad...
to play and fight alike with siblings...
these are the blessings that orphan kid never had...
thus are the longing desires of the alone!
to eat that candy the other kids are having...
without the fear of falling sick...
the chance to pamper that craving sweet tooth...
without the terror of that extra prick...
thus are the sweet desires of a juvenile diabetic!
to walk around without any support...
to stand tall and see what it feels...
not ever having to face those 'following' eyes,
of people around when they see u on wheels...
thus are the desires of the crippled!
and yet we all have our own desires...
though some may seem simple, while others profound...
but 'sans' desires, life would be nothin...
cos they are the threads by which our dreams are bound!
thus are the desires of people..of dreams..of life---thanks to which we are here today...
alive and hoping...
alive and dreaming...
alive and living....
PS: i had written this piece a long while ago and some of you might have already read it on my then-functional-blog "raindrops on roses"
but for some reason it triggered off a strange sense of nostalgia as i read it today and so i thought of reposting it here.
i apologise for the usage of harsh words like 'blind' , 'deaf' and 'crippled' instead of a more subtle 'challenged' or 'impaired'...but ive used them so that one does not ignore the intensity of the situation.
because no matter what they say, it still is a strong blow and a harsh world for those who have to face it!!
July 29, 2009
yum bake!!
..to a slightly more sorted out, less confusing and moderately sensitive life!!
so people spread the word and ohh just FYI, chocolates, candy, flowers ets are most welcome (just make sure there are no rotten eggs and tomatoes though)...so what are ya waiting for?? LETS CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!! :D
thankyou thankyou!!
so people spread the word and ohh just FYI, chocolates, candy, flowers ets are most welcome (just make sure there are no rotten eggs and tomatoes though)...so what are ya waiting for?? LETS CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!! :D
thankyou thankyou!!
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