June 05, 2010

maybe, just maybe...

life is packed in sepia tinted boxes...and the moving van is at the door!

we always saw this coming--you and me..
yet today, i feel a strange pull tugging at my heartstrings as i wait for you to return--my silly heart wishfully thinking that perhaps you would ask me to stay...

maybe, just maybe...
you would snatch the suitcase from my hand and tell me that i do not have the right to leave like that...
maybe, just maybe...
you would promise that things would change..that you would care just a little more..keep aside a little of your time exclusively for me...
maybe, just maybe...
you would tell me how much i mean to you and that it would make a difference if i stayed and gave everything another chance..
maybe, just maybe...
you would tell me that i do not have any right to pack up 'our' memories in those boxes and take them with me, because you have a right on each and every one of them too...
maybe, just maybe...
you would yell at me and tell me that i cannot take these decisions all by myself...
maybe, just maybe...
you would send away the moving van with the warning that you never want it to be seen anywhere around our world again....
maybe, just maybe...
it would all matter to you...
maybe, just maybe...
you would tell me it did....

life is packed in sepia tinted boxes...and the moving van is at the door...

im all set to leave but i wait for you to get back...all because those maybe's in my mind yearn to come true.
you enter through the front door with a blank look on your face--as if unaware of what is happening.

maybe, just maybe...

i tell you i am leaving, wishing and hoping all the time for you to stop me from leaving..yell at me for trying to run away like that.

maybe, just maybe...

you are taken aback at first.
but the very next instance, the warmth in your eyes is replaced by a cold stare 'if that is what you want, so be it..your happiness is all that matters to me' you say..

i look at you and smile, knowing that it would be the last thing i'd ever want..all i want is that one maybe which i now know for sure, isn't coming true.

you fail to see the tears in my eyes..you fail to see the hurt in my voice..just like you fail to see how much i love you.

you think i want to be happy..happy without you..and all i can do is smile at the irony.
there are no maybe's in my mind now...its asif they have all shyed away from confronting that one strong statement you have made without hesitation..its clear that you dont understand me..

and it makes me wonder if you ever did...
'you stay happy too' is all i can muster up at that moment..a thousand maybe's have been brutally crushed and im left fumbling for words..

life is packed in sepia tinted boxes...and the moving van is at the door!

as i carry all the boxes one by one to the waiting van, i notice a tear drop roll down your cheek..

and my silly heart is back to it again---maybe, just maybe...you do understand!