June 15, 2010

of reel and real love...

as much as i like the video for the candyfloss cuteness it brings along, i must admit that i find this song (which im sure is written by a man), terribly sexist!!
i mean why o why is this song telling only the girl to change (read 'prove her love') so much??

Show him that you care’ just for him.
Do the things that he likes to do.
Wear your hair just for him’ ’cause’
You won’t get him’ thinkin’ and prayin’’
Wishin’ and hopin’.

sorry boss! personally i'd choose to differ in this regard.
why should i do the things he likes to do and wear my hair the way he would like..
he should keep away from these areas and i think we should manage just fine..but he cannot expect to wrap me around his finger in exchange of a wedding ring around mine..

i'd rather be single and happy than have a sexist husband who will keep telling me how to dress and what to do.

ok enough said in favour of women's lib, let me proceed to explain why i disagree with the song in the first place---
see its like this--i agree that wishing and hoping and thinking and praying wont get you into his heart, but neither is holding and kissing and squeezing and caring if you arn't there to begin with..

if you keep doing the things he likes to do and start dressing and even wearing your hair only to please him, just to get a wedding ring around your finger, then there are chances that married or not, you may end up losing your identity along with your mind in due course of time!

so my advice to all the girls out there would be--
just be yourself!!
you dont need to 'show' him that you care..that will be obviously evident if you do..and neither do you need to do anything uncomfortable just to prove how much you love him.
because only if he loves the 'you' that you love, it would mean he truly loves you.
and if he truly loves you, nothing in the world is going to stop him from pushing the ring around your finger..
but if he doesn't, then nothing in the world is going to make him do it--no amount of dreaming and wishing and hoping or hugging and kissing and holding...

love finds its own way to the future without you having to try!

sidenote: i have a feeling that most guys around here are going to hate me for this post ;p


Phoenix said...

That's a lot of anger

Pri said...

@ phoenix
anger?? naah..just my opinion---with regard to woman's lib and excessive display of affection :)
what is your opinion on it?

aditi said...

loved the last part..i am convinced.if it is to happen, it will happen :)

Divesh said...

"Being yourself" is highly over-rated :)

lena said...

I believe there is nothing in this post that should make someone hate you :)
When you are in a relationship some things come out natural, care is one of them. You don't need to show it extra. It is either there or it is not. We love the other person for who they are and so do they. They love us for the person we are. And what's the point of trying to be someone you are not. Be yourself, that's the only basis of the relationship.

aditi said...

I don't know. I feel sometimes we all liked to be pampered, so what's wrong with showing the care when you do care?
Of course it should work both ways.
But then love and care are not something to be traded. Slight imbalance, on either side hardly makes a difference.

Why don't we make such a song for guys telling them what to do for gals:P

Bhushan said...

Totally agree with Divesh.. If everyone is their own self.. there will be too many independent variables :)

MangoMan said...


To "be yourself" is hip. It's fashionable. It's overrated.

Forget head over heels kinda love and welcome back to reality. No one is perfect. And it would mean a lot to A if he makes B realize of her flaws and she tries to change some of the ways, of course after realizing where was she going wrong.

But then, no double standards. Men should be expected to mend their ways as well that would make the relationship even sweeter!

MangoMan said...

As a matter of fact, your concept of real and reel love is totally reversed.

Reel: "Wo pyar karey toh tumse karey, tum jaise ho waise karey.. yada yada yada"

Real: Be practical. Work hard in a relationship. Make amends. Compromise. Make sacrifices.

rahul said...


rahul said...

aaj ke zamane mein itni honesty bhi theek nahi.

Dreamcatcher said...

@pri: i agee wid mmb's second comment.....ur living in a fairytale if u think som e prince is gonna cum and accept you for who u are...n ul live happily ever after...
in love, der are compromises, adjustments and many such stuff....if the two u do all this n still feel d same way for each oder after the end of all the trouble it took u to reach der, den i'd say that *you've found the one*

nands said...

"Love find its own way to the future without you having to try!"
So do you mean one should drop all trying/wooing efforts? :)

Pri said...

@ all
i agree with you when you say that adjustments and some amount of compromise is necessary in a relationship...but i do not agree that it should be the BASIS of a relationship..
like the song says that you cant get your love just wishing and hoping...you should go all out and show it to him.
well, that i disagree with..i dont think that is necessary because if you are in love then it shows by ITSELF without you deliberately having/trying to show it..

as for those of you who think im living in a fairtale, i dont mind it...and that is a personal choice :)
in my opinion, you dont need a prince to accept you as you are...someone who respects your love and reciprocates the same is enough for a happily ever after ending to the story..

so in the famous words of carrie bradshaw i would requote
"im looking for real love--ridiculous inconvenient consuming cant-live-without-each-other kinda love"
and i believe that this kind of love, even though might need you to adjust/compromise will not let you notice you are doing so..

i agree i have high standards when it comes to love...if they are met, then it would be fantastic..but if they arnt, then its fine too.
but rest assured, at the cost of looking stubborn--fairytale or not, in no way or circumstance am i going to lower the pedestal i have for it :)

MangoMan said...

but if they arnt, then its fine too.

but if they arnt, then its fine too.


Pri said...

@ mangomanbunty
naah..u got me wrong there...its not a contradiction...wht i meant there was that, im not someone who is going to settle for anything less than what i think is love, for love...
if my standards are met and i find true love then it would be great..but if i dont end up finding it, then im okay with staying single too...
but i cant allow myself to settle for something i dont believe in!

hope that clears your misunderstanding about my comment :)

Lady Whispers said...

I COMPLETELY agree with u gal :D
finally i meet a women lib types who sees my pt too :D
I wdnt want someone who would want me to change just because of what he likes infact if he fell for me for who i m than love me that way....ya adjustments happens and ppl tend to start pampering and looking good so that ur partner appreciates and compliments...that accepted.
Looking good is one thing and changing ur identity to get in his good books is different....trust me such relationships never survive...only those survive where ur urself and he loves u for it...
Thats y i say the true kind of love is one where ur urself when ur with them.......adjustments are always there but ur core essence remains

And gal ur in no fairytales such males do exist who can be crazy for the real u.....there u dont feel u adjust ..u feel happy to adjust and u dont realize u adjusted because ur being urself.....

I did found such fairytale prince and i m sure u will find too :)

Pri said...

@ lena and scribbling girl
u guys are undoubtedly the antiseptic amidst all the virtual brickbats flung around here ;)
(i appreciate the honesty with which the brickbats were flung though) lol!!

but i have to say that you two might be the only ones who understand what im saying...and im happy to know that you agree with me and dare to go right ahead and say so..
its rare for people to take a clear stand for what they believe in, especially when in a minority, and that is something i truly respect :)

Anonymous said...

i hav read all yr blogs frm start and i find yr attitude very similar to geet frm JAB WE MET :)