March 08, 2011

Remember?

Remember the time you grazed yourself and went rushing to her, soiled uniform, bruised knee, teary eyed et al...and her one hug eased all the hurt?.
She had carefully washed and cleaned the wound and every time you had winced, it was she who had felt the pain.
Those bedtime stories, those homework sessions, that yelling you later got immune to?
DO you still remember those days? just feels like yesterday doesn't it?

and then you grew up...
grew older and slowly drifted away.
Yeah, sure there were times you still got hurt, bruised yourself physically as well as emotionally, but it felt awkward asking for a hug.
you dint want to be labeled mama's boy...and she, this time she was hurt..but she never complained.

and today??? you cant recall the last time you called her up without a reason.you have to be reminded of her birthday by your secretary or cellphone reminder..and then you call, your voice reflecting the guilt when you say that 'happy birthday mom' to the woman who always called you at midnight on your birthday till u started switching off your cellphone because you did not want to be disturbed.
but despite everything,she is still there for you..always has been & always will be, even though you may now be miles apart from her, settled in a new home...married...wife...kids...busy!!
somewhere you know, one call is all it will take...

dont you think you are taking her for granted?

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Rremember the time she was angry with you for not buying her a 'rakhi' present?.
that day she threw that tantrum and said that she wouldn't tie you the rakhi unless you got her that dvd collection you had promised??.
those playful arguments you had which often led to fist fights?.
the times she protected you from your dads wrath when you got your reportcard??.
all those times you would fight like kids who had to be pulled off each other by mom?
that day you had confided in her about your college crush?
those times she pulled your leg about telling mom of the girl who called up and spoke hours on phone with you?
the first time you realised how much she meant to you when you couldn't stop yourself from crying softly, the day she got married and went away from home to start off a new world, leaving a void in your heart everytime you entered her empty room?

and today???

she is still there for you--sending you that rakhi every 'raksha bandhan'..praying for your safety...telling her kids glorified stories about her kid brother...and somehow still always defending you just to put you in good light no matter what anybody in her new world might say.

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Remember the times she helped you with your homework back in school just to prove herself plain smarter??.
yeah, the same girl who you would never allow to join in your play group because u felt she was just too girly and you couldn't dream of being known as her friend?? the one you hated only because she was a 'girl'...remember??
and then one day, you suddenly stopped hating her and her kind.
you suddenly felt a strange kinda shyness to pull at her pigtails.
All of a sudden the 'boys versus girls' gang fights stopped, the awkwardness developed, politeness and mannerisms stepped in.
She was transformed from rowdy to coy, you changed from pesky to boyish...
and there somehow your heart skipped that beat!
The boy and girl gang shook hands for the first time, and even before you could realise what was happening, she had become your best friend...or rather your very first 'girl-friend'.
You hardly knew the seriousness of the term back then.
All you knew was that, she was a girl and she was your friend and that made her your 'girl friend'...and somehow it felt good.
You felt special and so did she--the magic of 'tom sawyer' and 'becky'!!

and years went by, you had to change schools, her family moved, shifted to another town.
You two promised to stay in touch but lost contact sooner than you thought---that always happens doesn't it?

and today???
you still remember her sometimes..and perhaps, she does too.
Maybe she is married..maybe you are.
but when you see those school kids walking down the road hand in hand with innocent grins pasted on their faces, somewhere a face comes to mind--the same coy face with pigtails, and even though its been over 2 decades,not once has the face changed to something more mature than that.

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ohh remember her??
your college sweetheart.the one you had a crush on but never managed to gather the guts to confess?
the one you used to wait back for after every tuition class just to watch go home with friends?
That day she dint attend class and you ended up pestering everyone around you, worrying what could have happened.
you do remember right??
hmmm...but do you remember there was this other girl in the same batch who used to watch you silently and blush, who you would always ask for notes and she would never refuse even though there was an exam the next day??
the one who worried her heart out when YOU were absent?.
the one you carelessly ignored during 'fun week' because you were too busy ogling at 'miss oomph'?
you remember her, dont you??
well, she noticed all that and walked away with tears in her eyes never to speak to you again.

and today???
so many years after college, though 'miss oomph' must not even know if you are alive or not, that someone you had once ignored might be thinking of you and smiling at the naivity of those teenage years...at the innocence of love or what she thought it to be then...and somewhere someday you too might have wished you hadn't ignored her that much.

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Remember the day you first met her?saw her at a friend's wedding and thought she just wasn't your type-whatever that means?
It was later that you two spoke to each other and something changed.
you started liking her as you got to know her better?
and that's how it all started...
two phone numbers exchanged and months of incessant conversations followed.

and today???
she is sitting beside you and watching tv as you smile at those memories and surprise her by suddenly pulling her towards you & giving her a hug.
she blushes and smiles with a raised eyebrow and interrogates what you are surfing to cause such a reaction..and you grin and say "for all those times".

yes, that girl you met at your friends wedding eventually ended up being the girl sitting beside you for yours.

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Remember the day your wife announced she was pregnant with your first born?
Remember how happy you were when after 9 months of waiting.
you saw her face for the first time...sleeping peacefully in her cradle?
the time you couldn't stop those big fat tears of joy from running down your cheeks when she first called you 'da-da'?
Remember that joy you had felt when she walked for the first time? --how she held tight to your little finger as if she would never let go.
and then....she grew older, you got busier.
you wanted to make more money--for her ofcourse..for her future...for her to have a secure life.
yeah, you were doing it all for her.but didn't you realise how much she missed having her daddy around to play with, to throw her up and catch her as she giggled like he used to?
Didn't you realise that all she wanted, was for him to take some time and take her to the park, get her back from school like all the other daddies did?

and today???
When she is having the life you always wanted her to have...a secure future...the comfort you always wished she would get, why is that you wish she would come and sit with you for a while and laugh like she used to when she was a kid?
Why do you want her to leave her friends and go with you for a walk in the park?? and most of all, why cant you just face her eye to eye and tell her just that?

guilty?? that she'll ask you why you weren't there when she needed you the most?

but you do know right, that somewhere all it would take is one word of affection--one heart to heart talk, just one father-daughter conversation to get her to say that 'i love you dad' you'd last heard when she was a kid, just because u were always too busy to hear it since.

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Have you been ignoring the women in your life?? neglecting them? how much could you relate to this post??
If you could, then its time you realised something.
Probably your mom is still waiting for that one call.
Probably your sister is still expecting you to drop at her place for raksha bandhan, not for the gift but for that fist fight she misses.
Probably your best friend still google's up your name in the hope that she might track u someday.
Probably that girl from college is still thinking of you and wondering why she just wasn't 'good enough'.
Probably your wife is still smiling at those memories of your 'courtship period' wishing it would be the same again.
Probably your daughter is still waiting for her 'da-da' to ask her to join him for his evening jog.

ITs never too late..for people who still love you.

So go right ahead! show them you still remember... show them you still love them... that you still care..and that you always will!

here's wishing all the girls in and around blogsville, A VERY HAPPY WOMAN'S DAY!! :)

P.S: im not going to be around for a week or so..will be back here by the 20th..till then, stay happy & miss me loads!! ;)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

awesome writing...i called up my mom after reading this :)

happy womens day!

simply me said...

@ tn
danke...im happy you liked it :)

@ anonymous
thankyou :)
that is very sweet of you..im sure your mom must have liked that

Ria said...

Loved it!!

simply me said...

@ ria
im glad :)